I'm in another castle :/ @princess-distressed - Tumblr Blog

come hither, traveler! what brings you to my palace? In order to speak to your highness, thou shalt be:

-of a mature age!

-chivalrous, or playfully naughty at the worst!

-glad to swear your fealty!

And yes, you may send me messages of salacious intent... I am not opposed ♥️

#princess #princess posting #gimmick blog #princess blog #princess posts #medieval posting #pinned post

the King's newest knight is called sir detective and he uses a big magnifying glass as a weapon. & he fucking sucks & everyone is hoping someone bashes his head in through his stupid deerstalker helmet

cafandnaps

So sick of the court physician telling me I need to be leached for every little ailment. Why would my cramps require leaching? I’m already losing blood!

veryberryskye

i can hardly see why anyone would deny a present from a princess. it would practically be treason against the kingdom. you’d be admitting to a crime against the crown. you’d probably be executed, or staring at the walls of a dungeon for the rest of your days. you don’t want that do you? of course you don’t. you’ll gladly accept anything i give to you, because you have no right to say no. so don’t even try to put those vegetables back on my freaking plate

jester-of-hearts

if a jester were to hypothetically have lewd polaroids of them in increasingly revealing positions would any knights or royalty or others collect them like trading cards? honest answers only, must swear on thine honor or house's crest.

jester-of-hearts

real court of hearts checks reblogs ♥︎

jester-of-hearts

real court of hearts checks reblogs ♥︎

jester-of-hearts

I saw your selfies just as I was about to make a page of risky doodles .. I hope you don't mind the very rough drawing! I might clean it up soon, but it will never compare to the real thing. dear jester, you are truly lovely 🩷

@princess-distressed

my goodness, to be a muse in such a way is of the highest honor, darling. oh, this made my heart soar! thank you, a million thank yous. it's so beautiful ♥︎

jester-of-hearts

i think everyone should be good courtiers and check the reblogs ♥︎

#ohhghhhghhhh my god oh my #the thighs. The #jjesus

jester-of-hearts

i think everyone should be good courtiers and check the reblogs ♥︎

jester-of-hearts

oh yeah? well fuck you and the knight you rode in on

jester-of-hearts

conversation I had with my partner today. blushes and looks away

my blog is @princess-distressed , can't send asks from sideblogs tho. anyway how do you feel about princesses with big green eyes and many scandalous things to say

oh my! this is down right adorable, darling. it makes me very very happy to know that you enjoy my blog so much ♥︎