DAMNIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING CONFESSING TO YOUR CRIME ON THE INTERNET?!
Hereâs what you need to do.
Wash the knife in bleach and throw it in a sewer grate across town or a large local body of water.
Smash the teeth out of the head and collect them all, then grind the teeth into dust (IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION THAN WHERE YOU STAY) and dispose of them.
Cut off the fingers and strip the flesh from the bone. Feed the flesh to an animal or go all Hannibal on it and consume it yourself.
Now comes the tricky part.
Youâre going to want to get a hold of a ridiculous amount of saran wrap, a large plastic sheet, some garbage bags, a power tool that can dismember a body (pay in cash and buy it from a store outside of your city/town), a change of clothes, and a metric fuck-ton of cleaning supplies.
Roll the body on top of the plastic sheet and dismember it. (Youâre going to want to do this in a fairly clear, easy to clean area), blood will spurt out of that body insanely so you better have a good stomach. Â
After youâve got all the pieces nice and transportable, wrap them up in the saran wrap and stuff them in the garbage bags along with the clothes you were wearing when you murdered the victim and dismembered them.
Now, drive to the nearest auto salvage yard and throw the body and the clothes youâre wearing) in the trunk on top of a spare tire or any nearby one you can find, throw a heavy fuelant on top (either a hefty amount of gasoline or some napalm [gasoline mixed evenly with cat litter or orange juice concentrate]). Punch out a tail light, ignite the body, close the trunk, and get home.
Scrub until you canât anymore and then fucking do it more. If you think youâre being too careful, youâre not.
Finally find a GROUP of friends (people who understand your murderous tendencies), and form a solid alibi and stick to itâŠ
Oh, and delete your tumblr.
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