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An indie multi-muse fandomless supernatural OC role play blog.

[princessofshadow-archived]

Moving Blogs

For the past few months or so my mental health has been on a decline and part of it is due to the fact that I want to change things on this blog. It’s just difficult to do when I have almost 13,000 posts and can’t easily go back and change things. Instead of continuing o suffer, I’m going to start fresh on a brand new blog. 

This blog will still be around temporarily, but only so I can find headcanons and such that I want to transfer over to the new blog. After that, it’ll be deleted so feel free to unfollow this blog.

On the new blog a couple things are going to change:

I’m going back to only have 3 muses, aka Yashira, Atticus, and Zane. Everyone else will still be available for interaction but only upon request. Like Alex and Angela are now. 

I’m dropping all of my current threads and starting fresh. As of now, our muses have never met before unless you discuss it with me first.

If you’ve recently posted a starter for me and I haven’t replied yet, feel free to tag the new blog instead and I’ll reply to it.

You can now find me at @mystic-muses  

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Considering this conversation keeps happening, Zane feels like they aren’t trying hard enough. They really didn’t think he only wanted sex from them, but then something would happen and they’d worry that Cas wasn’t getting enough. They wished it would stop happening, but they couldn’t control their anxiety any more than Cas could fall out of love with the Prince.

They look up as Cas starts explaining his feelings, feeling even guiltier the more he speaks. They didn’t want to make him feel like that and they hated that they were. Their stupid anxiety was always causing problems and they wished it would just go away. They didn’t really foresee that happening any time soon though.

“I’m sorry,” they say, looking away as he accuses them of being like the people who judged him. “I don’t - that’s not,” those accursed tears are coming back and they wished they’d stop. Why did they always end up crying during conversations like this? They didn’t want it to seem like they were trying to manipulate him into forgiving them, but the tears probably made it seem like they were.

“I don’t think that and I never have.” Atticus and Yashira slept around a lot as well, but Zane had never judged them for it, though it had hurt a little when they were still hopelessly in love with Atticus. “I just,” they take a deep breath and slowly release it to try and keep themself from crying or stuttering. “Sometimes something happens - I’ll walk in on you like this or we’ll just being kissing and you’ll slide your hand down my hip or something - and I feel like I’m depriving you of something you want. Not need, want.”

“I know you don’t really think that.” Cas says. He brushes Zane’s hair back from their face again. It always seems to fall over their face when they cry. “But that’s why I might seem hurt. Not because you’ve turned down sex. Because people think I need it.”

He kisses Zane’s hair, not sure how to make this better and be completely honest. “You’re not depriving me of anything. I like touching you and I want to pleasure you, but there are other ways to do that. Its my first time being with someone who isn’t into sex so I need to adjust some perceptions. If making you hot chocolate gives you as much pleasure as a blow job could then I’m content just doing that. If I want an orgasm then I’m content using my hand. We don’t need to have sex. We don’t ever need to have sex. I’m as happy as I could be with out sex, as long as I’m with you.”

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane glances up as Cas brushes their hair back again, blue eyes watery with barely suppressed tears. They look down, closing their eyes as the tears spill over again. They didn’t like making him feel bad, and they didn’t want to keep feeling like they were depriving him of something, but they couldn’t exactly make their anxiety just go away either. Anxiety didn’t work like that.

“I don’t... I don’t mean to-to feel like this,” they mumble. They’ve already said that, but they felt like it needed to be repeated. “I just - I don’t,” they bring a hand up to wipe their eyes. “I don’t kn-know how to-to do this. People a-always seem to talk a-about sex as the b-be all end all of a relationship, but I don’t... I don’t think I r-really want that.” It was hard to explain. They loved him and sometimes liked when things got a little sexual between them, but then they’d have an orgasm and wouldn’t be able to reciprocate and they’d feel guilty. “I-I just... I wish whenever w-we did something, you know, s-sexual, I could give you s-something in return. B-because that how this works... right?” They honestly didn’t know.

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane laughs as he spins them. God, they loved him so much. He was just an all-around delightful person and his kisses were wonderful. How did they ever get so lucky? They smile at the pictures, agreeing with Cas on how cute they were. “Of course we are,” they respond easily, kissing his cheek. “I believe we should. I’m sure she’ll love them.”

