let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
cherry valley forever
pixel skylines
Sweet Seals For You, Always
almost home
Not today Justin
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
titsay
The Bowery Presents
Love Begins
PR's Tumblrdome
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
bliss lane
NASA
𓃗
Sade Olutola
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms
macklin celebrini has autism
noise dept.
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@profanecheese-blog
“I decided to go join the birds. I eat lots of bread already and I’m tired of fighting. Goodbye!”
bob’s burgers // accepting
John nodded, sensible expression intact. It seemed like a sound enough plan if not for one glaring issue. Rather it was glaring to him. “Not to piss on your bird parade or anything but---don’t they fight over mates? I mean, they do all that prancin’ around trying to get some action.”
“They closed it, remember? That guy died.”
bob’s burgers // accepting
“They WHAT?” Shock scrunched his expression until he stopped to think about that name, rolled it around a few times in his head. “Wait---that’s the guy who owned the barbecue truck, right? Fuck, I thought you were talking about the burrito stand guy. I was about to lose my shit.” That burrito stand was the one saving grace of this piss poor town.
@thatradiodial
continued from x
“seems so.” nadiya sighs, as if she’s bored to be there. to be fair, it’s quite boring when you’re hog- tied to a near-stranger in a near-pitch black room with seemingly no escape. further analysis of the room doesn’t give her any hope, either: high ceilings, no windows, a single door with no holes. “any ideas?”
John squints into the dark, not able to make out much of anything. It seems like a futile situation unless Dave or someone she knows comes barreling in there with a knife or perhaps a good pair scissors to get them apart. He gives a little wriggle, testing the bonds. “Not real. . .” he trails off as a sudden thought crosses his mind. “Question. Well, two. Where are your hands tied and what are they tied with?”
BOB’S BURGERS S5 SENTENCE STARTERS
“Half bumper car, half go-kart, ALL BALLS!” “I’ll be like Al Capone with breasts.” “Hard to hate a guy who gives you raisins!” “If I’m online, I’m looking at sloths!” “One hall pass to rule them all!” “I don’t think you can handle how much I can handle this.” “I guess when you’re hall monitor, you have to leave your feelings in your locker.” “It’s all interesting! Each pile tells a story. For example, last night Rena had chicken. The end!” “That’s my stage name…Cookie Secrets!” “Stronger and gayer than ever. That’s our motto.” “Don’t you cankle me!” “BOB MARLEY, GIVE ME STRENGTH!” “A no is a yes turned upside down.” “There you are my stinky princess!” “I decided to go join the birds. I eat lots of bread already and I’m tired of fighting. Goodbye!” “I’m allergic to geese and ducks!” “It’s the turkey’s turn to rule the Earth now. We had our chance and we blew it!” “They closed it, remember? That guy died.” “The real tragedy is that I don’t have time to get nachos before we start.” “Sturdy and purdy!” “All the losers get stickers! Stickers of shame!” “Why are you running if you don’t want to? Just tell the teacher you have sciatica.” “My butt is dry and strong.” “She got catfished by a box!” “He dumped you? I’m gonna kill him…again!” “Are we holding hands? I can’t really tell.” “Two days until trick or treating. What am I supposed to eat until then? Other food?” “Never trust a boy with a skateboard! They’re too fast!” “Why is no one singing? Why is no one dancing? What’s wrong with Hollywood?!” “I’m the alpha turkey!”
monstralized:
“Belonging to the Morrison family. You don’t fucking say ‘the Morrisons family’ because the plurality is implied, shit-heel.” My own beer is snatched up seconds after my point is given, like a pacifier stuck into a crying baby’s mouth. We both sounded like broken fucking records. “Just admit I’m right, its been four goddamn years.”
A noise escaped him; something between a scoff, a huff, and some other noise of disgust. It was doubtful there would ever be an end to this argument. “No. Today is not the day we discuss the terms of my surrender. It’s not happening.” But he was getting tired of rehashing the same points---for today, at least.
well well well. if it isn’t my old friend, the dawning realization that i fucked up real bad
monstralized:
“Wow, and they say chivalry is dead.” I shook my head at him, making my way into the dingy bar. Welcomed heat hit my face like a wall, sweat immediately pearling up at my neckline, “Thanks.” It was as mocking as it was serious. A serious thank you because I knew he didn’t like doing this, didn’t like the enduring reminder that this day brought—that I wasn’t the real David Wong. It was inescapable when it was written in front of him in cold, hard, frosting.
I fell into the stool next to John, nudging him with my elbow when I saw the oversized wad he’d pulled out, trying not to stare at him. How does he do it? How does he manage to always have when you have nothing? I knew the answer was a seedy combination ‘a better paying job’ and ‘scamming the gullible morons’. “Why? Just ‘cause I’m your unemployed boyfriend, and it’s my birthday, and you feel bad for me? ‘Cause I mean, if that’s the case I could probably scrounge up some change for my own drinks.”
