Forget .
Pairing(s); sirius black x reader
Warning(s); tw // cw // blood, disease, etc
Request; nope.
A/N; Hanahaki AU (surely yall familiar with it, right?) I'm sorry I haven't been inactive for the past two weeks... i have college midtests so yeah.
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if someone says that falling in love is the most amazing thing in the world, well, they're wrong. at least, not if they fall in the wrong time, at the wrong person.
y/n never thought that she would experience the same thing, especially on her close friend–sirius black. he's devilishly handsome, funny, brave and never once he believes in such blood supremacy; considering that y/n is a half-blood.
maybe it's because of his appearance, or maybe his lame dog jokes or his endless flirting, y/n didn't realise when was she start to develop a romantic feeling towards the curly-haired boy. i mean, everyone does it, right?
"y/n! we need you to bribe remus since you're his favourite!" sirius shouts from the end of the boys' staircase, fully aware that y/n and remus are clearly in the common room together.
"i'm literally right here, what could you possibly want her to bribe me with?" remus rolls his eyes, he's trying to brush off the peach blush that coating his pale cheeks.
"chocolates, maybe?" y/n suggests, not even looking up from her parchment paper.
remus scoffs; of course, sirius would do that, but he's not going to give in to whatever-shenanigans-they-plan-to-do easily. he knows that they (when i say they, it means sirius, james and peter) would either end up in detention or hospital wing.
less than a minute, sirius slides in front of her and grinning ear-to-ear. y/n won't admit to anyone but she often gets flustered by the sudden appearance from him. who can blames a girl for having a crush?
"well, y/n? care to help your handsome best friend to get approval and idea from our furry little friend so we can do some mischief?" sirius wiggles his eyebrows.
"hey! i'm the handsome one!" james complains from beside him.
looking back and forth between sirius and remus, y/n contemplates if she shall comply sirius' nearly-killing-her suggestive looks or remus' nearly-killing-her death glares.
"uh... sure...?" she trails off, earning a groan from the lycanthropy boy and two cheers from the idiot brothers.
"well, lemme tell you the plan!"
unconsciously, sirius leans closer–TOO CLOSER–to y/n' ear and whispers something while james prepares the bribe for remus. she blushes but still listening despite his alluring voice that almost makes her faint. no one notices but james does; there's something suspicious about her demeanour and he wants to find out.
"right, nowww tell him, y/n!" sirius jumps in excitement like a kid, gosh he's so cute.
"admit that i have better puppy eyes than you and i'll do it!"
james bellows in laughter but doesn't deny it, instead, he agrees to the fact that y/n has better puppy dog eyes than sirius even though sirius is a dog, literally.
"ugh why!! you know it's not true so why makes me admit something that's not true???"
"if you say so... then good luck bribing remus by yourself..." she teases, she knows how much sirius hates being a second place to the best puppy dog eyes title, and how stubborn remus is.
within a loud whine, sirius mumbles the declaration and the rest of them laugh at his confession. never once sirius would do that, but if it's for mischief, then he'd do it.
after that, y/n manages to get a yes and a flustered face from remus less than ten minutes, and sirius, james and peter are gone immediately.
"must you do that to me?" remus whispers to himself.
"well, it was three against one and of course i lost," she answers, not knowing that remus blushes harder when she heard it.
they continue studying in the common room until dinner time since there are no more classes, not bothering to wait for the others. a few hours without them is good therapy for their mental health.
the great hall is crowded but peaceful because james and sirius haven't arrived yet with their obnoxious and loud antics. it goes well before they join in the gryffindor table.
"hey there, m'fav! how was yer day?" sirius throws a baby potato to his mouth.
"good, thank you, sirius."
even though sirius is often careless about his surrounding, he listens and pays attention to some little things. he knows how much it means for y/n when someone asks about her day; or how much it means for james when he cheers for him on quidditch matches, et cetera.
paying attention to the lady is a very sweet thing to do for men. it means that they care a lot and would love to learn something about their opposite gender(s). and sirius is one of them.
"i know someone has a crush when i see one," james whispers beside y/n, pulling out of her daydream.
"i don't have a crush on sirius," she denies.
"well, i never say the name but thanks for the confirmation. your longing stare and vermillion blush say the otherwise."
y/n smacks his arm but her mouth remains shut. he's right and she doesn't want to admit; such a different and opposite pair.
feeling a sudden pain in her throat, y/n coughs harshly before she can swallow the pumpkin juice. it's painful, as if something blocks her respiration tract and the oxygen can't enter the lungs.
"y/n? what's wrong? are you okay?" james rubs her back softly.
"some–something *cough* it's, it–it hurts, jam– *cough* –james!"
y/n gasps, her vision is getting blurry and she can taste something metallic on her tongue. the way she coughs clearly showing that she wants to get off the thing inside her throat. y/n grips his forearm tightly that james sure it will leaves bruises.
"w-woah, alright let's get you to poppy now!" he insists to carry her bridal style and leaves the hall unannounced by anyone.
not even thirty seconds later, y/n finally spits out something on her palm–a few petals of black roses, purple anemones, and yellow chrysanthemum. she looks up to james which showing a look of pure terror, before passing out completely on his arms.
been two hours and forty minutes and james still can't stop pacing all around the room. madame pomfrey had scolded him multiple times but he's very stubborn. and he's in a great dilemma whether he shall stay in the hospital wing or tell the others about the truth, yet he can't bear to leave her alone.
"mr potter! go back to your dorm right now, it's already curfew time!" madam pomfrey scolds him, again.
"but madame pomfrey–" james argues.