Cas smiles, pleased with how easily Zane agrees that they’re cute. One day maybe they’ll be able to say that about themself alone. Cas’ biggest wish for this wedding is that Zane can look at themself and agree that they are beautiful.

Cas types out a message asking which centrepiece is better and attaches the pictures before sending them off to Zane’s grandmother. “Think she’ll respond?” he asks.

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane laughs, resting their hand against Cas’ arm. “Of course not. If she does, it’ll just be to bitch at us for being abominations.” The words are spoken casually despite how horrible they sounded. They hope she won’t call since they’re enjoying Cas’ presence and planning for the wedding (even if it was annoyingly stressful) so they didn’t want her to ruin it.

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane’s breath hitches as Cas bites their neck. “Will you now?” If this was a sign of what his revenge would be, then they were looking forward to it.

They smile as admit to Cas liking their taste in centerpieces. They wanted to give him the sun and moon things he liked, but they also wanted everything to suit the theme colors they’d chosen. They laugh as he picks them up, enjoying the kiss all the more because it’s going to piss off their homophobic grandmother.

Cas gives Zane a spin and kisses them again before putting them down. The florist give a cheery smile as she hands back the phone. Cas wraps his arm around Zane’s shoulder so they can look at the photos together. “God lord, we’re cute.” Cas laughs. They were good photos, even if they were supposed to showcase the centrepieces, they looked good as couple photos. “Will we send this to your grandmother then?”

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane laughs as he spins them. God, they loved him so much. He was just an all-around delightful person and his kisses were wonderful. How did they ever get so lucky? They smile at the pictures, agreeing with Cas on how cute they were. “Of course we are,” they respond easily, kissing his cheek. “I believe we should. I’m sure she’ll love them.”

[enbysorcerer]

Sweet Tooth OC Tag Game

Rules: choose one of your OC’s to answer the sweets questions and tag five other people.

Tagged By:  No one. I just saw this on a couple different blogs and wanted to do it myself. Tagging: Idk. Anyone who feels like doing it?

Zane

Ice Cream: What Ice cream flavor tastes weird for you?

“Uh,” Zane has to take a moment to think about it considering they generally liked ice cream. “I dunno. Yashira likes this green tea flavored ice cream and I don’t hate it per se, but it’s not all that great either.”

Chocolate: Dark, Milk, Hazelnut, or coconut chocolate? Which of these do you prefer?

“All of the above?” Chocolate is one of their ultimate weaknesses so this was not an enjoyable question for them. “My absolute favorite is white chocolate, but of those… milk chocolate? I guess?”

Cookies: If you know how to bake and you had to introduce a new type of cookie to the world, what would it look like and what would you call it?

“I do know how to bake actually. I’ve never really made a brand new recipe though. I don’t even really know how to. I mostly just follow the recipes I already know. Well, occasionally I have to alter them a little so Atticus can eat them cause cookies tend to have a lot of sugar, but that’s about the extent of my experiments with food.”

Smoothies: Which of your friends will help you with your fruit stand/bar/cafe?

“I have a fruit stand now? Why would I ever even want to do that?” They shake their head. “I guess if I did do something like this Atticus and Yashira might help me. They’ll generally do anything I want as long as I ask nicely.” Asking nicely usually involved Zane giving the two of them Zane’s infamous sad puppy eyes and it had yet to fail against either of their best friends.

Cake: When’s your birthday? What’s the last birthday gift you received?

“It was a few days ago actually, on the twenty-ninth. Yashira got me some new clothes. Atticus got me a new fabric that I haven’t really used before so I’m looking forward to experimenting with it. I got a lot of art supplies as usual.”

Pies: Have you ever met your grandparents? if you did, what’s the sweetest thing they have given you that you still keep as a memento? (If not, would you like to meet them? What item would you give for them to treasure?)

Zane grimaces. “I don’t remember my paternal grandparents - haven’t seen them since before the divorce - but my maternal grandmother is the devil. I’ve never been able to please her and when she finds out I’m gay - never mind agender - she’s going to have even more reasons to dislike me.” They fully expected to be told they’re going to hell, but that really wasn’t anything new coming from her since she always found ways to criticize them.

Cinnamon Roll: List/name the people/person you would treasure for the rest of your life? (platonic and romantic, doesn’t matter)

“Oh, gosh. There’s so many.” They sigh, mentally going through the list of people they cared about. “At least I can list more than one. Uh, I don’t really have anyone romantically at the moment - it’s… kinda complicated actually - but I really don’t know where I’d be without Atticus and Yashira around and I don’t really want to know. 

