i'm a princess, bitch.

[princesssarahmarley]

Mass Text || Sibs

Tris: So, following the trend of alerting everyone to news over a mass text...

Tris: I like girls and I’m really tired of people trying to set me up with eligible bachelors. First: I can find my own future partner. Second: Let me think girls are hot and guys are not.

Tris: Okay, vent over.

Tris: No! Just because I can’t walk people act like I’m damaged goods and “there’s still a chance for me” please! The only thing my legs are good for is running away from your dumbass options...

Tris: ...okay the vent is done now. I like girls. And I’m gonna punch someone one of these days.

Sarah: So does this mean you’ll finally tell doctor B that you have a giant gay crush on her or....?

[princesssarahmarley]

frannylangston‌:

Well, he’s been in love, but at least she’s not in some loveless marriage anymore on her end. –They should’ve named you Mary Jane. Oh, honey, I invented partying. 

I suppose. I don’t know how she even went through with it. --Well, actually, I do, lots of vodka, but how she was able to live with herself when she woke up the next morning.... --That’s what I’ve always said, but I had to be named after a distant aunt or something. ...We’ll see. 

[princesssarahmarley]

frannylangston‌:

Only by blood. Eh, he’s not too bad, just a bore. He’s all about responsibility and protecting the family name, blah blah blah. –So you’re the Conroy partier, eh? Think you can keep up?

Oh, so boring. But I guess he and Alaska are all in love now or whatever, so I guess he’ll be around for a while, unfortunately. --Yep, that would be me, though I prefer Her Royal Highness, wink wink. Oh, I know I can-- you sure you can? 

[princesssarahmarley]

frannylangston‌:

Let’s get the introductions over with in case any of you forgot who I am. Hi, I’m Francine Langston. Little sister of my dumbass brother, Charles. I have a ton of humiliating pictures of him, for the right price. Now, let’s get this party started.

You’re related to the big lug, huh? I block out pretty much anything to do with him, so I definitely do not remember you or most of the wedding. --Party? Oh, I think you and I are going to get along just fine.

[princesssarahmarley]

royal-charlesl‌:

I feel like I haven’t been around since last year. It’s not too far into 2019 to make those kinds of jokes, right? But it does seem like I’ve been so busy lately. What has everyone else been up to?

Well, I definitely haven’t been making weird, corny jokes four weeks into the new year about 2018. You need new material, bro. What have you been busy with? Don’t you just stand around next to my sister and look pretty? --I personally have been planning this years events, hopefully to get everyone out of their crappy moods. 

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: good.

tris: yes, and I was talking to Alaska about just that. You love decorating, planning, being center of attention, and we all need to step up with responsibilities so it’s not just on Alaska. You can have free range of planning anything we have to plan. When people get married, you can become wedding plannerzilla. It’s all you.

sarah: so i get to tell everyone what to do and what to wear and make the castle look top notch all the time?

[crystalconroy-blog1]

It’s almost Christmas

[princesssarahmarley]

countesszoeyc‌:

And Sarah made this place look like the North Pole! If Santa was real, he would totally confuse this place and fall asleep here. 

What can I say? I have a gift. 

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: then put your money where your mouth is.

tris: Phoebe. You goof. I mean Phoebe.

sarah: fineeeee, quit bugging me. i'm gonna do it.

sarah: phoebe?

sarah: oh, you mean ian's new wife. i don't know her. i don't know him.

sarah: they didn't invite me to the wedding. when everyone knows i LOVE weddings.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: you never know. step up your game and take advantage of my being disabled.

tris: and now we have another sister so who knows when they’ll pop out a baby.

tris: Zoey deserves it. Get her mind off things.

sarah: i could beat you even if you weren't disabled. it's the twin thing that makes it complicated.

sarah: another sister? i think we've always known about crystal, tristan. she hardly counts as new.

sarah: yeah, i know.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: what about our niece? think about making Christmas magical for her.

tris: you want to be godmother... prove it to people that you deserve it.

sarah: will's going to pick you, what's the point?

sarah: i guess i should make everything nice for zoey, though.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: still!

tris: mom always kept it up until after the new year.

sarah: blah blah blah.

sarah: i guess.

sarah: you do it if you want decorations put up.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: I was the youngest once.

tris: all the more reason to do it. Make us get festive.

sarah: barely.

sarah: i'm not in the mood anymore. besides, it's just going to get taken down, christmas is in like four days.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: psh, I don’t just annoy you. I do it to everyone, kiddo. It’s my job as the sister.

tris: how’s your festive decorating going?

sarah: but i'm the youngest, so everyone picks on me the most.

sarah: i gave up on that. i lost interest. no one seems to be in the mood for christmas, anyway.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: because it’s my job.

tris: noooo

tris: you

tris: need

tris: to

tris: talk

tris: to

tris: me

tris: NOW

sarah: i wouldn't know, i don't have a younger sister to make miserable.

sarah: alright fine!!! jeez.

sarah: what do you want to talk about then?

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: Edward is dead and Jacob gets rabies.

tris: I’m bored so I felt like irritating you.

sarah: why must you ruin everything for me?

sarah: yayyyyyy me.

sarah: hold on i'm at a really good part.

[princesssarahmarley]

text || tris & sarah

tris: hey ET, what’re you up to?

sarah: reading twilight, what do you want?

[princesssarahmarley]

royal-trisc‌:

Okay, just biologically speaking, that means you would have to kill Alaska, Ian, Miles, Zoey, Will, little fetus, AND me. You’d be in a padded cell long before the throne fell into your lap, chicky.

I don’t have to kill anyone, I’d just have to hide you somewhere so everyone thinks you’re all gone without suspecting a thing. Besides, there’s been plenty of crazy ass people in the throne. You’re favorite, Bloody Mary, being one of them.