consider, if you will: platonic rest-of-our-very-long-life partners magnus and lucretia

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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@princess-rosalina
consider, if you will: platonic rest-of-our-very-long-life partners magnus and lucretia
A compilation of owos
you know what?
you know what?
ya know fuckin w h a t ?
screw angst, give me post s&s taako and lucretia friendship wholesomeness
he doesn’t forgive her. he doesn’t have to forgive her. but not forgiving her doesn’t erase a century of friendship, and so when he bumps into lucretia while sneaking into the kitchen at 3 am, he goes to turn away, but then he notices that her cheeks are bulging with pilfered cookies from the pantry, and that she’s hunched over like some awful little gremlin despite being one of the most powerful people on the planet, and so when she, with wide eyes, through a mouthful of cookies, says, “we’ll never speak of this again”, taako can’t help but bust out laughing
give me them growing closer again. give me taako egging creesh on to do increasingly stupid shit in front of magnus, and them both wearing matching shit eating grins as he tries to convince carey of what happened, to no avail
give me lup inviting all the birds over for candlenights, and taako bitching about it for show and clenching his teeth in private but still making a favourite dish of each of the birds, including lucretia
give me taako accidentally overseeing lucretia crying at her desk one night, because ten years of constant stress and anxiety and guilt, so much guilt don’t just go away like that, and give me taako quietly slipping a plate of macaroons under her door when she finally falls asleep
give me lucretia braving the fantasy costco to barter for ingredients that match the ones taako’s been bitching about not being able to find for-fuckin-ever and leaving them for him to find alongside a note in her neat, lovely handwriting that simply says “hope they’re fresh enough”
give me taako and lucretia having wizard duels. give me taako and lucretia racing battlewagons off the edge of the moon base. give me taako and lucretia goofing off and doing the silly shit that they always wanted to do, but never could.
give me taako and lucretia whose relationship is wounded, yes, but will scab over and eventually heal in a new form. the scar will always be there, but the injury will fade with time, and with work.
give me taako and lucretia who are friends
*extends arm to help you on the edge of a cliff but my hand is covered in these, sending you plummeting to your death*
early game be like
ye awaken with a minty butthole
how do ye proceed
Look butthole
ye spread ye cheeks to the nearest mirror. inside ye butthole is a bottle of DR. BRONNER'S PEPPERMINT SOAP
Take soap
ye attempteth to take ye soap out of ye butthole but ye buttholds fast
Look room
ye look around ye room. this is where ye sleep on a stinky matress without a bedframe or sheet to be found. on ye wall ye sees ye HUNKY FIRECHUNKS CALENDAR (2015), ye chest o'drawers has a record player with FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS on the spindle, ye night stand has a small bottle of DR. BRONNER'S BUTTHOLE RELEASE cream. doors to ye bathroom and ye kitchen are both on ye north wall.
Use record player use record player
ye listen to the entirety of FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS, playing THE CHAIN four times in a row, forgetting about ye minty butthole problems.
Look calendar
Ye narrator tires of using pseudo old timey speech and she suddenly abandons it. The HUNKY FIRECHUNKS CALENDAR is flipped to JULY 2015, on it there is a HUNKY FIRELAD, insanely toned wearing nothing but a fire helmet and a jock strap, he is partially submerged in a giant bowl of chili. Between his legs he straddles a large firehose, clearly a penis metaphor. His eyes look seductive but somehow, impatient. Like he has an important meeting to get to, a meeting with your genitals, perhaps? Oh also I guess you circled JULY, 17TH, 2015 for some reason but whatever.
Go kitchen
It's your kitchen. On your refrigerator sits a goblin. On the walls are two sexy calendars - both from 2015, one is SPICY FIREFIGHTIN' LASSES and the other is AGENDER ARSONISTS, maybe you wished to give the firefighters a purpose by giving them fires to fight? After all, what's a sexy hero without a sexy sexy villain? You don't have a stove, stop asking about the stove.
Hug goblin
You embrace the goblin. The goblin, touch starved, begins to cry on your shoulder.
me bathing my dog: ohhhhh does she like the water!!! is it waaarrrm!!! ooooo shes gonna be so cleeeaaaan shes a clean little goorrrl gonna smell so goooood!!!!!
my dog in the tub looking like a sad wet rat:
someone: *raises their voice*
me: death is so close i can practically taste it
Jenna’s Claire’s Makeover
+ Bonus:
Chaotic good
justin are you ok