“Alex and Angela, my surrogate parents, are also important to me. Amara’s… complicated, but I respect her so I guess she can go on the list. Uh, my cousin Illy. I think she’s the only person in my family who’s unconditionally accepted me exactly as I am.”

[princessofshadow-archived]

Edit: Over here, just about everyone from the Crossroads Diner would be on the list of people they’ll treasure forever. 

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane grins, bringing their arms up to rest against Cas’. “Oh, no, you wouldn’t. You love me too much to do something like that.” They hum as Cas kisses their neck only to wiggle around so they can kiss him fully. “Besides, you wouldn’t want all my hard work to go to waste,” they tease, giving him another kiss.

They smile, lacing their fingers together. “I like this plan.” They wander over to where the centerpieces were sitting and point to the ones they liked best, it was between two that they thought suited the theme of the wedding the best.

Cas growls playfully at Zane’s teasing and nuzzles their neck. “Just you wait,” he nips the pale skin, “I’ll get my revenge.” Cas’ revenge will involve just enough neck kisses to get Zane squirming.

Cas doesn’t mind the centrepieces Zane points out. They are actually really nice. Cas has to admit that Zane has better taste than him, even if it isn’t to his taste. His arm isn’t long enough to take pictures of the centrepieces with him and Zane kissing in the background so Cas needs to ask one of the florists to help. He lifts Zane bridal style and smooches them while the florist takes the picture.

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane’s breath hitches as Cas bites their neck. “Will you now?” If this was a sign of what his revenge would be, then they were looking forward to it.

They smile as admit to Cas liking their taste in centerpieces. They wanted to give him the sun and moon things he liked, but they also wanted everything to suit the theme colors they’d chosen. They laugh as he picks them up, enjoying the kiss all the more because it’s going to piss off their homophobic grandmother.

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

“I can’t wait to marry you either,” Zane says, continuing it smile at him. They’d been dreaming about this for ages so it’s hard to believe they’ll actually be getting married in such a short amount of time. They’re excited for it though.

They groan as he lifts them up. “Fiiine.” They don’t want to go back to planning yet - they’d much rather stay where they are and cuddle - but he’s not giving them much of a choice. They arch an eyebrow at his choice of words. “What do you mean our good work? I think I’ve done most of it,” they tease.

“Oh,” Cas laughs, “is that how it is?” He wraps his arms around Zane. “You should watch your mouth or I might just end this engagement.” Cas teases. He nuzzles into Zane’s neck, peppering it with kisses.

When he pulls back, Cas takes Zane’s hand. “Come on, show me which one you liked best. Then we send photos of our choices to your grandmother with us kissing in the background.”

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane grins, bringing their arms up to rest against Cas’. “Oh, no, you wouldn’t. You love me too much to do something like that.” They hum as Cas kisses their neck only to wiggle around so they can kiss him fully. “Besides, you wouldn’t want all my hard work to go to waste,” they tease, giving him another kiss.

They smile, lacing their fingers together. “I like this plan.” They wander over to where the centerpieces were sitting and point to the ones they liked best, it was between two that they thought suited the theme of the wedding the best.

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane beams after Cas’ kiss, heart swelling with love. God, they loved him and they couldn’t wait for their wedding day. They couldn’t wait to make it official. 

They laugh, bringing an arm to wrap around his neck as he deepens the kiss. If they didn’t want to get this centerpiece nonsense over with sometime this week, they’d be tempted to just go home and let Cas continue to kiss them in that wonderful way he always did. “Excellent. Grandmother is awfully good at this sort of thing.” Growing up, they’d always thought of her as the ultimate British noblewoman so she was good at this sort of thing. Even better than Luna, except where clothes were concerned.

Cas loves the way Zane smiles. They look so beautiful. “God, I can’t want to marry you.” He kisses Zane again, snapping a few more pictures to upload. He captions them If you think I’m bragging about my upcoming wedding, you’re absolutely right. I am so excited to marry this cutie and you all need to know that.

Cas tucks his phone away and stands up, lifting Zane up with him. “Come on. Lets get the bullshit out of the way and then I’ll take you out for ice cream to celebrate our good work.”

