feeble heart caught in his throat , temples pulsating under weight of pressure of what he perceives to be looming destruction to something he’d been yearning for since the very first day he’d laid eyes on the teaching assistant . perhaps tyler should’ve known better than to fall head over heels for someone so unattainable , someone so much smarter than him —– but that’s just it , tyler acts purely on impulse , on sheer emotion , never been the analytical type and it shows . it’s the very reason why tyler needed greer to begin with , but feelings toward the other have changed over time , through getting to know him , spending more time together has only intensified the once innocent crush , now spiraling into full - blown infatuation . ‘ well … you can tell professor kim that isn’t necessary . ’ would it be too pathetic to say tyler could no longer envision his life without the other ? ah , what a fool he is , getting so attached so quickly when greer has always been so wary , keeping an eye out for nearest exit .
or so tyler thought , because as greer continues on with his speech —– which takes everything in tyler not to interrupt , mouth runs dry as the other seems to dance around some kind of confession , unexpected sentiment pouring from the one who had been so … adamantly reserved about his emotions thus far , though the past couple of weeks have shown a different side to him , a side tyler couldn’t help but want to fall deeper into , uncover everything there is to know about his tutor . safe to say greer has become so much more to him than that —- ‘ wait , what ? do you think i just like … regularly fall for my tutors or something ? ’ brow furrows , arms crossing over his chest in a defensive state . but even this doesn’t throw him off - track of what he wants to say , though he does slip into a more sheepish demeanour as he does so . ‘ you’re really special to me , greer . whatever is happening between us , i don’t wanna lose it . you’re the best tutor i’ve ever had , you’re so patient with me … i don’t know what happened with this last test , and i’m sorry if i got you in trouble . but the thing is … i can’t stop thinking about you either . ’
☘ ❝ no , no . . i don’t think that of you at all . ❞ not consciously anyway . it’s pure insecurity ; overactive mind having convinced greer that tyler’s crush , ( that’s not so unrequited ) , was founded on pure convenience rather than any real independent merit . it’s easy to pine over someone when they’re always there , greer’s pursuit to bring tyler’s grades up purely selfless in the beginning . . borderline overbearing , but wellfounded - he can’t pretend motive isn’t selfish at this point , and that’s why it feels wrong . tyler’s words are all exactly what he should want to hear , jaw clenching as he tries to choose between the answer he should give and the answer he wants to , ❝ tyler . . ❞
god , WHY is this so hard ? greer has always been softspoken , but never this brash ; constantly finding himself second guessing every single syllable that he passes onto other . his critical thinking has currently gone into overdrive and physicality follows promptly , shifting himself off bed so that he can begin to pace tyler’s room . he must look insane , but the sharp movements helps clear the chaos currently ensuing in his mind ; flip flopping from indulging or furthering space , ❝ it’s not about getting in trouble , i don’t care about that . . but maybe if things were different , if you had another tutor i mean ; . . maybe we could be together . ❞
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