[Inspired by this exchange]
The Prince gazed at himself in the mirror as his servant secured the straps of his gambeson, face carefully neutral. The servant turned, reaching for the maile that lay ready beside —
The servant paused, "My Lord?"
"I wish to pray for victory. Leave me to my solitude. I shall summon you when I am ready to resume."
"Of course, your Highness."
The servant dipped a quick bow before exiting the tent, the heavy canvas parting and allowing the cacophonous sounds of the camp's preparations to penetrate within. The fabric fell back into place and, once more, all was muffled. Wrapped in this temporary cocoon, the Prince released a sigh and allowed himself to sit on the edge of his cot, head in his hands.
His shoulders slumped and he blew out a long slow breath. He ran trembling fingers along his scalp, before gazing upward at the canopy above him, wishing he could gaze upon the serenity of the stars instead.
It was mere hours 'till dawn and then… war.
It would not be the first time the Prince led his men against opposing forces, but the prospect never seemed to get easier. Beyond consulting with his generals and tacticians to ensure they were prepared and could hopefully spare the lives of as many in their number as possible, the Prince had another task: to show no fear. His purpose, above all else, was to project an air of such complete and controlled confidence that it would inspire his men on to victory and convince them that it was worthy and just to fight in service of The Crown. There could be no cracks, no stutters or stumbles. He must stare unflinchingly into the face of Death and lead these men forward, many of them to their doom.
He thought back to the days of his youth, to the sparring lessons he and his brother — now, the King — had been forced to take, and how often they would try to weasel out of practice with one of myriad excuses. How the Captain of their father's guard would furrow his brow and frown before launching into another lecture about the importance of discipline and how these lessons were to ensure the safety of the kingdom by making sure that the future heirs knew the business end of a sword from the scabbard.
But there had only ever been one Heir in truth, and he now sat upon the throne in the Capital with his Queen and his own heirs. Sometimes the Prince considered that he should be grateful to still draw breath at all; certainly he'd heard of the redundant brothers of other kings meeting with sudden and unfortunate accidents after their elder's ascension or finding themselves executed for conspiracy against the Crown.
It was difficult to feel terribly grateful though when he'd spent the better part of his nephew's lives on the battlefield. It felt as though rather than directly eliminate the competition to the young Crown Prince's seat, the Council of Ministers would just as soon allow their enemies to solve the problem for them. And yet… the Prince still lived. Though it had been a close thing on a number of occasions, the Prince somehow managed to claw his way through to a new dawn again and again.
He was careful not to inspire too much loyalty with the men, to allow himself to be seen as some manner of hero to rival the throne. Likewise, he carefully avoided becoming too familiar with the nobles in the scant times he returned to Court, lest it be said that he was attempting to win supporters in an imagined play for power. No, he instead had spent these past years teetering on the knife's edge: delicately balancing every moment, every interaction, every expression. He was diligent and thorough in his reports. He took no lovers amongst the women of the camp, or towns the army marched through, or any lovers at all in truth.
He did not carouse with his men, taking most meals in the privacy of his quarters or during tactical discussions with the generals. He was precise and calculated in his meting out of praise, careful to never appear to favor any one of his soldiers over the others, while still rewarding those who performed their duties admirably and encouraging overall morale. He must always be separate, always apart. He must allow no space for suspicion or doubt to take root.
Only in these quiet stolen moments could he ease the white knuckled grip he had on his meticulously constructed mask. Only here, alone, could he be himself. Not The Prince, but merely a man, frightened and weary before the break of a dawn which could be his last.