Heir Adjacent

what it takes to survive -- history is written by the victors, but the rest of my allies seem illiterate -- severus snape rp blog -- part of ad honorem rp

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

of course i want this more than anything. she’d moved to pull away from him, but visibly hesitated at his words. maybe if she wasn’t raging drunk, she’d have felt an excitement at them, but all she felt was a bitter frustration. “then stop acting like you’re ashamed of it.” his words only pissed her off more. god, why was he so stubborn? it infuriated her to no end and she felt like slapping him across the face.

“no, i think i’m going to finish my bottle then go home with that guy instead. at least he knows what he wants.” tirade? she felt her tirade was completely justified, thank-you-very-much. her aunt had been murdered and sev had rejected her in a bar packed with people. him turning away and storming off only made her more infuriated. she wasn’t through with her lecture.

the door swung open into the alleyway next to the bar and she yelled out at him. perhaps she’d had too much to drink, because her words were not kind. “poor little severus! always the victim! my aunt’s mutilated five year old corpse was just found, and then i was humiliated in front of a good twenty people in there, but of course you’re the one all offended and upset because i struck a nerve! poor little severus! “ the bottle was being thrown about in the air as her hands were flying, “stop acting like the little fucking child you used to be is still who you are, because it’s not. grow up and stop running away from everything and accept someone actually can care about you!“

_

Before he got three steps out the door she was on him, berating him once more but this time the words cut deep. How she could see right through him, see the part of him he so carefully composed an exterior to hide, and spit it in his face was beyond him. Wasn’t she the one who wanted him to have her, right then and there? His eyes began to burn, with tears or rage he wasn’t sure. He stood there for a moment, eyes locked on Victoria before he moved.

It was almost inhuman the way Severus closed the space between them. In one motion he snatched the bottle out of Victoria’s hand and threw it against the alleyway. The shattering glass was satisfying. It was nice to let go of the restraint he employed day after day.

With his other hand he grabbed Victoria’s wrist, pivoting on the spot and apparating just outside his flat. Wordlessly he unlocked the door and dropped the wards, pushing Victoria into the room and closing the door behind them. He didn’t wait for her to react, he shoved her toward his bed, eyes boring into her.

“You did not know me as a child, Victoria. You did not even know me in school.” His voice was low, calculated, edged with hard consonants and the seething emotions that he could no longer keep at bay. Rage muddled together with grief, excitement and love. “You want to unpack all of this? Fine. I came into the world the product of a blood traitor who married a muggle who liked to rough up his wife and kid when he’d had a hard day at the factory. The one friend I made before school I managed to push so far away she landed in the arms of my worst enemy, where she remains comfortably to this day. I had to scrape my way into the good graces of every pureblood you see me surrounded by, partly by admitting I know that I came from filth.” The words were spilling out of him and even though he tried to stop them, he couldn’t. A torrent of twenty years of anguish came pouring out from him in wave after wave.

“My whole life it’s been moment after moment proving to me that I’m worthless. And the most beautiful girl, full of passion and grit and somehow she tolerates my presence even though I have been clawing my way through life doing only what it took to survive. You talk about being embarrassed in front of twenty people? How do you think your friends are going to react when you tell them that you fucked Severus Snape? Do you really think anyone is going to approve of whatever this is?” He finally stopped to take a breath, and realized with surprise that his face was wet. At some point the tears, from embarrassment or rage he wasn’t sure, must have started to fall. He wiped his face furiously and turned away to his potions station.

“Now I’m going to get you a potion to help you tomorrow and you’re going to take it. Leave with it or stay here it’s up to you.”

[prince-in-name-alone]

xkilljxy​:

Whoever called it morning sickness had been a liar. All day long, Daisy thought that she was fine until she felt the familiar lurch in her stomach and found herself rushing off to the bathroom. Barely eight weeks in and this pregnancy was already wiping her out. Every little smell was setting her off, and she hadn’t even been able to eat the lunch that she’d packed because it had sent her hurtling toward the toilet yet again. Her stomach had to be empty by now. Considering the amount of dry heaving she was doing. As she popped yet another peppermint into her mouth and headed back up front, her feet faltered and she stopped abruptly when coming face to face with Severus, being extremely cross and snapping at her.