"ah, poppy... let the poor boy stay for a little longer, alright?" dumbledore comes out of nowhere, at his usual dramatic red and white frilly robes. he picks up a withered and dry dark yellow chrysanthemum petal that covered in dried blood from the tray on the bedside table.
madame pomfrey huffs and lets dumbledore inspect the petals of the flowers, then he nods, mainly to himself.
"ah, i've never seen this kind of... thing. very strange, indeed. we must investigate this to make sure it's not dangerous..."
"alright, headmaster. i'll call mcgonagall and slughorn to come."
dumbledore raises a hand to make her stop talking, "there's no need, they shall come in any minutes now..."
just like he said, the two professors burst into the room, and then mcgonagall gasps in shock upon seeing y/n, laying lifelessly with blood spots on her face, hands and uniform. it's such a horrifying sight. slughorn is murmuring incoherent sentences under his breath.
"ah, mr potter, i think it's time for you to go. we, i assure you, will take care of your dearly friend."
as much as james wants to stay, he can't possibly argue when the curtains around her bed are closed, and he sighs in annoyance. rather than going back to his dorm, he decides to eavesdrop on their conversation, and maybe he can find something from it.
james curses himself for not bringing his invisible cloak and hides behind the empty bed next to y/n'. thankfully the room is quiet so he can hear the faint conversation which they didn't bother to use spells so no one can listen.
"... i think so. it's very... peculiar, and i believe we don't have the cure or, potions for this..."
"must we get the healers from St. Mungo?"
"or better yet, muggle doctors. i'll get in touch with my muggle-born colleagues, excuse me."
mcgonagall leaves the room, and james decides to go back unless he wants to get in detention. it's not like he needs more information, and he knows he can ask lily for help since she's also a muggle-born.
the marauders sigh in relief when james pops into the common room, but marlene quickly notices that y/n is not with him. "where's y/n?" she asks.
"uh, I've been looking for y/n since dinner but with no luck of finding her," he says smoothly, then he rushes them to go to sleep since mcgonagall can come in any time now.
the next day, james wakes up the first before anyone else and then he sneaks out to find y/n in the hospital wing.
"good morning madame, have you seen y/n?"
"oh, good morning too mr potter. right, she's in the seventh bed, you can visit her now."
surely, y/n is currently awake, a random book in front of her face like she's hiding something. he smiles in adoration, the way she reads a book is quite cute, almost look like a kid who's just discover something interesting.
"hey," james says while sitting on the edge of the bed. y/n lowers the book to her chest then grinning widely. but james notices it, how her usual plump lips are dry, pale and chapped now.
"what's wrong with your lips?" he frowns.
y/n claps the book shut and put it away, shaking her head in process. "nothing, i'm just dehydrated, that's all."
of course it's a lie, but he doesn't want to press further if she's uncomfortable talking about it. he ruffles her hair softly.
"you okay?" he asks.
shrugging nonchalantly, y/n continues to read the book, eyes wander around the paragraph but she can't seem to focus.
the silence is sickening, but soon replaced when some people start to surround the bed, making y/n nervous. she takes james' hand for support, and he will do anything to protect her.
"mr potter, we need to check up on ms l/n. please move out of the way," mcgonagall says sternly.
"fine! but i get to stay here with all of you, are we deal?"
"alright, sure..."
a female doctor runs a few tests and interviews then sighing, and james can tell it's not a good sign. she scribbles some things on muggle papers quickly and gives it to madame pomfrey.
"based on the test, there's nothing wrong with ms l/n–"
everyone breathes out in relief upon hearing the news.
"–however, ms l/n is diagnosed with a rare disease... our patient said she throw up flower petals and... i believe there's only one assumption which connected to the symptoms, and it's called hanahaki."
"when people develop romantic feelings towards someone else, and they don't reciprocate it, we can say that it's the main reason. though i always believe that hanahaki is just a folklore..."
pomfrey hums in disappointment; she never heard such disease in her whole life, and by just the sound of the name, she can tell it's not really curable.
"is there... anything we can do to cure it? potions or... treatment?" james asks desperately.
the doctor smiles sadly and begins to pack up her thing. "there are two different options, but each of them have their own risk too..."
all the colours is drained from james' face. he looks at y/n; which is busy playing with the hem of her hospital gown, the light on her eyes drooping slowly. it hurts, for her, for him, and for everyone else.
y/n asks to be left alone, but james is reluctant about it. he knows it's a hard choice for her, but he really can't help with anything. after giving a kiss on the forehead, james leaves the room in sadness.
"potter? what are you doing here? i've been looking for you, our head boy calls for prefects' meeting, we should come now."
lily rushes james to join the meeting, yet his mind is wandering somewhere else. it surprises her when james didn't even try to flirt. she knows, whatever is bothering him must be important.
"you've been distracted since i found you earlier and it's kinda make me frustrated. would you like to–" she asks.
"y/n is diagnosed with hanahaki... i.. don't know what it is and i can't do anything to help her, she wants to be left alone..." he interrupts with a quiet murmur.
she gasps in shock; being a muggle-born has its privilege, and having muggles folklore is one of them. of course lily knows about it, she just can't believe it would happen to y/n.
a silent cry comes from james' mouth and he doesn't even try to hide it. something crushes his heart beyond repair and he's fully aware that it can't be fixed, at least, not in a long time. he just doesn't want to lose y/n. his y/n.
the training ground is empty, just a few birds and magical creatures play all around together. it's a nice view from the hospital wing' window, and y/n never felt so helpless before.
she didn't ask to have a disease, she didn't ask to fall in love, and certainly, she didn't ask to get her feelings unrequited. and now, she just wishes that she can forget everything, everything but sirius black.
———
