So I binged all of Heartstopper the day it dropped and just finished watching the whole thing again, and I don’t know if anyone has talked about this already, but I want to talk about it, so. I’ve never seen a closeted queer character be treated with as much respect as Nick is in this show.
Time and time again closeted queer characters have their being in the closet treated as them being ashamed, inauthentic, or cowardly. A lot of times, them being in the closet is painted as a burden on their out partner or correlated with them being a shitty partner. Maybe I’m wrong and there’s tons of shows that don’t portray closeted characters in this way, but it’s the only way I’ve ever seen them written.
Early on in Heartstopper, I was bracing myself for more of the same. It opened with Ben as the shitty closeted partner to openly (albeit against his will) gay Charlie, and while emphasis was placed on the issue being Ben treating Charlie poorly and not him being in the closet, I was worried, especially when there’s later a clear comparison drawn between Ben and Nick both wanting to keep the relationship a secret. I was really, really hoping the narrative wasn’t going to demonize Nick for being in the closet, but I was keeping my expectations low.
And then the show did the exact opposite of everything I’m used to. A few examples off the top of my head in no particular order:
Charlie from the beginning clarifying Nick is nothing like Ben when Nick looks guilty about the commonality
Tara telling Nick he shouldn’t come out before he’s ready
Nick apologizing for pulling back from a kiss when someone bikes by and Charlie telling him not to be sorry
Charlie continuously checking in that Nick is telling people about them because he wants to and not because he feels pressured to
Charlie being conscious of PDA with Nick to make him comfortable
Tao telling Nick Charlie would never force him to come out and shouldn’t
Nick talking to Charlie about possibly being bisexual before he’s sure and Charlie being supportive of that
Nick coming out entirely of his own accord with people he trusts solely because he feels comfortable
No big or public coming out at the end to solidify or validate the relationship, no guilting or shaming Nick for not telling people yet, no framing like Nick being closeted is burdening Charlie, no framing like Nick wasn’t being true to himself by not being out and proud
AND all of this was accompanied by giving a balanced view of coming out from different perspectives, such as how Tara feels unprepared and overwhelmed by the ramifications of coming out. The show acknowledges both how coming out on one’s own terms can feel really good and how there’s also pitfalls to be considered. The narrative treats Nick figuring things out, accepting his identity, and slowly coming out as as valid as Tara and Darcy being openly queer to their whole school.
I’ve never seen a closeted queer character be validated like this and it almost made me cry. Heartstopper represented coming out in all of its nuance and complexity, and watching Charlie be completely and unwaveringly supportive of Nick’s journey with self-discovery and coming out really got to me. There’s a strong impression left that Nick is able to feel comfortable and happy coming out specifically because he was given so much space and support to figure things out and come out at his own pace, to who he decided, entirely because he wanted to and thought it was the best decision for him.
In the first episode, this show said “Being in the closet is okay–what’s important is how you treat people,” and it stuck to it, because Nick is in the closet, but he’s also openly friends with Charlie, he sticks up for him, he’s physically affectionate, he looks out for his feelings, he’s patient, he gives genuine apologies when he’s screwed up, he tells Charlie exactly how much he means to him.
So many movies and shows give teenagers the impression they need to know who they are and come out asap in order to live truly as themselves, that they need to be out in order to be good enough to date someone who’s out. Heartstopper called bullshit on that and instead sent the message that self-discovery and coming out is difficult and complex and wonderful and can happen in any timeframe. I’m an adult with years of experience coming out, but I’m so so glad and grateful that this generation of teens gets queer content targeted at them that validates their journey no matter what it looks like, where they are in it, or how long it takes.
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
titsay