Her hand immediately went to her stomach, which lurched again and she had to force herself to swallow, both the lump in her throat and the desire to run for the bathroom yet again. “Oh, I–” She had to blink several times, feeling that sheen of tears threatening to cover her eyes and nearly swearing at her own damn hormones. But, well… Severus was aggressive. “I’m just… I have to go to the toilet a lot be-because…” She stuttered a bit, teeth curling around her lip and swallowing again. “I’m sorry. It’s just morning sickness. I’ll… I’ll get a bucket or something. Try to stay up here more. Sorry.”

_

In the time they had worked together, Severus had learned quite a bit about Daisy.  She was fiery, purposefully irritating, and entirely much more trouble than she was worth.  Nor was she prone to dramatics, at least not in the shop.  So when she began to act as if she was going to be sick in the floor, her eyes welling up with tears at only slight provocation, Severus nearly recoiled.  Instead and eyebrow raised, his eyes flicking down to her stomach as her hand covered it protectively.  

Morning sickness.  The intensity fell from Severus’s expression to be replaced with shock.  It wasn’t as if the two of them talked about their lives outside of work and their affiliation with the war, but he had no idea she was that close with anyone, or that she wanted to have children at all.  He straightened up, turning his back on her and clearing his throat.  

“That won’t be necessary.  You’ll probably just scare away more of the customers than you’d help.”  He began busying himself with wiping down the counter.  “And if it would help I could begin researching some potions that would ease your... predicament without harming the... cause of your condition.”  

[prince-in-name-alone]

closed: @acturus-regulus​ location: Slugg & Jiggers, after close

“Stop being foolish, Regulus.”  Severus looked at the younger boy, his face neutral, but serious.  He wouldn’t be making the effort to talk to him were it not for Narcissa.  Severus had come to appreciate the witch.  She was poised, intelligent, and would make it out of this war in tact.  That all would be true, Severus reasoned, if she wasn’t dragged down by those around her.  Regulus was one of them.  He had become careless, even for him.  “Paris is distracted with a personal matter now, but he won’t be for long, and the first thing he’s going to notice is your attitude.”  

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

severus slamming his hand over the glass only made her more pissed off. first, he rejects her, then he decides who she can and can’t accept drinks from? “it wasn’t for you. i doubt this one is poisoned.” her words were sour, full of obvious hurt. “at least someone’s showing interest.” she pushed his hand away from the drink and took a sip of it, her eyes never leaving his in some sort of taunt.

“what do you think?” she rose from her seat again, taking a few steps towards him. “you saved my life. you bought me a new snake after thinking you’d killed mine. you even challenged paris when you found out i was in the ministry.” she gave him a look as if to say yeah, he told me. “you drive me insane, you make me furious..”

she was far too drunk, if she was sober she definitely wouldn’t have been confessing such things. “why can’t you grasp that someone is capable of having feelings for you? do you hate yourself that much, that you think you don’t deserve it?”

she shook his hand off when he reached for it. “no. either you want this, or you don’t. i’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me. am i making a bigger fool of myself, or am i right? are you just too scared to let someone care for you, and care for them in return? i’m sick of losing people. so just tell me the fucking truth, severus, so i can go back to finishing my bottle.”

_ 

Severus’s eyes narrowed, his pale face growing flushed.  His hand hovered over the space where the glass had been as her tirade struck him deeper and deeper.  It took all his self-restraint to keep from snatching the drink from her hand and shattering the glass against the wall.  She stood and moved toward him and he stood his ground, his eyes still staring through her.

She loudly discussed things that the bar had no business knowing.  Personal things that he had done for her.  Things about the war that could easily cast suspicion on the two of them, Paris included.  And then she asked him a question that cut to the root of who he was.  

Why would he deserve anything more than what he already have?  He was a man who used people as pawns because it made it easier to cut loose when you needed to.  He carefully arranged his life to give himself the best outcome and even still things fell apart.  He had pushed away the only person who had shown him some semblance of love, straight into the arms of his worst enemies.  

He hated the life he’d been given, the world he’d had to grow up in.  He hated his mother for leaving behind her family and marrying a worthless muggle man.  He hated Hogwarts for tearing apart his oldest friendship.  But he hated himself.  For all the grandeur, all the superiority, he hated who he was.  He closed the space between them, grabbing Victoria’s wrist firmly, but not tightly.  He spoke in a sharp whisper, his words icy and intense.  

