Chapter one: Mortem Serena pt.1
Rain, I remember. The night was cold, dark. Looking up to the sky, a purple-blue color. So strange yet beautiful. I feel the cold water beneath my feet.
Where am I going? Why am I out so late at night? I continue almost as if I was sleepwalking. My mind, empty. No thoughts cross through my head. I'm just an empty shell floating around in such a wicked reality. Such a cruel, cruel world. It is indeed. Step by step I go on, no clear destination. I feel heavy, as if I was carrying something on my back. Something dark, wretched and malevolent. A darkness that follows everywhere I go. A disease eating me from the inside. No matter how hard I try to shake it, it just latches itself onto me. The more I fail the more it grows. The more it takes over.
Every now and then a car passes me by. Not one head turns to even glance at me. Ignoring my presence, my very existence. I am but a spec of dust amongst others. Every step I feel it. I'm fading.
I can't take it anymore.
Life is meant to be lived and fulfilled. To be happy and sad. To love and to hate. To laugh and to cry. But I have not lived nor am I fulfilled. I don't feel happy and I don't feel sad. I've never loved nor hated . Cried more than I've laughed. I've failed haven't I?
Stop.
I'm frozen. Standing on a bridge I look around me. Gazing upon the ocean that's there, right below where I stand. Looking down I feel at ease. I wonder what it feels like. The cold breeze caresses my face, strokes my hair. Numb from the cold but yet I still feel the chills running down my arms onto my legs.
It's beautiful..
It's a long way down but I want to touch it. I want the waves to take me. I want to be embraced by the deep blue sea. I want... I want peace.
One step.. two steps..
It's such a thrill standing on the edge. Would anybody notice if I was gone? Death is fair. It accepts everybody, the good, the bad, the happy the sad. Nobody is left behind. Beautiful in it's own way...
I am ready.
My entire life changed in just one instant. One moment. One second. One jump. Falling felt endless. Memories flowing through my head, it was like watching a movie. I give a gentle smile before my lips prepare to kiss the ocean.
Down, down I go. Descending into the dark I feel like I'm dreaming. Feeling so cold, floating, it's so surreal. I close my eyes and let go. Give in to the night. Waiting to give my last breath. I'm sorry.
A voice.. I hear it..
“......”
There it is again. Suddenly, I feel a sudden weight right besides me. Before I have time to react I feel something grab my arm. It's pulling me but it's too late. A flash of light beams in front of me and once again I close my eyes.
Warmth..
I find myself in a garden. Surrounded by the most beautiful flowers. The air is light, fresh. I hear the sound of a piano followed by a voice singing a melody so hauntingly beautiful that puts my heart at ease. Where is it coming from?
Follow the voice...
It's hypnotizing. The words, intriguing. Over a hill and down I go. The sky is cloudy but the grass so green. My favorite weather. Red roses, white roses, blue, purple, all leading me down a path. The sound grows louder.
Finally something new. An open field with nothing around but the piano that released that beautiful sound and the silhouette of the genius who created it. I walk forward getting closer. My heart is pounding. I can't see a face. As I take another step I see a ray of lightning in the far distance followed by the loud thunder that drowns out the music. Then another and another. Each one getting closer.
The figure stops playing and stands to face me. I can't see a face but I can tell it's a man. He seems to be yelling towards me, possibly at me but I can't hear a word he says over the thunder. It's just...
A white flash of light. The grass around me is turning a yellowish brown. In a far distance the roses are dying. Strangely I am not afraid. There is something about this scene, that seems so.. serene.
He's getting closer. The lighting grows brighter and thunder louder. I hear him. His voice, but I can't make out the words.
“....p, ...up,... wake … wake up!”
All of a sudden everything around me shatters. As if I was inside a snow globe that has just been broken. The sky breaks into pieces that begin to fall like rain. A white light fades in as everything else fades out.
“We got her, she’s alive..”
jbbartram-illu
origamiaround