ASUO Progressive Problems

A collection of bitter memes about Progressive students' experiences with the University of Oregon's student government, the ASUO. We curate most of the posts here, but submissions are highly encouraged. We try to maintain a strong social justice lens, but if you spot something problematic, please call us out.

[progressiveprobs]

When Scott Coltrane feeds you a line of bullshit

[Image description: animated .gif showing Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. The gif shows only his face as he speaks, saying: “The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.”]

[progressiveprobs]

Seeing Lusby enter a room like

[Image description: animated .gif showing the character Mabel in Gravity Falls.  She has a rotating red light on her head, is holding an airhorn in each hand, and is wearing a sign reading “Weeaboo Alert!”]

[progressiveprobs]

The HECC refusing to pass the Board of Trustees’ 10% tuition hike

[Image description: animated .gif showing Emma Watson in Harry Potter.  She is in stands with a crowd of people and throws her arms into the air cheering.]

[progressiveprobs]

When the Emerald decides to use their power not to criticize the BoT or Admin, but instead to tone police Vickie

[Image description: animated .gif showing Simon Pegg in Shaun of the Dead.  There is a person to his left and right. He shouts “get fucked!” (displayed in subtitles) and turns to the person on his right.]

[progressiveprobs]

When the Emerald publishes faux-intellectual articles criticizing UO For You running unopposed

[Image description: animated .gif showing Steve Carell in The Office. He is speaking, and his words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “Why are you the way that you are?”]

No one else bothered to run, but who gives a shit about honest reporting?

[progressiveprobs]

4th Year Progressives seeing that Amy/Moderate Progressives are running unopposed

[Image description: animated .gif showing Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man 2. He turns around in a chair and speaks to someone behind him.  His words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “I don’t know if I’m jealous or aroused.”]

[progressiveprobs]

Zach Lusby desperately trying to stay relevant when his terms almost up

(Submission)

[Image description: animated .gif showing a person in a bowling alley, yelling so intensely that veins are popping out of their neck.  Their words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “Pay attention to me!!!”]

[progressiveprobs]

When the Elections Board fails to get a timeline out to campaigns until a few days before elections begin

[Image description: animated .gif showing two people on a boat.  The one in front points to a watch on his wrist, saying: “Hey! There’s this new thing we have called a ‘schedule.’”]

[progressiveprobs]

Hearing that Amy Schenk agreed to run for President

[Image description: animated .gif showing Laurence Fishburne in The Matrix.  He reveals his face by turning as lightning flashes, smiles, and says “At last.”]

[progressiveprobs]

Hearing that Hao Tan is running a “progressive greek” campaign for himself as president

[Image description: animated .gif showing Joel McHale in Community.  He is angrily pointing his finger and speaking, and his words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “That is not a thing.”]

[progressiveprobs]

Exec is just now starting to realize admin isn’t our friend and that admin has secret meetings without them

[Image description: animated .gif showing Robert Downey Jr. in Sherlock Holmes.  He is speaking, and his words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “Now we have a firm grasp of the obvious.”]

[progressiveprobs]

Finding out that Martin recommended freezing/decreasing the budgets for all the student groups, including Mujeres

(Submission)

[Image description: animated .gif showing Danny Tamberelli dressed in a futuristic suit and headset.  Tamberelli speaks into the microphone, then switches it off.  Their words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “It was nice knowing you, traitor.”]

[progressiveprobs]

When Tess Mor is nice to you and you know it's because she wants something and she's gearing up for campaigns

(Submission)

[Image description: animated .gif showing Jeremy Piven in Entourage. He places his hand on his face, then speaks. His words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “Get out.”]

[progressiveprobs]

when the least qualified people get elected into positions of power because they have connections, privilege, and entitlement:

(Submission)

[Image description: animated .gif showing Lisa in The Simpsons. She is seated at a desk and is yelling. Her words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “The whole damn system is wrong! *Screams*”]

[progressiveprobs]

White progressives when their jackass liberal friends split off into their own campaign

[Image description: animated .gif showing Jake Johnson in New Girl.  They run out of a room, turn around to run back, then stops and shouts. His words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “Shit! I don’t know what to do!”]

[progressiveprobs]

When Zach Rentschler claimed the money he accepted from Turning Point USA wouldn’t influence his politics

[Image description: animated .gif showing Nicholas Fraser in their “Why You Always Lying” video.  Fraser is holding onto a fence and lifting himself off the ground.  He raises and crosses his legs as he tips his head towards the camera]

[progressiveprobs]

Abraham coming up to your tent to explain the 17 things he fucked up that day

[Image description: animated .gif showing Emily Blunt and Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.  They are walking down a hallway as Streep speaks, and their words are displayed in subtitles as follows: “Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”]