Before the storm

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KIROKAZE

Janaina Medeiros
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@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
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macklin celebrini has autism

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@princessra2000
Before the storm
Im going out.
I need to get it together I have a good job, a nice apartment, a nice car. I am educated. I am beautiful. I am young and my body is tea! I can sing, I am a kick ass writer. I am funny, bilingual, bitch im rly tea.
When I sit back and think about it, I couldn’t have held on for much longer.
He just kept doing things. New women, women from his past, women he claims he didn’t have a relationship with. And I wasn’t supposed to feel any kind of way about all that?
I did not have the mental or emotional fortitude to handle the impact of his impulsive behavior with women.
He knew it was a matter of time. Those “I love yous” felt so hollow and flat.
At least I have Ash. A great parting gift ig
To add to the the mess!!! Im tryna figure out did I just see nicki and the orange man behind a podium together ?????
That sent me into a spiral that really did me in I swearrrrrrrrrr
He was holding her hand!!!! My shayla!!!
Im sickkkkkkkk
All for a raggedy ass gold card???
They aren’t working yet
3-4-6 weeks and maybe some sunshine
🤞🏾
I came across a video that had a song from his playlist in the background.
I couldn’t contain it this time.
I have to get out every last tear just to be safe.
My heart feels sore
Day idk no contact
My brain chemicals will rebalance soon right? I’ll start writing again and everything I learned will foster creation.
Now…….when will the rest of me catch up with my brain?
Day 7 no contact
He liked Raven from teen titans
He took this picture
I’m looking through old photos trying to figure out what to do with them.
Do you blame me for letting go of fire?
This was the day I saw that picture. I knew that ring. His callused palm down, fingers extended to her french tipped pinky.
He then painted that exact picture.
I saw the underpaint hanging to dry on the wall.
I cried
I ran away
I came back
We weren’t together, he said
He lied to me the whole way.
High waisted everything
Day 6 no contact.
I am working from home today. Maybe I won’t feel so drained then. Its like a year and a half worth of healing I have to do and every morning It hits me like a truck.
Day 5 no contact
I thought about it less this morning. Still the first thing on my mind, but it was dull pressure on my heart instead of a stabbing jolt.
Progress ig