The Devil's Reject

Hi I read a lot write and paint and play violin work at an art gallery I don't have a life plan too young to be blamed but old enough to know better

[keepngoing-deactivated20211029]

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

Mic drop

[kylesquips]

That dril tweet thats like “I sucked my own dick and got poisoned” is really funny to me because thats a thing that actually happened to me lmao

[rotpuppy]

what happened kyle

[kylesquips]

I typed out a whole long thing but im scared that this information is too much for anyone to handle

[kylesquips]

I will tell all of you the story after I take a nap cause I gotta be somewhere soon and havent slept yet

[kylesquips]

Alright fuck it . So Id say basically anyone with a dick has tried to suck their own dick at least once in their life. Some time ago I found out that I was one of the few people on this planet that actually can. So one night a long time ago I was cranking my hog, and I was using this vaseline brand lotion and eventually I got bored of that and decided I wanted to up the ante and suck my own dick. So after wiping off some of the excess lotion on my hands, I put my dick in my mouth and realize that it tastes a little weird, probably from some of the lotion on my dick but I didnt really pay it any mind because it didnt taste bad really and I figured that since most of the lotion already got absorbed into my dick skin that I probably was gonna be fine. Oh how wrong I was. Not too long after I finish, I get very hot, my vision goes blurry and my heart rate shoots through the god damn roof. Everything in my body just felt very very wrong. So In the middle of the night, I told my mom I was sick (omitting the fact that it was from accidentally eating lotion that I had sucked off my own dick) and she for some reason focused on my heart rate being fucked up and very rapid. I ended up seeing a heart specialist who made me wear a heart monitor for a month so they could monitor any irregularities and all the while I just knew that it was from the fucking lotion I ate and I just could never ever tell anyone, not the fucking doctor and especially not my mom what really happened. That I got poisoned from sucking my own dick

[unfortunately-awake]

[socialpsychopathblr]

[creepinitcute]

ig @ batdoll_x

[thatlove]

[thepalaceofsans-souci]

hey i know it´s easy to dismiss Oscar Wilde as a careless dandy but he was Irish, socialist and radically gay in Victorian England and when he says stuff like “morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike” it´s a highly political stance

[venividipikachi]

i keep this quote on my bedroom wall so i dont forget about it. why did we let ted cruz forget about this anyways? why didnt we, as a society, make more fuss about this quote? im haunted by it daily since tedward cruz looks down upon me every night calling himself a rat fucker and NO ONE CARED we just let him SAY IT

[gabriellaglamour215]

Back fat, acne, cellulite, wrinkles, varicose veins, body hair, moles, warts, wild hair, flat hair, no hair, THESE ARE NOT FLAWS. They’re normal regular REAL BODY SHIT. YOU SLAY ABSO-fucking-lutely ANYWAY. You’re amazing, you’re worthy. 👑👑👑👑

[respectfulmemes]

[unflatteringcatselfies]

The face my cat Vos made when I had to wash his paws because he threw up on them vs the face my cat helex made when I kept taking away the carrots I was eating and he was sniffing

[ponzischemes]

the faster you learn to say ‘this is hideous, i love it’ about an item of clothing and genuinely mean it, the faster no one can take away your happiness about your clothes because they can be like ‘what the fuck are you wearing’ and the only answer you can give is a gleeful ‘i KNOW isn’t it HIDEOUS!’

[autismgod-deactivated20250912]

And once you’ve accomplished this, you can do this with everything. My clothes? ugly. My furniture? Tacky. My car? hideous!

Bring the hideous into your entire life and experience the true zen of not giving a fuck

[h0odrich]

lmfao

[blackgayze]

Nothing but respect for my president

[notgoodatparties]

Look at my delicious homemade spinach soup that is making my skin glow

[xoellle-deactivated20190624]

the single greatest piece of artwork I’ve ever laid eyes on

[ahsjdkflgl]

there’s something really cute about how girls have a habit of trying to make anything difficult into a pleasant experience. like my new roommates just planned to get together to discuss contracts, but immediately suggested we do it with movies and nail-painting and chocolate. my friends and i used to dress up and do fun makeup for our exams. whenever my mom took me to doctors appointments when i was a kid, she’d brush my hair and put it up with lots of cute clips. girls are always trying to make things softer, or reduce the everyday stress in life. it’s such a nice way to be.