The Story of the Perfect Human Being
When Rey first met the Perfect Human Being the guy was quite busy picking up cigarette butts from the ground. When - not entirely by accident - Rey also dropped hers, the Perfect Human Being picked that one up too and looked at her with such a fatherly disapproval that she has never seen on anyone's face before.
Next time, she spotted him at a construction site, working hard while his co-workers seemed to have been in the middle of a perpetual lunch break, smoking and drinking something out of a flask, occasionally stopping to catcall to women passing by or laugh at the 'poor bastard' who can't take a break. The 'poor bastard' was indeed packing heavy bags of cement with a strength and will that looked almost supernatural. Rey's gaze lingered on the hint of muscles under the sweaty t-shirt and noted to herself that the guy must be bat shit crazy.
When she met him for the third time, the Perfect Human Being was sitting on the edge of the pavement in the pouring rain, trying to treat a dog with a broken leg. By then, Rey knew for sure that the guy had to have been a complete lunatic.
“And looks like he's not the only one here” she thought to herself as she pulled up her car at the nearest veterinary clinic slash animal shelter where, after being reassured by at least five nurses that the dog would be in good hands, they dropped off the Perfect Human Being's little friend.
There he was now, sitting in the front seat and looking out the window as if this was his first car ride ever. He looked like a giant 5-year-old except for the fact that 5-year-olds didn't have that dark shade of stubbles on their angular faces or those beautifully toned arms that were quite visible under the soaked clothes and the thick layers of dirt.
“Oh right, you just need to get laid” Rey thought to herself as she fumbled with the keys at the door of her apartment, the Perfect Human Being waiting patiently behind her.
“Make yourself at home, I will just go to the bathroom very quickly” she said, trying to suppress the faint tremble in her voice as she and her guest entered the impeccably clean living room. Rey was kind of a neat freak.
“You can do this Rey” she told her reflection as she closed herself inside the bathroom. “You've been wanting to shag this guy for at least a month now. Go get it girl!”
But she didn't manage to get anything. The Perfect Human Being was already in a deep slumber on her couch by the time she went back to the living room wearing her sexiest negligee.
She didn't get anything the next day either, though the Perfect Human Being made her breakfast and cleaned her kitchen to an almost unreal state of spotless. The following day, he did the same thing to her bedroom while Rey was at work, and waited for her with a home-cooked meal in the evening.
“Maybe I could just wait and let him stay here until he cleans the bathroom too. I can always shag him on the weekend” She mulled while eating a piece of asparagus wrapped in bacon when a thought suddenly struck her.
“What's your name by the way?”
The Perfect Human Being looked a bit surprised by the question but he put down his fork and answered in the most natural way possible.
“Where I come from, they called me ZX00098154.”
Rey almost choked on her food.
“Excuse me?” She asked, half-expecting the guy in front of her to suddenly burst into laughter. The other part of her was absolutely sure she would be murdered that night. “Is that something from prison?” She enquired in what she thought was a nonchalant tone, her fork picking up another piece of asparagus.
“No, this was my serial number” the Perfect Human Being told her as if it was the most evident thing in the world. “My creator gave me when I hadn’t been finished yet.”
Rey didn't understand a thing. She now knew that she really did invite a lunatic to her home. A very handsome one, but still a lunatic.
“Your creator?” She asked boldly, trying to mute a thought that kept popping into her mind, a thought about her thick blood slowly covering her kitchen floor, her immaculate kitchen floor.
“Yes, my creator” the guy nodded, looking into Rey's eyes without blinking. “The person who invented and created the Perfect Human Being. I was sent here to help people. To educate them about what is right and to set an example to them. This is the purpose of my existence.”
Rey kept watching him for a very long time before she told him that he could stay at her place for as long as he'd wanted. Even though she did not believe in good deeds and charity.
She regretted her decision almost immediately, and she cursed the day when she let the Perfect Human Being inside her apartment. She cursed herself even more though when walking home from the nearest metro station she noticed her guest standing on a box delivering something like a sermon to the folks passing by. Rey grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and dragged him away from the scene as fast as possible, high heels clicking furiously on the concrete floor.
