Using this blog for the first time in *checks date on last post* 4 years to complain about the fact that it will deeply disappoint my parents if they know I'm looking outside of Christianity for even an ounce of faith.
Like, I feel like they at least got the chance to explore their options even tho they obviously both grew up culturally christian, just w/o a firm sense of denomination. And it feels like I'm not allowed to have that chance bc they think they got it right the first time for me. Like putting together a lego set before I could even look at it. And following that metaphor, oh sure they may be okay with me taking it apart and making a slightly different shape, but at the end of the day it always has to go back to that first shape. They won't accept a final answer that isn't some flavor of Christianity.
I'm just so tired of pretending. I've come to realize that my feelings about major tenets of Christianity, like original sin, Hell, Jesus, are held the same way my feelings about gender were: I was told this is what we believed, everyone around me agreed this was the way, so that's just what I went with. When I actually sit down and examine my own feelings and beliefs, I find out I'm playing a part because it is easy.