“Of course I want this more than anything, but I am not having this conversation here, in front of a room of people who don’t need the details of my sorry life.  Now, you can either come with me, or you can remain here.  But don’t expect for me to be doting on you when you’re through with your tirade.” With that, he let go of her wrist, turned on his heel, and left.

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

she felt another surge of anger rush through her and she spun around in her seat. “no, i don’t want to talk about how my aunt was murdered. what i wanted was to be comforted by the idiot that i can’t get out of my head, the asshole that always has my attention. but apparently, he doesn’t want to comfort me like i thought he did so i’ve humiliated myself and my family all in one night. was that not obvious?” her accent was thick and she was genuinely surprised she hadn’t burst out into a fit in french. instead, she rolled her eyes and spun back around just in time for a full glass of whiskey to be placed in front of her.

_

Severus’s mind was whirring, attempting desperately to keep up with everything Victoria was saying as her accent became thicker, and her words became more and more surprising.  First there was this business about her aunt being murdered.  His mind immediately went to all the enemies who could have perpetrated it, how Paris would react, what sort of damage control Severus or the other Death Eaters would have to do. 

But all these thoughts came to a grinding halt as she started to talk about him.  She couldn’t get him out of her head?  He had her attention?  None of that made any sense, why? When he was Snivillus? Poor, unaccomplished, overlooked, unkempt.  She was so much better than him on so many levels.  It made sense why he would want her, but the other way around?  

A glass of whiskey showed up in front of her, and before the bartender could point out the man with the hungry looking eyes a few chairs over, Severus slammed his hand over the glass.  His eyes flicked over to the wizard, daring him to react, before flicking just as quickly back to Victoria.  She would not be drinking strange drinks ordered by someone they didn’t know in the bar.  It hadn’t worked out well the last time and Severus simply wouldn’t let it happen again.  

“What do you mean ‘you can’t get me out of your head’?”  His eyes narrowed, not daring to let himself hope for anything more than he deserved, which was the antagonistic friendship they had shared for some time.  “I’m... me.  You’re fantastic and could have any number of rich, eligible wizards to sweep you off your feet and comfort you and whatever else it is you want to do.  I’m not like the rest of the friends you and Paris keep, Victoria.  I don’t add up,”  He gestured to the bartender, directing him to take the whiskey back to the man who had ordered it.  “I’m not good enough for you, but neither is anyone else you’re going to find here.  Come on.”  He held out his hand, his expression tense, forceful.  

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

she relaxed against his touch, leaning into him more as his hand wound around her waist. it felt so good to finally kiss the idiot instead of them both just yelling at each other and pretending like there wasn’t sexual tension between them. his lips were so much softer than they looked, too.

and then he pulled away and it felt like she’d been doused with cold water. you’re drunk. of course she was, she’d nearly finished a whole bottle of vodka. that didn’t mean she didn’t know what she was doing, what she wanted to do. being drunk had just finally brought those desires to the forefront instead of them being buried deep down.

was that all he had to say? she yanked her hands from his roughly and moved away, a little further down the bar. “seriously? i tell you i want sex and you give me a fucking hangover cure.” the cure was slammed down on the bar beside them. she felt rejected and she wasn’t used to that feeling. not at all. “it’s not me that would regret it, apparently.” she sat back down and quickly finished her bottle. “if you’re going to make me feel like the idiot with a dead aunt, then get out.”

_ 

Severus visibly cringed as Victoria shoved past him.  He knew she would be upset, but the rage in her response genuinely shocked him.  His dark eyes watched her, unmoving as she stomped to her seat, slamming the potion down on the bar and downing the rest of her bottle.  He wished she would take the potion, at least.  They both knew she could do much better, and that he should remain at best her friend, at least her potion supplier.  

But then she mentioned something about her aunt and Severus’s stomach sank.   Merlin, she wasn’t the idiot, he was.  Why else would she be here, practically inhaling alcohol if it wasn’t for something this big.  Severus took a step back towards her, arms crossed. 

“You’re not an idiot. Far from it.”  He stood there in silence for a moment, unsure of how to progress.  Merlin did he want to kiss her again, to apparate with her back to his flat and see exactly what she had in mind for the two of them.  For a moment he let himself imagine them together, all over his flat and his pulse quickened again.  

