#GrowingUpWith StrictParents

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[growingupwithstrictparents]

I started this account pretty much as soon as I moved out of (i.e. ran away from) my parents’ house. I was still so close to the situation that I truly believed everything that occurred was “normal” for growing up with strict parents.

After years of therapy, self reflection, further family conflict, and years of personal growth I can now with full confidence say that it wasn’t. It isn’t. And it’s not okay. I see myself in so many of you and I just want to say that your feelings are valid.

I don’t tell my story often, but one of the instances that I chose to share bits and pieces I had a grown man get upset with me because “oh *scoff* so they weren’t actually abusive, just strict.” I wasn’t at the place of healing I am now so I didn’t reply. I found a reason to end the discussion and sunk back into myself.

If that discussion happened today? No. Absolutely not. No one gets to do that to me anymore. I will NOT allow myself to be gaslighted. I know what happened. Not being able to go to the mailbox at the end of the driveway without announcing you were about to do so AND WAITING FOR THE GO AHEAD at 20 years old is NOT normal. Was anything actually keeping me from leaving? No. So why didn’t I leave? Sneak out at 16? 17? Ignore them, get in a fight, and accept being grounded? I was programmed to have a crippling fear of displeasing or going against my mother. Mine never even hit me and I can only think of one instance of losing computer privileges. They couldn’t ground me because it was my life.

I could go on but the point I initially wanted to make was that please know that even though I will continue to use the “growing up with strict parents” hashtag, I know your stories aren’t of those with strict parents. Mental abuse is abuse! I see you. I believe you. And my inbox is open to you.

Edit: I think at a certain point I was just rambling/venting but hopefully you get the idea

[growingupwithstrictparents]

Sending love and good vibes to everyone who still finds comfort here.🖤

[growingupwithstrictparents]

#2025 Should I bring it back?

[growingupwithstrictparents]

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your mom’s job.

[growingupwithstrictparents]

It is NOT your responsibility to fix the relationship with your parents! You don’t ever have to fix said relationship.

I tried, and I mean truly tried, and failed for YEARS before I finally snapped and screamed at my father in my parents’ driveway, letting years of resentment spew out of my mouth (10/10 but definitely do not recommend)

And you know what? He denied all of it. Said he was tired of me blaming everything on other people. Walked away and said “I’m not listening to this.”

You can do absolutely everything in your power and it still not be enough. Until they’re ready to heal and accept their own issues you’re only delaying your own healing trying to fix a relationship you didn’t break.

[relaxxattack]

not to be a kid with strict parents.... but im literally sitting here like... hey ranboo you good? you good man? i know you got your food but are you good? did they say anything that made you panicky or anxious? did they raise their voices at all? were they judgmental enough that now you’re scared to order food again? are— are you good dude?

[growingupwithstrictparents]

Me: can I got to a friend's house? Parents: No. They can only come over here

Look on the bright side, at least that’s something! I wasn’t allowed either. I can only think of 2 or 3 times I was allowed to have a friend over to my house. Still sucks though.

[growingupwithstrictparents]

why did I say this???

How is that a bright side😭

[itsannebytheway]

On growing up in a conservative household

I live in an über-conservative household where wearing shorts outside the house is strictly prohibited. My father is so traditional, that every time my sister and I would go out of the house wearing shorts, he would give us this look that meant to say, “I have disowned you”. It, honestly, is like Gandalf saying *cue the British accent* “You shall not pass!” That’s not the worst part. My childhood was spent mostly on just staying at home after school. I get off at 2-3PM and when I’m not home right away, it’d be like a scene in crime movies where the guilty ones sit with nothing but just the spot light on (”Where were you the night of February 13th?”). We were not allowed to drink alcohol. We were not allowed to do sleepovers unless the sleepover is at home. I mean, c’mon. Kids need their space away from the ‘rents too, right? But I never had that–unless the school would require a camp-out or there’d be a retreat to some far away place that you’d never want to go home. I’d be like William Wallace shouting “Freedom!” at the top of my lungs all the time. I think sometimes now that I’ve grown up, these are the reasons why whenever I go out with friends, I’d feel like a wild girl. I literally felt like a late-bloomer when I was in college and I still feel like it up to this day now that I’m 31. It only goes to show that these are definitely pointers on how NOT to raise a child. Give them the freedom that they somewhat deserve. When things turn to shit, at least they’ll realize how much they need their parents beside them and who knows? They might never leave the nest because they love you so much.

[my-chaotic-soul]

I am so fucking tired of this stupid message of "Be nice to your parents, they only want what's best for you! And if you don't you're a narcissistic selfish brat!"

You see it everywhere. Books to movies to TV shows to videos on the internet and I. Am. Sick. Of. It.

For any kid from abusive households, you are not a narcissist because you don't want to be your parents therapist at 12. You're not selfish when you refuse to see them. You're not a monster if you go no contact. And you aren't a brat if you refuse to be a slave. Your parents deserve all that and more, and more importantly, you deserve happiness.

How come there's never a message saying "Be nice to your children. Don't body shame them. Don't hit them. Don't yell at them. Don't be abusive. If you wouldn't do it to a pet then don't do it to a child."

BE NICE TO YOUR FUCKING KIDS.

And if you feel attacked by this, you're abusive. No, I don't take feedback or criticism. Go shove it up your asshole.

[growingupwithstrictparents]

It’s so funny how my mom told me that my family wouldn’t care if I was dead if I committed :)

I would care.

[growingupwithstrictparents]

17 years. 17 years and i am still stuck. i have never ever been outside alone. even with others, i am not allowed to go out much. it's pretty painful and makes me sick. i am a free spirit and very often people don't seem to understand how i feel this way about this place. a home is supposed to make you feel safe. this feels like fucking prison. i just want to get out of here and breathe some fresh air and go wherever the hell i want. but that's nowhere near in the future and i am sick of it. i am probably ADHD and highlyy sensitive. no one seems to care shit about me/anything other than my grades. trust me, not a very nice thing growing up in the most misogynistic country in the word. really really wish i was born in a 1st world country. i wouldnt have 90% of the problems i do now lol. it makes me sad knowing i lost my youth just like that. cant wait to get out of this shitty place, i am losing patience.

I am so sorry I didn’t see this sooner and have no idea how long ago this was posted. If you see this please feel free to message me. My heart breaks for you and if there is any possible way for me to help I will do so in a heartbeat.

[oniqxe]

What your parents teach you

Things strict parents think they’re teaching you:

-How to behave

What they actually teach you:

-How to listen for footsteps

-How to appear busy

-How to manipulate someone into calming down

-How to lie on the spot

[stupid-introvert-kid]

fun; not really

You know, the sad thing about having strict parents and going out is that you can’t even enjoy going out just for a second  without getting shouted and scolded at. 

[thingssheloves-deactivated20151]

[eibmozotco]

“Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you’re not as terrible as you think you are." 

[deejay]

[growingupwithstrictparents]

[growingupwithstrictparents]

I just want to share that it's so uncomfortable for me to bring my friends over or for me to go some place where I'm invited (which is like rare). My parents make a huge deal out of the idea of me going out of the house. My friends everytime go like "hey what's the big deal come on", but though I'm just used to it, it still fucking hurts

I used to prep people before they got there... and by people I mean two friends I had over on two different occasions.😒

It does hurt. Your feelings are valid.❤️