I think I am okay mentally enough to say this:
On August 1st, I unfortunately had to put Shiba, my cat, to sleep. Her health was rapidly declining, to the point she could no longer controlled when she expelled waste. I have been coping when fronting by either playing Tears of the Kingdom…or just laying doing nothing until someone took over fronting.
I won’t lie, I am still not over her death, especially knowing that I had been keeping her alive for selfish reasons. In truth, the moment her seizures started happening four times a day should have been the moment I knew it was her time.
But I kept telling myself “I can make her better, I just gotta keep working on her.” There was no way she would get better. When Bitta Baby, my dad’s cat, was put to sleep, I held her but hardly shed a tear.
I still sob over Shiba. Her death was probably the only time I could show grief normally. Shiba was the one to keep my anxiety down, and the one to comfort me when I couldn’t ask anyone else.
Even after nearly a week of mourning her loss, I am still unsure how long it will take me to recover. I don’t think I ever will.
I had a cat before her named BB. Like Shiba, he too was a black cat. But unlike Shiba, he was never put down. Instead, after we inherited more cats, BB decided to leave our family and live with a different family (my sperm donor of a father confirmed BB started living with neighbors a few houses down the road).
But with Shiba, her death was personal. I think that’s why I haven’t recovered yet. I know when Shiba died, she took a piece of me with her.
You are probably wondering why I am letting you all know this. It’s because I have been silent this entire time, staying off social media as I grieved. This hiatus will most likely last longer.
What this will mean: If I am on social media, it will be only to either talk to close friends or check up on current events. If you didn’t know, Professional Shitpost is ancient by internet standards, starting not long after my school email was given to me.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. But after Shiba’s death, I had more time to think:
I am going to start distancing myself from Professional Shitpost. I will still use it as a storage place and to post art, but from now on I will begin the transition to talking to close friends only on my new main.
As for that new main? I am not revealing it. I’m sorry, but I only want those that are either close friends or already knew about my soon to be main to follow me.
Like I said, I won’t abandon this account for good, my creations will still exist. But if you spot a different account with my art style, congratulations, you rediscovered me.
Tldr: Shiba died, and I am moving accounts semi-secretly so Professional Shitpost’s multiyear baggage doesn’t follow me.
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