But he also knew that much vodka meant she wasn’t thinking as clearly as normal.  All the times they had spent together, Severus was now slowly beginning to realize, either ended with bickering or Victoria not in her right mind, delirious from potion or uninhibited by alcohol.  If that was all he was to her, a bad decision, he could live with that.  He was used to unrequited love.  “What’s this about your aunt?  Do you want to talk about it or should I just order you another drink?” 

[prince-in-name-alone]

closed: @xavecamour​ (thorfinn) location: Leaky Cauldron

“You and Calista.  How did you know you liked her? Rather, how did you know she liked you?”  Severus grimaced.  He sounded like a second year, a prepubescent boy who’d just discovered what hormones were.  He didn’t like the lack of control he had on his own thoughts and feelings, much less the way things had gone the last time he talked with Victoria.  

Severus had been working up to asking Thorfinn about it ever since the two had sat down for drinks.  He was left confused and irritated and honestly at a loss for words, which rarely happened for the likes of him.  It wasn’t as if he had parents he could turn to, wanting nothing to do with his mother or father, and he didn’t have any siblings he could ask.  Thorfinn was his best option, and he hoped that their many conversations and discretion would keep the whole ordeal to the two of them.  It was why Severus had selected a table off to the side.  

“I know I don’t... often... delve into the emotional, apart from irritation, but I think I need... advice?” 

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

it wasn’t that she was angry with sev. he’d just… left her feeling hurt and confused and she didn’t like that at all. one minute they’d been cuddling in his bed, then the next she’d woken up alone and he hadn’t made an effort to check up on her to see if she was okay. she thought she’d meant more to him than that and it pissed her off that she was feeling things about someone who was just doing what he was told to not irritate her cousin. she’d intended on confronting him about it that night, to see how he felt, but then the whole dead aunt thing happened, so she decided to get drunk at the bar instead.

and by the time he’d gotten there, she was drunk. drunk to the point where she didn’t care about the consequences of her actions, drunk enough that she didn’t have the strength to shove down those feelings she had for him that had risen to the surface quickly and unexpectedly. she didn’t want to be alone, she needed a distraction from the painful ache in her chest.. so she jumped off her chair and grabbed at his collar. “shut up.” she pulled him roughly against her and kissed him. “fuck me, severus. in the bathroom, at your flat, i don’t care. i want you.”

_ 

He had expected Victoria to be drunk.  He thought this might give him the upper hand, if he was honest.  In their usual sparring of wits, her intoxication would mean he could be more quick-witted, stronger with comebacks.  He smirked as the recognition hit her eyes upon seeing him, about to cross his arms in front of him when suddenly she was springing off the chair, had him by his collar, and pulled him into her.  

For a moment there was nothing else.  It was just Victoria and Severus.  The brash, irritating, gorgeous, powerful woman who for some strange reason was drawing him closer to her, hungrily almost.  His heart throbbed in his chest, his blood pumping so loudly he felt certain the world could hear it.  Some deep, shriveled, neglected part of himself needed her.  He felt his arms react almost without permission, wrapping themselves around her.  One braced her waist, the other at the back of her neck, pulling her back toward him as they separated and she whispered to him what she wanted.

And then the world came back.  The taste of vodka on her breath.  The fact that they were in the middle of Eclipse.  The poisoning, which had been because she was with him in a bar the last time.  Paris’s sharp glare.  The war.  It all came crashing back onto Severus like lead, his chest heaving under their weight.  He breathed heavily, but pulled away from her, grabbing her hands in his as he took a step back.  

“You’re drunk.”  It was all he could say, all he could muster.  He cursed his need for perfection, for control, for calculation.  But it was the only thing he knew how to do, the only way he knew how to be.  Besides, there was no way, in her right mind, Victoria would feel this way about him.  He was Severus Snape, the halfblood son of a filthy muggle, who could afford to live above the same shop he worked at for discounted rent and who barely contributed to the war effort at all, these days.  He was distracted, and he couldn’t afford for Victoria to become distracted too.  

“I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret tomorrow.  But here, take this.”  He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a vial, placing it swiftly into her hand. “This will help with the hangover.” 