[princessofshadow-archived]

“I can’t wait to marry you either,” Zane says, continuing it smile at him. They’d been dreaming about this for ages so it’s hard to believe they’ll actually be getting married in such a short amount of time. They’re excited for it though.

They groan as he lifts them up. “Fiiine.” They don’t want to go back to planning yet - they’d much rather stay where they are and cuddle - but he’s not giving them much of a choice. They arch an eyebrow at his choice of words. “What do you mean our good work? I think I’ve done most of it,” they tease.

[princessofshadow-archived]

crossroadsdiner:

Zane is cute, even when they’re whining. It makes Cas smile and he can’t help but kiss them again. “I really, really love you.” He tells them.

Cas writes the caption and posts the picture, tagging Zane in it to make sure Luna sees it too. He leans into Zane’s kiss, deepening it slightly. “You should definitely post that one too. I think this calls for an entire photo collage. And then we message that bitchy grandmother of yours and ask for her opinion on centrepieces.”

Zane beams after Cas’ kiss, heart swelling with love. God, they loved him and they couldn’t wait for their wedding day. They couldn’t wait to make it official. 

They laugh, bringing an arm to wrap around his neck as he deepens the kiss. If they didn’t want to get this centerpiece nonsense over with sometime this week, they’d be tempted to just go home and let Cas continue to kiss them in that wonderful way he always did. “Excellent. Grandmother is awfully good at this sort of thing.” Growing up, they’d always thought of her as the ultimate British noblewoman so she was good at this sort of thing. Even better than Luna, except where clothes were concerned.

[princessofshadow-archived]

crossroadsdiner:

Cas kisses Zane’s cheek. He never tires of hearing them say they love him. “I love you too.” He loves them so much. Enough to try this all a second time, despite the heartache when his first great love was taken from him.

Cas chuckles. “The reception is the hardest part to plan, remember?” That’s what these centrepieces they were arguing over were for, after all.

“Here.” Cas takes out his phone. “Lets take some petty photos right now and post them online for those homophobes to see.” He kisses Zane’s cheek and snaps a picture of them. “What do you want the caption to be? How about Wedding planning with the cutest fiance in the world. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

Zane smiles at Cas, continuing to feel better as Cas says he loves them too. They sigh heavily as he reminds them of planning. “I know,” they whine. They actually enjoyed planning things like this, but planning their own wedding far more stressful than playing bridesmaid for someone else. Unfortunately, Atticus and Yashira were not the right people to help them with this. 

They laugh. “I love petty photos.” They continue to laugh as he kisses their cheek and snaps a photo. "Sounds perfect.” They grin before taking the phone from him and kissing him on the lips, snapping a second photo. “Shall we post this one as well?”

[princessofshadow-archived]

crossroadsdiner:

“I know.” Cas stokes Zane’s hair. This planning and preparation was more stressful than Cas had anticipated. It was even more stressful for Zane who had a vision of what they wanted and got frustrated when it didn’t work out that way. Cas didn’t care so much what it was like, as long as it happened. Zane seemed to be verging more and more that way but Cas wanted them to have their perfect vision.

Cas gives Zane one of his lopsided smiles. “We didn’t elope because we want a big party with everyone who loves us that celebrates how much we love each other.” His smile grows as he adds “And we want to rub it in the faces of your mother, my father, and Pavo especially.”

Zane hums contently as Cas strokes their hair, nuzzling against him. They’re entirely convinced his touch is magical because how else could he managed to relax them down like this any time they’re feeling stressed or anxious or anything remotely negative? “I love you.”

They manage to smile at Cas. It would be nice to celebrate their love with the people who loved and accepted them. “Couldn’t we just do that with a reception?” That was pretty much entirely what a wedding reception was for. “I do so love rubbing our love in our homophobic relatives’ faces.” 

They’d already gotten several voicemails from their maternal grandmother pointing out that they’re going to hell for this. They’d have to remember to send her some pictures of the wedding, especially ones of them and Cas in romantic poses. They’d have to make sure they were in the bridal role for some of those too. Oh, if only they could see her face when she looked through these. 

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane sighs, running a hand through their hair. They should be nicer to their fiancé. It wasn’t his fault they were frustrated. They just wanted things to be perfect for both of them and it was more stressful than they’d anticipated. At this point, they’re starting to understand why Alex and Angela eloped instead of dealing with this. “Okay. Changing the flowers would be nice.”