The joke was delivered flatly and I ordered a pitcher of Sam Adams and a round of shots, to show him how not-serious about that I was. “You know, just to start, I figure.” I poured two tall glasses from the cool, plastic pitcher, “I could stand to go a few rounds.” Even on such a major night, it seemed that the crowds found it too biting for it to be worth spending it in a bar like this one. The bar wasn’t empty, not by any means, but we seemed to be the only small group in attendance, everyone else having either brought their whole party here. Some of them looked to have joined these groups when they arrived, as if by kismet.
“So—is this place special or something? Is there a reason we’re not at, like, Head’s party or something? Did Head finally snap and kill Macky?” The two’s on-again-off-again thing had turned into a running joke for us, but I occasionally thought about that, about him actually losing his shit. Yeah, ‘cause maybe if he did, you’d stop being the crazy one.
The joke sparked a grin which was only made worse by the promise of more rounds--even if it was at his expense to keep the drinks flowing. Whether it was spent on Dave’s birthday or more selfishly for himself, the money would’ve been blown either way. John didn’t need an invitation to help himself, and fingers immediately grasped the glass meant for him. Drinking it down was like water to a fish; almost instinctual and every bit natural for him. The glass was close to being halfway drained already when he lowered it.
”No.” As far as John knew, but a lot could have happened between now and the last time he’d spoke to the pair. “Head’s having the party at his mom’s house, and I’ve been permanently banned from the premises, so . . .” Broad shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. That’d been a no-go from the start, but he’d faced worse disappointments. “Guess you’re stuck with me in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere---unless you’ve got a better idea.” The latter remark wasn’t spoken with the tone of someone who wants to be outdone but rather someone who would be glad to hear a better options.
@monstralized
Most bars in Undisclosed qualified as dive bars, and this one was no different. It was a place with sticky floors, greasy counters, poor lighting, and smoggy atmosphere thanks to the smoking section. But it beat sitting at home in the same ass indentions on the couch and watching fireworks on network television. At least, that was John kept telling himself as they trudged towards the entrance, merely dreaming the possible warmth indoors. His hands were balled deep into his coat pockets, but nothing could keep out the bone deep chill in the air.
“After you---” he almost said sweet cheeks and caught himself at the last possible second. That wouldn’t have gone over well. “---birthday boy.” There was a hearty clap delivered to Dave’s shoulder before he pulled the door back, a battered bell overhead clattering against the glass. There were more people in the booths and hanging around the bar than he expected. But then John remembered, for what felt like the sixth time that day, that it was New Year’s Eve and not David’s original birthday. “Whatever you want’s on me,” he muttered as they settled in at the bar and pulled out a wad of cash, prepared to peel off whatever amount necessary.
monstralized:
“Now, I know and you know I said nothing even remotely similar.”
“You didn’t. But does that make it any less true?”
monstralized:
“But you’re still saying you’d bang a frog. To be clear…frog fucker.”
“And---to be clear---you were all okay with some Cinderella pumpkin dick action, so I think we’re even.”
dvffy:
“but does it count? i don’t wanna wind up scoring half a point on a technicality. what if he’s ugly? then it’s all your fault.”
“It counts---and honestly, you just drank a whole bottle of wine. You’re not gonna know if he’s ugly or not until the next morning, and that’s not my problem.”
‘It’s something a crazy person says.’
LWT // accepting
“Oh, because everyone else has a PHD in normal? Most people don’t even know the tip of the iceberg of crazy.”
‘In this context, we should all be relevant regardless of our questionable life choices.’
LWT // accepting
One hand had disappeared into the depths of a chip bag while the other held a smoldering joint. Perhaps there would be some irony, some humor, to be found in what Dave said if he could think beyond how good these chips were and how badly he wanted to grab another beer. “Run that one by me again.”
‘Oh. That’s convenient.’
LWT // accepting
“Convenient and down right spooky, dude.” They’d been wandering through the woods for at least an hour with no sense of direction, and suddenly a sign of civilization just as the clouds decided to open up and threaten a downpour? It seemed almost....orchestrated. John backpedaled a couple steps, fingers instinctively tightening around the Bible Belter. “Look, I wanna get out the rain as much as anybody, but this is giving me a real Cabin in the Woods vibe. Let’s just find the Bronco and get out of here before Sigourney Weaver shows up.”
Goes to the gym at least six times a week. Wears both shoes with no socks on his feet. And I hear he’s on a new diet and watches what he eats.
@dvffy
continued from X
“that’s easy! but, i mean, does it count if i leave with the host? it should– it does, actually. i just decided.”
“Whatever blows your hair back, dude. I’m not a man to get in the way of a man trying to get a man.”
