i don't do bad sauce passes
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Cosmic Funnies
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@prkrearchive
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he isn’t staying long. or at all. there’s just a few things he needs, stuff he’d forgotten in his rush to leave the city. part of him also knows that he should talk to sid. if not to explain himself, then at least for the purpose of getting some legal advice from someone he trusts. it’s around two or three in the morning when he steps into the apartment they once shared, his slumped frame and haggard appearance immediately enveloped by the darkness. he was surprised that his key actually worked. changing the locks seems like something sid would do. he’s probably angry. maybe he doesn’t even want to see his douchebag roommate who left one night and never fucking came back. shrugging off his backpack with a sigh, he haphazardly began picking through their living room. he probably should’ve been quieter, or at least paid more attention to other noises around the apartment. spinning on his heel with armfuls of stuff, everything almost fell to the ground in a heap when he nearly collided with a figure he probably should’ve expected to see. “fucking hell, sid.” / @ssantinisms
below the cut are a few details on parker’s time away! it’s not a whole new intro or anything bc his backstory is literally the same and you can read it right here. anyway, i’m assuming that everyone wants to keep their previous plots with him but if not then feel free to message for plots or re plotting!
death tw
so i’m sure none of y’all are surprised but for now i’m dropping parker bc i have no muse but who knows he might be back one day!
@parker: thanks
fellow associate,
happy january 31st !! as much as i would LOVE to make a big deal about today and celebrate the fact that today is the reason i get to kiss your angry little face whenever i want, it’s YOUR day and you hate that. so instead you will find enclosed
a copy of the 20th anniversary vinyl edition of nimrod
a weird leather jacket i found in germany that made me think of you
the shirt because i couldn’t NOT
there’s a photo of something that’s not technically for you but like… it’s part of your present.
tickets to see mayday parade is glasgow on february 16th
and like also a cooking lesson with gordon ramsey (NOT a big deal he knew my parents and is a family friend DON’T freak out at me plus he’s just going to call you names the whole time so not really a present just entertainment for me).
with regards,
your associate stas.
(p.s, i know it’s hedgehog wrapping paper, i couldn’t find porcupines anywhere.)
@marniealmeida: @parker omg like buffy the vampire slayer but sid the racoon slayer?
@parker: @marniealmeida nah i don't think sid could slay a raccoon. he's more like an enemy who doesn't actually do shit but idk what kind of animal that would be
@marniealmeida: @parker is this sid guy splinter from ninja turtles?
@parker: @marniealmeida sid is more like something that hunts raccoons. like shredder i guess? so sid is...human?
@marniealmeida: @parker idk who sid is but dope i love a racoon suer
@parker: @marniealmeida weird but raccoon suer sounds like sewer raccoon. you know like splinter from the ninja turtles
HB.
-Spidey
I hope this gets to you on time!! I hope you have a very blessed day! I miss you very much! I hope these made you smile.
Love,
Wren Daily
@marniealmeida: @parker take care of him
@parker: @marniealmeida if the raccoons get anywhere near him then sid will sue
Parker,
Happy birthday bro! I never not see you tweet about Gordon Ramsay so heres a signed poster of him for you to hang up on your wall you fan boy, as well as a versace guitar strap because it looked fuckin’ sick.
Have an awesome day mate, catch up soon!
- Mason
@parker: cardgord ramsay
happy birthday racoon man
it’s a gordon ramsay cardboard cutout
-marnie x