“What were you doing there, idiot?" she hissed, her cold blue eyes flashing with anger.
“Teaching people” the Perfect Human Being answered with his usual calm confidence.Rey dragged him home without a word.
By the following week, the Perfect Human Being somehow managed to get even more irritating. He kept asking questions about the "habits of humans", driving Rey crazy.
“How is it possible for the Perfect Human Being to be so uninformed about human beings?' she snapped eventually, after having to explain the concept of civil war and Kantian ethics.
The man apparently had no answer for this question, finally, Rey thought. He just stood there, looking at her with big innocent eyes, blinking in confusion, a quiet desperation slowly crawling into his mind and distorting his features.
“So you think I'm not the Perfect Human Being after all?” he asked weakly, and for the very first time he seemed genuinely insecure. Rey almost started to feel sorry for him.
“I think you're an idiot” annoyed, she mumbled before heading out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Another week passed and Rey started to look on the bright side of things that came with sharing her home with a crazy person. While the Perfect Human Being was still pretty frustrating with his never-ending queries about modern civilization, Rey was quite content with the delicious meals he made. And whenever she had to drag the insane prophet away from his sermon sessions in the subway, she comforted herself by thinking about the perfectly clean floors, and immediately felt less annoyed.
"How are you not fed up with being laughed at yet?" she asked him on the umpteenth occasion this took place, holding the arm of the Perfect Human Being tight as if she was afraid that he would escape and run back to his "herd".
"One day, they are going to hear me" she heard his reply from behind her, the soft confidence in his voice making her heart warm up. She snorted and shook her head to regain her composure, asking:
"I don't know what that is" ZX00098154 replied calmly. Rey rolled her eyes and reminded herself of the cleanliness of her apartment. Shining clean floors. Without a single piece of dust.
"You know if you want people to listen to you, you should change a few things" she said absentmindedly, but it seemed to have caught the attention of the Perfect Human Being.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Rey stopped in her tracks to turn around and took a good look at him.
"Well, first of all you should get a haircut."
"Don't you think I should learn some more about your ways before I start reaching out to such a huge audience?" the Perfect Human Being asked that evening in the kitchen, as they were hunched over what Rey called a marketing plan.
"No way" , Rey said. "Your childlike ignorance is adorable, I mean people suck that shit up all the time. They're going to love it."
"Why, do you?" the Perfect Human Being asked with complete innocence. Rey blinked and tried to hide the slight trembling in her voice as she said:
"Don't be delusional. My job is to find the best way to sell you. You're basically a product to me."
The Perfect Human Being nodded, but his face seemed to darken a bit.
"I see.” he said. ”Thank you for helping me anyway."
And she did sell him apparently, judging by the countless magazine covers featuring the face of the "handsome prophet" or "charming messiah" as they referred to him.
Rey wanted to puke as she was reading the headlines. She also wanted to slap the TV reporter who flirted with him during an interview and punch the guy in the suit who gave him his card and talked about lectures all over the world. She thought about massacres and hand-grenades while she was watching the flock of chirping women gathered around her protégé after his sessions. She wanted to shout out everything she thought and felt, "You are all fake, a month ago you basically laughed at him and now that he looks decent you're all over him! You wouldn't even like him now if it wasn't for me!"
But she didn't say anything, nor did any of those things. She just suffered in quiet desperation as the Perfect Human Being came home later and later every night and began spending less time with annoying her overall. But no matter how busy he got he still found the time to cook dinner for his host, even if he had to do it at 3 in the morning. Rey wanted to cry each time she found the container full of delicious goodies in her fridge. Instead, she just chose to be even meaner to the poor tenant on the sparse occasions when they were in the same room.
The Perfect Human Being reacted to her excessive viciousness with the same patience and benevolence as always.
"You know, you can only achieve happiness if you can let yourself love others" he said once. Rey just threw a book at him as an answer and went out to the nearest bar to indeed show him how much she can let herself love others.
Another month passed and things got even worse. They barely saw each other anymore, while more and more fangirls seemed to have appeared lurking around Rey's home and there was a huge pile of love letters flowing out of the mailbox each day. The meals cooked by her protégé sparsed, then disappeared completely, making Rey's insides scream in pain. She decided there was only one solution to finally end her sufferings: she had to seduce the Perfect Human Being.