[spellbxnd-deactivated20220918]

where: eclipse with: anyone

vic hadn’t been very close with celia. in fact, she hadn’t known her for very long before she vanished without a trace. but coming home and finding paris on his knees.. it wasn’t something she’d ever forget. she was incredibly close to paris, as she was with her own mother, celia’s sister, so it hurt all the same, learning of her tragic death and seeing paris in such a state. she’d left him in cristine’s care, knowing he needed her more in that moment. she’d speak with him later.

for the time being, though, vic was downing her weight in vodka at eclipse. she’d nearly worked her way through the bottle when someone decided to interrupt her peace and she glared them down with a viciously unforgiving stare. “what is your problem?”

[prince-in-name-alone]

_

So much had happened since the night of the party, the night of the poisoning, the night they spent together.  Severus hadn’t been avoiding Victoria, per say, but he had been so caught up in maintaining the shop, the explosion at the ministry in which he couldn’t help her.  He didn’t know what the two of them were, having gone from being wracked with guilt at not saving her snake, to then having to save he own life.  He knew the moment they shared the morning after had been sweet, tender, something that was entirely foreign to Severus.  not much happened other than the two of them sleeping, entangled in a space meant for one.  Paris had arrived and woken them, escorting Victoria home with a terse “thank you” and that was the last time Severus had spoken with her.  

When he saw her at Eclipse that night, he almost turned around to leave.  She hadn’t seemed to make an effort to reach him either, so what did it matter if he continued to avoid her.  But a small part of him hoped that the night they had shared together, while tense at it’s start and unfamiliar throughout, would lead to something more.  It was with this small hope that he strode forward, and it was this hope that was crushed with the sort of reaction he was used to.  Her biting, irritated tone, and the nearly-drunk bottle of vodka in front of her, put Severus in a very irritated mood. 

“My problem is that I’m starting to get whiplash with you.  Next time you or your pet needs saving I might find myself otherwise occupied.”

[prince-in-name-alone]

lamoonlux​:

it had been days since the accident and lily had been resting. it was the only thing she could do. there were moments in the day that she thought to walk around, wanting to stretch and also put more mobility in her body. her leg and arm still needed mending from the crush of the rubble but it was getting better every day. once she took a push, she wanted to push back and the sooner she was able to get better and walking again, she would be better. 

the taste of medicine continued to be awful and the spells from at home healers were considered not the best part of her day. she thought remus couldn’t bring any more books for her to read as she was already going through three and it had been barely a week. she was appreciative of her friends who helped in other ways and of course, enjoyed seeing james at her bedside. 

lily had been in the kitchen making another cup of ginger tea when she sensed the wards trigger. that only happened when someone with the mark made a pass on the townhouse. she immediately went still before she took her wand out, approaching the door slowly both because she didn’t know who was on the other side and this was the only pace she could walk at without damaging anything more. already she could hear the healers voice in her mind telling her she’s walked around enough but there might be a death eater at the door and she wasn’t going to rest now. 

when she looked out the hole in the door to see severus she could feel her heart stop. not only was it severus, possibly the person at the bottom of her list she wanted to see but the trigger of the wards went off which meant he barred the mark. lily closed her eyes to repress herself from doing anything stupid. she knew this day would come, knew that it was more than being friends with him. she felt betrayed double over and lily tried to think before doing anything more. lily sent a patronus to dorcas, telling her the wards went off. hopefully if dorcas got it, she could come before severus tried anything. there might still be a person in there, but if he was a death eater, that meant that he and his friends were responsible for why she was hopping around. 

after a moment, lily opened the door with a look that was not impressed to see severus standing there. “severus,” she said simply, leaning against the doorframe. “what are you doing here?” her mind was already reminding herself to have this conversation with dorcas later. maybe even james but his reaction to merely talking to severus last time didn’t go well. she crossed her arms as best she could and stared at severus. “this isn’t the best time…”

_

Severus cursed under his breath as soon as he heard the door open.  Today, much like the entirety of his life, had somehow gone off of his carefully crafted script.  A part of him wondered why he even bothered trying anymore.  He froze in place, considering just apparating out before he heard her voice.  He turned, slowly, composing his face carefully into an expression of neutrality before he did.  She still looked the same, even while hurt, even while leaning casually against the doorframe he could find no fault in her.  He felt like a first year being scolded by the Prefects for being out of bed past curfew.  

