Question: Can you tell us about effective aftercare?
This is a really great question and something that I am passionate about. I think that if you are going to work over a boy’s bottom, you have a responsibility as a Dom to care for him. You need to invest the proper amount of time after the spanking to make him (1) understand the spanking, (2) know that you still care about him, and (3) recognize the bond between you two.
As I have mentioned before, there is a difference between erotic and disciplinary spanking. Erotic spanking is more fun and foreplay teasing between a Dom and boy. Aftercare does not apply in the same manner with one exception. My thoughts here are primarily based on the disciplinary needs of aftercare, unless it is a particularly long and intense erotic spanking then aftercare applies.
Firstly, I want to address that exception, and it applies to a first time spanking. It is important to recognize that there is a very important difference in aftercare between a first spanking and ordinary spanking. The first time can, and usually is, very intense for a boy. You need to go slow. You need him to understand where you are going (this is usually done with a count goal). It is likely that he will tear up a little bit. You definitely need to spend some time with aftercare.
So, what is aftercare? Aftercare is the act of supporting a boy post-spanking by reaffirming the rationale for the spanking and ensuring that boy still recognizes your commitment to him.
What is it important? After a spanking, a boy is likely to be worn down and even a little depressed, especially if you made it clear that you are disappointed in him. Let me give you a visual example to illustrate the importance.
Imagine a scenario where a boy has done something to deeply disappoint you. You then proceed to spank him and provide additional verbal cues during the spanking (e.g. “You have deeply disappointed me”, “This is not the behavior that I expect out of you”, “You need to start behaving like a good boy”, “Are you just trying to waste my time?”). Such an activity is designed to get inside a boy’s head and institute an emotional response with the intention that he will not repeat this activity in the future.
Now imagine that following the session: The Dom just got up and walked out of the room at the end. Not a word to the boy. He is left alone. In such a position, a boy would likely feel lost, alone, and unsure of himself.
As a Dom, you do not want such environment to exist.
Aftercare is taking the step to properly reinforce the purpose of the spanking, which is to make him a better boy.
Here are my thoughts on effective aftercare
1. As the absolute first thing you need to do after the spanking, you need to tell the boy that he is a “Good Boy.” The spanking is over. He accepted his punishment. All of the bad things are gone. They are over with. This means that you do not get to hold it over his head. He has redeemed himself. It lets him know that he is good and you both are ready to move forward.
2. The next step is up to you, but I honestly believe that the second thing you should do is hug your boy. Wrap your arms around him. You told him that he is a good boy, but now you show him. You let him feel your warm. Let him feel that you still care. He can hold onto you. Let him cry if he wants. Just take that moment.
3. Followed by a conversation. Tell him that you are proud of him. But also take a moment and ask, “Do you understand why you were spanked?” I think that is important to have that communication. You are using spanking to correct behavior. It is helpful to ensure that he knows and has learned.
4. The next couple steps really depend on you. If it is hard spanking, I might rub some lotion on his ass to soothe it. I might cuddle up with a boy. Just to take some time together.
5. Some advocate a warm drink. I think a calming moment is helpful.
6. Once things calm down, reinstate something playful! Just to show him that all is well. it doesn’t have to be a big production. Something fun for both of you. E.g. cocksucking. tickling. Making out. etc.
I hope this is helpful. Bottom line: You need to invest time in your boy. Aftercare is important. It makes the spanking more effective in the long run and it ensure the strength of your boy.
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
jbbartram-illu
germansingergirl
