Why the fuck would you go big when u can go home

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AnasAbdin
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@professionalhayniac
Why the fuck would you go big when u can go home
Mahershala Ali + burger + tiny dog, GQ shoot
I wanna be in love but also yikes
new candy idea
pop rocks but they kill you
gunpowder
cashier: sorry for your wait. we’re short-staffed today
millennial: oh that’s ok no worries :)
baby boomer:
People: *showering me with compliments* Me: okay but what about that one negative comment I received June 6th 2003 ? Im trash sweetie
me giving my pet chihuahua two kisses: chimuahmuah
sorry that it didnt make you chihaha
Pizza? Never heard of it.
me: not today, satan
satan: you’ve been canceling our plans for weeks now. if it’s something i said, please just tell me
I’m convinced that some girls with ponytails move their heads a little more enthusiastically because they like how their ponytails swing around.
you: candle in the wind, elton john
me, an intellectual: 5000 candles in the wind, andy dwyer