“I... heard about what happened at the Ministry, and wanted to make sure you were alright.  I brought some potions along in case you needed any.” He gestured with his head towards the bag, his hand still clutching onto the strap for dear life.  “Hearing you were staying here with Meadows and the lot, I wanted to make sure you got the proper care.  Didn’t want to imagine what sort of sub-par brews and salves you might be subjected to from them.”  

He stood there, rooted in place, almost afraid that he would spook her away if he did more than answer her questions.  His eyes searched hers for any sort of emotion, and finding them blank his eyes fell to look at the grass.  It seemed well-tended at the very least.  

“I was foolish to think they had left you unprotected.  I managed to remove a few of the wards, but... My apologies if my meddling causes you any unnecessary grief.” Briefly, he wondered what she would do if he told her the truth.  If he told her that he knew it was coming all along but for her saftey didn’t dare warn her.  Too much attention drawn to her and she would be the next face of the missing posters, and Severus himself might be the one tasked with extracting information by whatever means necessary.  He wondered, too, what she would say if she knew he had thought of her every day since, just as he always did.  But no, she had made herself very clear when they were at school.  She didn’t care to know about his innermost self anymore.  

“I can leave these here with you.  They’re clearly labeled.  Use what you need and give the rest to whomever.  You’ll find they are expertly brewed, some with even stronger potency than expected.”  He pulled the strap of his bag from his shoulder, placing the bag lightly down in front of him and taking a few steps back.  He knew she didn’t trust him enough to come that close, not when it appeared he’d been breaking into her home.  He should have left, then, but some morbid curiosity begged him to stay, see how she would react.  

[prince-in-name-alone]

closed: @xkilljxy (Daisy) location: Slug & Jiggers

The bell rang as the last customer left the shop, and the forced neutral expression fell to reveal a very cross Severus Snape.  That was the 6th customer in the last hour, and although it was supposed to be a joint shift, it was the 6ths customer that Severus had helped.  It seemed all morning, every time a customer came into the shop, Daisy was scurrying off to do Merlin knows what in the back.  

Severus had potions to brew, and he was becoming increasingly more annoyed as time went on.  There were deadlines approaching for important customers, and while Severus didn’t particularly care about pleasing the clientele, he very much cared about keeping his job and his flat.  When Daisy finally reemerged from the back, Severus whipped around to face her, eyes narrowed.  

“If you’re trying to hide from someone, just tell me who it is and I will take care of that customer.  Otherwise, I expect you to start actually doing your job or I will take it up with the owners.”  

[prince-in-name-alone]

closed: @lamoonlux​ location: the townhouse

Severus Snape had never been what one would call reckless.  His life thus far had been mostly calculated decisions set expressly to advance his own safety and security.  Almost every step thus-far involved careful consideration before decisive action.  But something about all of this, the poison, the explosion... it had unhinged him on some level.  

Which is how he found himself standing outside the townhome that Lupin had let slip Lily resided in, with others whom Severus was certain would not understand or welcome him into their home.  So once he located the house, he waited until it seemed to be only occupied by Lily, still recovering from everything that had gone down at the Ministry.  Severus waited across the way, attempting to appear inconspicuous as he gripped the strap of the overloaded messenger back slung across his body.  

The charms and enchantments around the house were easy enough to undo.  Honestly, he should have brought a book on protection instead of just the potions, if this was all keeping intruders out.  The front windows of the house didn’t show any sort of movement in the windows, so Severus felt certain that Lily was resting, asleep somewhere.  That was fine.  He didn’t particularly want to talk to her, just see her and make sure she was alright... he had to.  Between his worry over her and Victoria, he was going to drive himself mad if he didn’t make sure she was ok.  

So that was how he found himself striding confidently towards the door of the townhome, unsure which room was Lily’s, bag in hand, silently wishing that no one else was home and that he could see her, and leave quietly.  

He should have known things were never that easy.  