They run a hand over their face, moving to sit down. “Yeah,” they say tiredly. They’re tired of feeling stressed. “Yeah, I guess that’ll work.” Would their mum would kill them if they just took off to Vegas or something instead of this?

Cas gives Zane a tired smile. He can see they’re just as exhausted as he is. He sits down beside Zane and pulls them into his lap where he can wrap his arms around them and rest his head on their shoulder. “It doesn’t all need to be decided today.” he reminds them. “I know you want to all done and ready, but there is still time.”

He hadn’t had much involvement in his wedding plans back in the Sunlight Kingdom. A royal wedding was a state affair. It all had to be a particular way. He was lucky to be marrying the prince and that was as much say as he got. This time around, Cas wants to give his fiance their dream wedding, even if the planning is stressing them both out.

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane let’s Cas pull them onto his lap and sighs, resting their head against his chest. Even after being together for several years, Cas’ arms were still the safest and most relaxing place for them to be. They nuzzle against him and smile tiredly. “I know. I just want to get it over with. Not the wedding - I’m excited for that - but the decorating. It’s more stressful than I anticipated.”

They wanted to get it done ahead of time so they could focus solely on wedding attire until their wedding day. Plus, if they finished early, they might impress their mother... if she came. They weren’t entirely sure if she would. “Why didn’t we just elope?” they half-joke. “It worked for Alex and Angela.”

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane rolls their eyes. “I can live with the suns and moons. It’s everything else about it that’s a problem.” They likes the sun and moon part, but the flowers were tacky and so were the colors. They were too stressed with making sure everything else went smoothly that they didn’t feel like arguing with Cas over the centerpieces.

Cas can see the frustration clear on Zane’s face. He sighs. He wanted this wedding to be perfect for Zane so he should be more adaptable on the centrepiece. “Okay, okay. Maybe they can change the flowers? Or we can pick a different floral centrepiece that they can put the moons and suns with?” Zane was investing enough money into this wedding that people should jump to do everything they wish. Cas has never seen anything like it. Zane’s lucky they’re rich because Cas would never be able to afford something like this for them.

“What about the white roses?” Cas asks. “The ones with the little LED lights in them? Could we put the suns and moons with those?”

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane sighs, running a hand through their hair. They should be nicer to their fiancé. It wasn’t his fault they were frustrated. They just wanted things to be perfect for both of them and it was more stressful than they’d anticipated. At this point, they’re starting to understand why Alex and Angela eloped instead of dealing with this. “Okay. Changing the flowers would be nice.”

They run a hand over their face, moving to sit down. “Yeah,” they say tiredly. They’re tired of feeling stressed. “Yeah, I guess that’ll work.” Would their mum would kill them if they just took off to Vegas or something instead of this?

[princessofshadow-archived]

@crossroadsdiner answered (+)

“Wha-what?” Cas gestures to the centrepiece. He’s honestly surprised Zane finds it tacky, then again, Cas has noticed they do have a few different tastes. “Its suns! And moons! Its perfect for us!” They haven’t argued over anything to do with this wedding yet, so maybe this is due.

—

Zane rolls their eyes. “I can live with the suns and moons. It’s everything else about it that’s a problem.” They likes the sun and moon part, but the flowers were tacky and so were the colors. They were too stressed with making sure everything else went smoothly that they didn’t feel like arguing with Cas over the centerpieces.

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

lgbt+ wedding starters

In honor of the end of pride month ! Some can fit into other categories. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes. More wedding starters: x.

gay bride

“I don’t want to wear a dress.”

“We’re just two gals being pals.”

“Is it bad luck for us to see each other or is that just a heterosexual thing?”

“That’s my WIFE! I can’t wait to say that.”

“My great aunt saw you and asked me who my friend is.”

gay groom

“At least no one refused to bake our wedding cake.”

“I feel like this should be rainbow.”

“Our outfits can’t match!”

“What do you mean ‘flamboyant’?”

“Are you going to say ‘I love you’? Because that’s gay.”

nonbinary spouse-to-be

“I need to find a way to look as androgynous as possible.”

“Can we skip the whole ‘husband and wife’ thing?”

“I don’t mind wearing a suit/dress, but I REFUSE to have such a tacky centerpiece.”

“No, I’m supposed to lead. Because you can’t dance.”

