Prince of the castle

i think I lost my crown again

[princely4ever]

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Welcome

Hello loyal subjects, tis I, the prince of the castle. This account is where I shall bestow my musings onto the world. My court is open to all that are not consumed by disdain.

You may refer to me by my title but I shant reveal my identity to the world. I enjoy the air of mystery it brings to me. I will sayeth that I am of age (18 to be exact) but I seldom participate in provocative acts on the internet.

Anywho I have no real goal for this account but if thou art fortunate enough to stumble upon this court, feel free to interact. I might not follow back because then I risk leaking my true nature (aka main blog) but fret not, I am very willing to make allies. Although I am a bit shy

[lavenderpr1nce]

Guards! GUARDS! This fiend has made an attempt on my life! Take it to the dungeons immediately!

*It's a singular earwig. On the ground. Blocking the exit to the bathroom*

[toybox-prince]

Adopt don't shop!!

i know battleworn knights get a bad rep as they often come with trauma and can be unpredictable or sometimes (very rarely) dangerous if you aren't careful. but if you take the time to be kind and meet them where they are they become the best vassals, experienced in combat and fiercely protective. I've never had a more loyal and affectionate knight than my knight I adopted from the kingdom's battalion.

[princely4ever]

I blew my nose on a visiting king's cape and now he's threatening my head. Do you guys think he's mad at me

[princely4ever]

Fuck my foolish princely life

[princely4ever]

gives you cigarette that turns you gay

Woawh this is such an intriguing invention is it edible

[princely4ever]

do you ever get tired of carrying all that sexiness on your back

No because I make my knight carry it instead duh

[princely4ever]

I snuck into the court wizard's tower and drank this pink looking drink in a vial cause i thought it was juice. Now I'm a ferret. It's okay though cause my knight is carrying me around everywhere. He's trying to fix it but I kind of like being a ferret

[a-knight-errant]

running full pelt back to the tower

with the ferret prince clutched in my hands

Please please please @geminimeowdust I desperately require your assistance! Hello hello, are you there!?

[geminimeowdust]

*chuckling at your dismay*

I have good news and bad news.

Good news: it’s not permanent.

Bad news: if he drank what I think he drank, I can’t speed that up. It’ll be 4-7 days.

Got a good cover story? And enough ferret food?

I mean, his highness looks content.

[a-knight-errant]

Four to seven DAYS?

sinks to knees in despair

gazes hollowly at the gamboling ferret

What cover story could I possibly -

Oh. Well maybe. Hm. Perhaps? I mean, he's about the right age for it. Four to seven days is pushing it, but it would indicate stamina. The king would probably be proud. Yeah, yeah! This could work.

stands up, cradling ferret carefully

Squire, ready my horse. I must go into the city in search of an elegant and sophisticated lady of the night.

No, of course not for me! For the fucking ferret!

[princely4ever]

Huh whuh wha. What's happening. Where are we going. Who's the lady? Am I making new friends? Can I have cake first.

And i don't know why you're so devastated knight, im sure my father will understand my new lifes goal. To be a ferret. Squeak.

[a-knight-errant]

My prince,

striding along, sighing

a ferret is an obligate carnivore. Were I to give you cake it would likely register as very unpleasant to your transformed palate. And even if you liked it, it would certainly be very bad for your little body. There is no use begging. I simply cannot conscience -

stops dead and gazes into cupped palms

Oh. Good lord, he's gone right off to sleep.

tries to look annoyed but face softens in spite of himself

drapes ferret gently around his neck and lowers his voice

Alright squire, come on. We've a prince's needs to serve, same as always. Even if he is a bloody ferret.

[princely4ever]

Yawn I am awake once again. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Art we there yet? How much longer is it going to take? Can I bite your squire? If I can't eat cake then what CAN I eat? Can I eat squires?

I don't think i want to stay a ferret if I can't eat cake. I like cake. Who's the lady we're meeting anyway?

Also...are we there yet.

