a whole lot of chaos

small but mighty!!! genderfluid (use whatever pronouns you want to refer to me) and bisexual happy to be here :) i wish the best to everyone!!!

[probablytoasty]

Bio .・゜-: ✧☾　☽✧ :-゜・.

hi!!!!!! welcome to my blog :D

you can call me toasty, probablytoasty, toast, etc and this is my first blog. lowk until now this has been entirely made of reposts but i want to try actually posting for once. probs going to be a lot of stuff for whatever my current hyperfixation is and the music artists I like (shoutout katseye!!!)

i love making friends so don't be afraid of dropping into my askbox or messages :)

ummmm I don't really know how to do this yet so there'll probably be some updates to this post soon as I figure out what I want to do. im lowk a ranter (school is hard and i am easily frustrated) so just scroll if you don’t feel like reading that

important: I AM A MINOR. DNI if you are a nsfw blog, homophobic, racist, transphobic, ableist, or creepy in general (you WILL be blocked). this is a SAFE SPACE for venting and talking about mental health and other struggles, trust me i've been there.

if you need help:

https://www.tumblr.com/probablytoasty/817415948648710144/pearcult-ok-so-this-post-is-extremely-long-and

we're all doing our best out here on this giant floating space rock, so please be kind

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

fun facts about me:

☆ I play softball and field hockey

☆ I love reading (yes fanfic too, honestly more than regular books lol)

☆ music is my #1 favorite thing in the world so if anyone has any tips on singing/dancing/playing instruments (I'm trying to learn as many as I can) or recommendations they are very much welcome!!!

☆ i doodle and write on occasion

☆ my katseye bias is sophia

☆ huge fan of marvel and certain dc characters (*cough cough* cass cain *cough*)

anyway welcome and enjoy :)))

[probablytoasty]

guess who’s sick again

[mayzini]

i should become one of those tiktok ranters i have so much to bitch about all the time

[acidtheater]

Most annoying online emotion is "I have a funny personal anacdote to add to this but it doxxes like all of my personal information"

[stealingpotatoes]

happy pride month <3

(commission info // tip jar!)

[probablytoasty]

vent post, you've been warned

this fucking blows. this sucks. i feel like i need to scream curses at the void and break shit and punch things. im mad. IM MAD and i cant say shit about it because i should have expected it anyway, but FUCK. fuck. im angry and frustrated and sad and im crying like a fucking idiot. and for what? because i had the unfortunate luck to be born too small, with shitty lungs and a defective brain? every source ive checked has said the same thing: adhd disqualifies. asthma disqualifies. anxiety disqualifies. you need to be taller. you need to be in a better state of mind. the options are get diagnosed and lose whatever chance I had left, or be without any sort of accomodation for the rest of my life. not that im not doing that right now anyway. every time- every fucking time i figure anything out it gets ripped out from under me. and i cant complain because i still have it better than so many people. but im still mad as hell and im still upset and im still crying like a fucking baby because once i started it triggered the coughing and its like a stupid endless fucking cycle because i feel the cough and im reminded. i cant lie about any of it and i cant shake it off and i cant change it. god. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. i just have to go about my day and do my stupid homework my sister wont stop bothering me about and go to practice with the girls--my girls--who im going to lose soon and ill probably never see some of them again and pretend that none of this matters and nothing bothers me and i dont care that the only jobs that ever really felt right to me just sank down the drain. im an idiot and a coward and a bitch and i should have seen this coming but i didnt and now theres nothing i can do about it and IM ANGRY. IM MAD AND SCARED AND SAD AND IM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. im sick of all of it getting in the way. im sick of having to use that stupid fucking inhaler and not being able to get any work done or pay attention in class. i hate that i need a stool to reach shit. i hate that i need to remind myself that making one mistake wont cause every friend ive ever had to abandon me and i hate how apathetic i feel and i hate mood swings and i hate that nobody notices but i dont know how to let them in anyway so maybe its better. im sick of being sick. i just wanted it to work this time. just this once, i wanted it to work out. but i get bitten in the ass every fucking time and im tired. i just want it to stop. i dont want it to hurt anymore. i really wanted it and its gone.

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[probablytoasty]

went to lowe’s with my dad this morning and we were standing in the soil section wondering which one to get and then this very clearly lgbtq woman came up to us and told us which one to get and how to supplement with coffee grounds and eggshells and like. the fact that i didn’t question ONCE like in my head i really went “yeah that’s a queer we can trust the garden advice” and it worked 😭

[faustique]

there's a special place in my heart for people who made an effort to be my friend regardless of how quiet or distant i can get at times

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags if you can remember where you got the shirt you're currently wearing.

[probablytoasty]

guess who just watched breakfast club for the first time!! :D

[deathgasmic]

who else is up permanently feeling like they did something Wrong

[hazemsuhail]

Israel has not honored the ceasefire for a single moment.

It has completely ignored President Trump’s peace plan, operating without restraint and entirely outside the bounds of any law, doing exactly as it pleases.

[hazemsuhail]

Since the supposed "ceasefire" began, more than 900 martyrs have fallen in the Gaza Strip at the hands of the Israeli occupation.

[hazemsuhail]

My brother Samer is racing against time. From a life-threatening coma due to a lack of bipolar medication to severe injuries from a devastating bombing. He is now caught between waiting for urgent medical travel and struggling to survive on limited medications.

Please, we need your help to save his life.🙏

[hazemsuhail]

Please! Help Samer by donating! If you are unable to, at least - like, comment and share this post!

[probablytoasty]

holy yapper

[probablytoasty]

i dont think anyone on here keeps up with ncaa softball but im watching the arkansas vs nebraska game rn and this umpire is fucking SENDING me like every time she calls a strike it sounds like shes shrieking and im actually cackling rn

[honeyapplebutterfly]

IT IS AWESOME TO BE GAY AND FEMALE AND JEWISH AND LOUD AND UNAPOLOGETIC

[mayzini]

one of these days I’m gonna learn how to have regular emotions and then it will be over for all of you