probably correct dangan quotes

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Hagakure (singing): I can show you the world~

Asahina: I don’t wanna see it

Hagakure (still singing): Okay....

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Kaede mispronounces “Pianist”

Kaede: I am Kaede Akamatsu, world famous composer, and pianist! (Pronounced like the medical term for the Male genitals) Kokichi: You’re a what? Kaede: A pianist! Kokichi: Mwah, Goodnight everybody! Kaede: But that’s what I am, a pianist! Kokichi: I think I’ve heard enough out of you!

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Yukizome: Can we talk about the email that you just sent to everyone?

Ryota: It was a critical update.

Yukizome: It just says 'I’m back on my bullshit.'

Ryota: The people need to know.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Komaeda: I finally got my average resting heart rate down to 65 beats per minute.

Komaeda: Only 65 more to go.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Ryoma: Why are you helping me?

Shuichi: Because my life is a mess and I instinctively help others when I don’t know how to take care of myself.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Yukizome: It’s like the two of you share one brain cell sometimes!

Juzo: *Can’t think of a good comeback because it’s not his turn to use the brain cell*

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Maki: Listen, I really need you to relax.

Kaito, while banging his fist on the table: HOW CAN IT BE ‘BIRTHDAY CAKE’ FLAVOURED IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOUR!?

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Ishimaru: I’m not going to be mad, just tell me why you have a fake ID.

Chihiro: *incoherent mumbling*

Ishimaru: What was that?

Chihiro: You have to be over 18 to hold the puppies at petco.

Ishimaru: …

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Kirumi: Shuichi. Where’s Kokichi?

Shuichi: Doing stuff.

Kirumi: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Kaito?

Shuichi: Trying to stop Kokichi from doing the stuff.

Kirumi: Angie?

Shuichi: Trying to stop Kaito from stopping Kokichi from doing the stuff.

Kirumi: I see. And what are you doing here, Shuichi?

Shuichi, nervously: … I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Angie from stopping Kaito from stopping Kokichi from doing the stuff.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Togami: This plan of yours, one assumes it is entirely legal?

Makoto: Of course!

Leon: Entirely!

Togami: Right… Wasn’t here. Didn’t know about it. Couldn’t have stopped you.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Chiaki: Where’s Hinata?

Ibuki: I don’t know. He left.

Chiaki: What? Why?

Ibuki: We were watching Spongebob, and he stood up and said “life is too short” and walked out.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Maki: Tell me a random thing about space.

Kaito: Abraham Lincoln is president of Mars.

Maki: What the fuck?

Kaito: I don’t know, Ouma said it and it’s been haunting me since.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Tenko: I’m going to get soup.

Kirumi: Be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot.

Tenko, leaving the room: Pff. I’m not going to burn myself.

[30 seconds later]

Tenko, entering the room: I burned myself.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Shuichi: Ouma, if you’re lying, so help me god…

Kokichi: I’m not lying! Gonta saw it too.

Shuichi: Gonta is easily led.

Gonta: Thank you.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Hinata: This job will require a bit of muscle, so I figured Akane should do it.

Souda: What? No. I should do it. I’m a man.

Fuyuhiko: That’s debatable.

Souda: Well, I’m more man than Akane.

Akane: I don’t accept that.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Shuichi: I think Miu is in trouble.

Kokichi: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if i’m honest.

[probablycorrectdanganquotes]

Makoto: This isn’t the weirdest thing to happen to me today.

Kyosuke: Well, the day just started.