[princely4ever]

I snuck into the court wizard's tower and drank this pink looking drink in a vial cause i thought it was juice. Now I'm a ferret. It's okay though cause my knight is carrying me around everywhere. He's trying to fix it but I kind of like being a ferret

[a-knight-errant]

running full pelt back to the tower

with the ferret prince clutched in my hands

Please please please @geminimeowdust I desperately require your assistance! Hello hello, are you there!?

[geminimeowdust]

*chuckling at your dismay*

I have good news and bad news.

Good news: it’s not permanent.

Bad news: if he drank what I think he drank, I can’t speed that up. It’ll be 4-7 days.

Got a good cover story? And enough ferret food?

I mean, his highness looks content.

[a-knight-errant]

Four to seven DAYS?

sinks to knees in despair

gazes hollowly at the gamboling ferret

What cover story could I possibly -

Oh. Well maybe. Hm. Perhaps? I mean, he's about the right age for it. Four to seven days is pushing it, but it would indicate stamina. The king would probably be proud. Yeah, yeah! This could work.

stands up, cradling ferret carefully

Squire, ready my horse. I must go into the city in search of an elegant and sophisticated lady of the night.

No, of course not for me! For the fucking ferret!

[princely4ever]

Huh whuh wha. What's happening. Where are we going. Who's the lady? Am I making new friends? Can I have cake first.

And i don't know why you're so devastated knight, im sure my father will understand my new lifes goal. To be a ferret. Squeak.

[princely4ever]

I snuck into the court wizard's tower and drank this pink looking drink in a vial cause i thought it was juice. Now I'm a ferret. It's okay though cause my knight is carrying me around everywhere. He's trying to fix it but I kind of like being a ferret

[princely4ever]

My knight forbids me from eating sweets strangers give me. Jokes on him I'm sneaking out tonight to meet with this man who promised me delicious honey cakes. He's wearing a strange black cloak and has a sinister energy but I'm sure it's fine

[princely4ever]

Update: i went to meet the guy and he didn't give me any honey cakes but he did mumble some weird words into my ear and then I got sleepy and decided to take a little nap on the floor. I just woke up and I'm in some dark dungeon and the guy is going on and on about "taking over the kingdom" and "being the king the people deserve." And he's still not given me my honey cakes! I'm starting to think this guy might've been lying about having them in the first place

[byjove]

knights can be created by other knights like vampires except instead of biting them they wack them on the shoulders with swords

[laceration-d0ll]

YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE

[hamlet-the-dane-official]

where are you all getting these loyal knights who will kneel at your feet and tenderly hold your hand and kill your villainous uncles for you...?

[willjulep]

Haha yeah, I found my knight on the field of battle, betrayed by his liege and begging for death. It took a lot of time and patience, and there were quite a few setbacks, but just last week, I finally got him to eat out of my hand. But like, I don't judge anyone with a knight of pedigree. It's super cool that you have all his lineage papers and that generations of inbreeding have instilled him with all the desirable traits of a purebred. You can't even tell that his family used their political weight to secure him a place in your service, and the way he can't take a full breath is actually kind of charming.

[earl-of-cumberland]

Thou are

WHO FUCKING SAID THAT

grabs slipper off foot and glares around the room

[princely4ever]

I wonder who that was hm how curious well guess we'll never know

[earl-of-cumberland]

AHA! MEN SEIZE HIM.

Bring him to my study, this will be a private matter. The disciplining of princes cannot take place before the gaze of those they are destined to someday rule.

You may place him here, over my lap. You had better bind him; he is not overly strong but I have known him to be quite the wriggler. Yes, wrists down on that side, knees down on the other. That is splendid. You may leave us.

There. Now I have both hands free, and both slippers at my disposal. While Your Highness has an insolent tongue and a pert bottom, both of which clearly require my attention.

Now. Let us hear you say it, Your Highness.

I am.

He is.

She is.

They are.

And - thou...?

[princely4ever]

I know when I've been defeated sigh...I guess I have no choice.

Thou....art

[princely4ever]

Lamb motif prince deer motif prince ok I am koala motif prince. All i do all day is eat and sleep. My brain is as smooth as marble and as small as a pebble. I do not know one plus one I do not know what taxes are. I repeatedly fall off my throne and do not eat things unless they are covered in powdered sugar. I dislike leaves though. They taste bad