“Fuck what the guests think.”

bi/pan/poly spouse-to-be

“I could’ve married literally anyone, but I chose you.”

“Hey, I picked a side. Your BACKSIDE! Hey-o.”

“I think two of my exes are hooking up in the back.”

“I’m so happy I can tell you how much I love you in front of everyone.”

“I know I’m not closeted anymore but can all of these people leave? This is embarrassing.”

misc.

“I’ve slept with everyone in this room.”

“I’m here, I’m queer…I need a beer…”

“Love wins.”

“See, I came. I’m a good ally.”

“This is the best wedding I’ve ever been to!”

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Zane smiles as he kisses them, taking an opportunity to deepen it ever so slightly before returning their attention back to their meal. “They’re wonderful.” They fork off another bite, with less whipped cream this time, and hold it up to Cas. “Wanna taste?” Apparently, they’re in the mood to tease.

Cas hums into the kiss. Zane is far too good at kissing. Cas rarely wants to do anything else. He smiles and leans in to try a bite. There are things other than the crepes that he’s like to taste, like more of Zane’s kisses, but he goes along with Zane’s teasing. Cas always gets a small thrill of using the same spoon or fork as Zane.

[princessofshadow-archived]

Zane’s heart flutters as Cas takes the offered bite. They liked feeding him like this since it felt strangely intimate. “Do you like them?” They know he made them specifically for them, but it’d be nice if he liked them too. Speaking of, “Have you eaten yet?”

[crossroadsdiner]

princessofshadow

Atticus smiles softly as Rowan speaks so highly of him. He supposes he understands what Rowan’s getting at since he’d overheard Zane and Yashira talking about how weird it was to see him depressed not long after Rowan had left. He heard a lot of people talking about it actually since he didn’t do depression. He tried to always be happy - or at least appear like he was - but it was just too hard after Rowan left.

He sighs, knowing Rowan had a point. “It certainly would have been nice. I may not have been able to make them stop tormenting you, but I would have liked to at least tried.” Maybe he could have convinced Rowan to stay. If not, he could at least say he tried to and that would have helped.

Rowan shakes his head and tries to unclench his fists. He lays his hands on the bench and focuses on his knuckles and not hitting anything. “You wouldn’t have been able to do anything.” Rowan mumbles. “I need to. I needed to… accept…” Rowan doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want Atticus thinking any less of him. Except if he isn’t honest, the Erinyes will punish him.

“I killed my father.” Rowan says. “And it wasn’t an accident, as much as I want to believe it was. As much as I led you to believe it was. I didn’t plan to kill him but I did and it was on purpose. The Erinyes won’t let me be happy while in denial about that.”

Rowan looks up at Atticus nervously. “Do you think less of me?” Atticus had always seen the best in him. He’d always tried to tell Rowan it had been an accident and that was alright. Now Atticus would know the true. Could he still think Rowan was a good person, knowing he really is a murderer.

[princessofshadow-archived]

Atticus’ curiosity is piqued at Rowan’s words. What on earth could Rowan have done that the Erinyes would torment him for not accepting? He already accepted that he killed his father. What else was there? The answer makes his head spin.

Rowan... purposely murdered his father? That was... unexpected. Atticus wasn’t sure what to think since that was far different from what he initially believed. “I - you - that-“ he stops trying to speak and simply thinks about what he knows.

Rowan’s father was an abusive bastard who hurt his wife and kids. He was a worthless drunk who didn’t bother caring for his children. He was probably even worse than Jason when it came down to it. Maybe. Probably. Not by much though.

As for Rowan, he was sometimes an asshole, but Atticus had always believed he was a good person at heart. He looked after injured little birds and adored dogs. He adored Celia and could never refuse her anything. He was also fond of Zane despite their... difficult... start. He tried to be a better person, even when it scared him to try and be gentle. Or to accept gentleness from someone else. Atticus was deeply, hopelessly, and irreversibly in love with him.

Atticus takes a deep breath and looks up at Rowan as confidently as possible. “No. No, you’re... it was a heat of passion sort of thing and, honestly, was pretty justifiable based on what you’ve told me about him. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve already paid for what happened and you try to be a better person, even when it scares you. If anything, I can respect that.” He smiles gently. “You’re still the same Rowan I‘ve always known, and what you’ve just told me doesn’t change that.”