She started with subtle hints and the usual tricks, a soft touch on the biceps, a lingering gaze, however, the idiot seemed completely oblivious to her advances. One day, Rey stepped in front of him and started to unbutton his shirt, from top to bottom, with nervous movements and fumbling fingers. The Perfect Human Being watched her for a while before quietly noting that his shirt did not need any cleaning right then.
“Fantastic” Rey said and continued with her task without even giving him a glance.
“I don't think you should be doing this” the soft voice of the man hit her as she sunk to her knees, making her lift her gaze to look him in the eye. He was watching her with a quiet determination and something else that made the blood in Rey's veins boil at once: pity.
“Fuck you” she spat before rising to her feet as quickly as possible and storming off in shameful defeat.
Rey hated emotional farewells more than anything, so when the Perfect Human Being came up to her one day saying that they needed to talk, looking all sad and sheepish, she chose to practice hostility instead.
"One day you will realise that your existence has no purpose, just like the rest of us do."
Her spiteful words echoed in the empty room long after she'd closed the door behind the Perfect Human Being.
Weeks went by without knowing anything of his well-being. Although he did try to keep in touch with her former landlady, Rey never answered any of his messages or calls. She kept an eye on the press coverage though, reading every now and then about how the "Saint of Superstars" donated all his income from his sold out lectures to charity or how he built a homeless shelter or other very meaningful stuff. Rey was split between finding him utterly annoying and absolutely endearing. Mostly, she felt heartbroken and lonelier than ever. She blamed her genius mind and the stupid haircut that started everything.
Then one day there were no articles anymore. The handsome face of her former protégé disappeared from the covers and the TV screens, and starting then, she had no idea whatsoever if the Perfect Human Being was still alive or not. She tried not to hear the evil little voice in the back of her mind that kept whispering to her about drug addictions and suicides and diseases that come wearing the mask of naked thighs with creamy colored skin and slowly eat you up from the inside.
Rey eventually managed to find out that the Perfect Human Being was ditched by his manager and the agency that found a new potential celebrity/handsome face and decided to focus on him instead of the less profitable ZX00098154.
Rey assumed that having donated or lost all of his money, he was back on the streets once again. Or at least that was the impression she got when she noticed him on a bench, covered in dirt and feeding a stray cat with some milk. She walked up to him, knees weak and stomach trembling, and when the other finally took notice of her presence she was met with the most radiant smile that somehow even managed to make the surrounding dirt more tolerable.
The Perfect Human Being was sitting on her couch once again with a troubled face.
"I may not be the Perfect Human Being after all" he said. "I'm more likely to be just a prototype, a test project before the real deal."
Rey didn't know what to say. She knew that this day would come, she just never thought she'd be a part of it after everything that had happened between them.
"I think I should go back to my creator" ZX00098154 continued. "I didn't manage to complete my task so I probably should be eliminated."
Despair came over Rey as a cold, lifeless hand grabbing her throat. She gulped and sat down beside the Perfect Human Being before she started talking in a soft voice, her gaze glued to the immaculate floor.
"You know people in this world don't always manage to fully complete their tasks" she said. "So sometimes they need someone else to help them or eventually to take the task over from them. So, some kind of a successor."
"Yes, but you know, one that's worthy of carrying on the task. So in order to have such a successor it is better to keep an eye on them from the very beginning. To be able to give them all the knowledge and to help them grow into a person who will be able to succeed at completing the task." Her cheeks started to turn red she spoke.
She kind of expected the Perfect Human Being to start asking stupid questions, but he understood right away. He nodded, asking in a soft and warm voice:
“Do you think I could train such a successor? And on my own?”
Rey’s cheeks grew hotter as she answered, not daring to look at the man sitting beside her, but feeling the warmth of his gaze on her face all the while.
“They say it's best if you raise the successor yourself from a very early age but with a partner who can help and support you and maybe even love you.”
The silence was unbearable in the room as Rey slowly raised her head to take a look at the face of the Perfect Human Being. His expression was serious but immediately softened as his eyes met Rey’s and he gave her the smallest of nods before gathering her in his arms.