it's kind of important..? I'd just like everyone to read this?? I don't know. You don't have to, but I would appreciate it if you did.
As of today, February 12, it has now been one year since I began RPing Set, and RP in general. While this is something to be celebrated in someways, it is also something that has lead me to think a lot about the past year and how it's impacted me. A lot of good things have come from my involvement with RP and those also involved in it, but has also taken a huge toll on me mentally, emotionally, and even physically.
When I first started YGOT, I was terrified. I was intimidated, afraid I wouldn't be good enough for the rest of the group, afraid no one would want to play with Set, seeing as he's a rather overlooked character anyway. But I was wrong, and people started talking to me, talking to Set, and it was amazing. I'd never had something like that happen before. I'm used to being treated in the opposite manner. My existence is acknowleged, but that's it. No one tries to talk to me, to interact. But this was a whole new experience, and I was incredibly happy. I was still scared of everyone, and honestly I put you all on some rather high pedestals. Some of you remain on them even now.
I felt like I was actually worth existing. Everyone was incredibly kind to me, and really made me feel like I was a part of the group.
And as we continued as a group to talk in and out of character, I found that I was becoming more and more happy, less anxious, like I was allowed to talk, allowed to have some control over what I do, like I was...liked. Anytime anyone complimented me or Set I cried. I still do.
Being involved made me happier than I'd been in...years, really. I don't even remember the last time I was that excited to go talk to someone, or to go do something. I would literally rush home from work or class or whatever and the first thing I would do was flip on my laptop and wait impatiently for it to boot up and load Tumblr and TC. I'd never felt so passionately about anything before. Never so happy about something. The panic I felt about being cut off from it, not being able to talk to those people I found to be my friends, was horrible.
I don't know if anyone really remembers my awful tantrum I had after my dad cut off the internet and I literally packed up some stuff and...ran away from my house, but I did just so I could keep talking to you. That's how important you all were to me. Not just the RPing, but the communication between all of us, in or out of character.
You were all my friends. And even though things have fallen apart now, and we've all pretty much drifted different ways, I know that we all still have connections to each other, whether we like it or not. We all influenced and impacted one another in many different ways, some good, some bad, but it's all part of being in a group, and those changes or influences will always be a part of us now. I feel like I've grown somewhat, in light of all the negative occurences I had, and I think I'm a little bit better of a person having learned somethings. Sure, some of us have gained negative attributes or have had them brought out further, but I think all of you are better in some ways because of it too.
I know it may sound silly or stupid to some of you, but February-May 2011 was probably the happiest I've ever been in my life.
I just thought I would tell you that; not to make you feel guilty, or sad, or angry or anything at all...it's just so you know that you guys really did make me so so very happy, and I do not regret my venture into RPing one bit. Everything I have ever said to any one of you I have meant with all my heart, and I really just hope you know that, okay?
TL;DR - I don't hate any of you, and you all seriously made me the happiest I think I've ever been, through RPing and just getting to know you. You've helped me grow a little stronger and a tad more grounded with myself. So thank you.
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
stormborns
discoholicmusic
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
titsay
romaincrisis