All his spell work wasn’t enough, apparently.  Some unseen force, some stupid ward he had missed in his calculations stopped him dead in his tracks.  He became vaguely aware of a violent pull on his left arm before his whole body was yanked back half a foot.  He cursed loudly in surprise, looking at the house with wide eyes.  He hadn’t even made it to touch the door, and stood awkwardly in the front lawn.  The magic was powerful, that was for sure.  A part of him was glad, now knowing Lily was a bit more secure, but frustrated he couldn’t get any further.  He paused, attempting again to move forward and being stopped by some sort of spell.  He grabbed his wand, muttering the counterspells he knew to try and get past, growing more and more frustrated by the second.  

He was getting nowhere, and drawing attention to himself.  Frustrated, he grabbed his bag with one hand and turned on his heel to leave.  

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

he seemed to understand what she was saying all the same, heavy feet dragging across wood to sit on his bed. she let out a soft sigh as he lifted her head gently, placing it softly on his lap. her eyes remained closed for some time, both from exhaustion and having been content with having him stroke her temple in a comforting gesturing. her breathing slowed and she felt calmer with just his presence. he had a way of evoking that feeling  in her, when they weren’t at each other’s throats. “thank you..” she mumbled quietly, relaxing into his touch. her body still ached something awful and her limbs felt heavy, but as time went on, she felt more like herself and less like someone on the brink of death.

the two of them sat in content silence for a while. vic wasn’t sure if she’d drifted off again or not, but at some point, sev’s hand had stopped moving against her skin and she finally opened her eyes to look up at him. the circles under his eyes were dark. he looked likely just as exhausted and drained as she was. “sev,” she ran a hand across his to get his attention, “lay down.” it wasn’t a request, and the hand that had been caressing his pulled him gently down so that he was laying next to her and she used what little energy she had to bring her head up to lay against his chest. “complain about it tomorrow,” she remarked, pulling him a little closer and nuzzling against the fabric of his shirt. she could feel him about to say something, to likely challenge her, but she interrupted him with a groan. “just shut up and hold me, sev.”

_

They sat there for what seemed like forever, as if they had carved their own pocket of the universe outside of time.  She relaxed against him and he felt a small smile on his face.  It was soft, calm.  An expression he hadn’t had for years.  He felt himself opening up, just the faintest shift that was already radically changing the trajectory of his life, his goals, his dreams.  The thought frightened a part of him, and he almost pushed away even physically.  He hadn’t dared to let himself think of anyone like this since his years at school.  The sensible thing, he told himself again, would be to firmly replace the walls he had built around himself and focus once more on survival.  

But a small, cold part that he had shoved away deep inside himself was coming back to life.  It called out like a child within him, begging for the warmth it felt from the girl who spoke in words he didn’t know.  He got flashes of the future, of the two of them spending time like this without the threat of cursed daggers or poisoned drinks.  Just waking up to be able to stroke her hair like this...

While he was lost in thought he must have stopped moving, because suddenly her hand was stroking his, and she was tugging him towards her, telling him to lay down.  He began to protest but she groaned, and she told him to hold her.  He thought briefly what Paris would think if he returned and saw them this way, tangled in an exhausted mass of limbs on his bed in his dingy little flat.  Instead of protesting with words, he shifted to slip his arm under her.  

His position was nothing short of awkward.  He most certainly had never held anyone, not this way, and he suddenly became painfully aware of how gangly his limbs felt.  They weren’t the wildly long and thin appendages they had been in his youth, but they felt too long to fit with another in this single bed.  As he nestled his own head more comfortably in his pillow, he felt his body grow heavy, sinking closer to sleep.  

Maybe that’s why his inhibitions dropped for just a moment, and he let the small part of himself that craved this closeness with another have just a bit more.  Leaning a bit forward, he gently kissed the top of Victoria’s head, near her hairline.  It was rash and too intimate for the man who had worked the past 5 years to untangle himself from everyone, but the small part of him came alive, shooting warm happiness throughout his body.  “I’m glad you’re ok.”  

[prince-in-name-alone]

emotions  &  feelings.

irritated

conflicted

cautious

superior 

colours.

black

silver

grey

brown

scents.

potions ingredients

musty rooms

metallic tang

floral notes

clothing.

untailored

stained

second-hand

formerly expensive

objects.

cauldron

texts

handkerchief

wand

vices   &   bad habits.

dark magic

deception

condemnation

body language.

hunched shoulders

derisive sneer

persistent gaze

aesthetics.

underground lair

dark academia

secrecy and whispers

poor man in a rich world

denial of feelings

[teddywestside]

[xkilljxy-deactivated20240717]

@fiddler-crabbe @xavecamour @mollymirror

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

“You look far more suspicious, directing your anger at me like that.” Paris hadn’t failed to notice Severus’ tightened jaw and stiff shoulders. He side eyed him, figuring he was considering him careless for letting Victoria become trapped inside the Ministry. He had been panicked at first, though his sources had quickly reassured him that the Death Chambers were in one piece. The door had just been blocked by falling debris. “If you’re concerned about my dear cousin, she’s fine. I have someone working on getting her out safely. I did warn her multiple times to not attend work, but she hasn’t been herself since being poisoned.”

_

“I’m not the one dancing about as if proud of the situation, Mr. Avery.  At least I have the ability to appear as if I’m surprised and concerned.”  Truly, Severus didn’t have to try too hard to appear that way, but Paris would never know that.  He scowled as Paris continued to appear unbothered, the subtle dig at the poisoning incident causing a bubbling fury to rise within him.  He no longer cared about testing his luck, his arms crossed in front of him as he once again surveyed the destruction in front of them. “You know, I can’t help but find myself wondering why I would waste my time saving her life when you don’t seem to have worked very hard to keep her from the ministry today.  Seems to me if she hasn’t been herself it would be up to her family and leader to make sure she was protected, but perhaps I have misunderstood your relationship.”  

[prince-in-name-alone]

spellbxnd​:

★ –

the pain was similar to what she imagined being set alight would feel like. burning, searing, white hot pain. she curled in on herself further, her hands curling into fists against his bed sheets. trust me. breathe. she heard him speak nearby, and felt glass being pressed to her lips. she let the cool liquid pour down her throat; it wasn’t enough to soothe the burning, but she immediately felt.. more content with the pain, somehow.

she wasn’t sure how much time had passed, having been far too delirious to be aware of much else other than the pain. she tossed and turned while severus worked, her eyes remaining squeezed tightly shut the entire time. she felt a dull ache start to radiate through her cheeks from how hard she was clenching her teeth. eventually, he was at her side again, offering her another potion. this time, it worked instantaneously. the fire within her settled and though it didn’t take away the pain completely, it was a welcome change compared to the agony she’d been experiencing only moments before. the potion lulled her into a light sleep and she drifted in and out for the next few hours, her body finally calming and beginning to rest and recover.

light peeking through the window awoke her. her vision was blurred and she was still relatively delirious, but was able to piece together where she was. the flat was familiar, and flashes of the night came back to her. hands entwined, the smell of brewing potions, the hazy sight of a man standing over a cauldron…

severus.

her eyes found him asleep at his table and she just… admired him for a moment. he looked relaxed, like he was at peace after healing her. “severus..” she called for him, his eyes slowly peeling open to look at her. she extended a shaky hand, gesturing for him to come to bed. “restez avec moi…” she was far too tired and sore to speak in english, let alone overthink her request.  she just wanted him to hold her.

_

He wasn’t sure how long he had been sleeping.  It felt as if he hadn’t slept much at all, the weight of the night, the extreme emotions of thankfulness at the party to be on speaking terms with Victoria again shattered by the intensity of trying to heal her from some mystery poison probably intended for him.  

When he first opened his eyes the sun was cascading into the room, beams of light falling through the crack in his blinds towards her golden hair.  She looked as if she, herself were glowing.  Her hand extended with grace even as it shook from the effort.  She called to him and he lifted his head, which felt twice as heavy with the lack of sleep.

“I don’t speak French, Victoria.” He mumbled, but he heaved himself up all the same, moving to the bed.  Looking at her, she seemed to be ok, her breathing steady, if still a bit heavy, and able to move on her own.  Softly, he reached down, lifting up her head and sitting it back down on his lap once he’d taken a seat at the head of his bed.  

He sat there quietly for a moment, leaning against the wall beside his bed, his shoulder still stiff.  His eyes looked down to her hair.  It was becoming a mess, the curls tangled together in all the writhing around today .  Not wanting to entangle her hair further, he lightly stroked her temple, remembering back in his early childhood, the few times his mother had comforted him when he had nightmares.  If he had been someone else, he might have hummed some sort of lullaby, but he sat in silence instead, watching her with persistent, if heavy, eyes.