Sky

♌️ ♉️ ♍️ 24year old SoCal & AZ watch me destroy my life then rebuild it over and over again

[prttywhnidie]

you brought something out of me and now im so terrified to lose you. this wasnt supposed to be anything serious but its been months now and all i can think about is you. i want you so bad but how bad would that turn out? would we ruin things? i just love you and don't know how to express it without immediately feeling regret. i want to show you who i truly could be if i wasn't so sad and scared all the time, who i used to be.

[prttywhnidie]

i no longer hold the strength or will to keep fighting w myself for myself anymore. im tired of feeling so heavy and empty even when i try my hardest to be happy and smile. its supposed to be the little things that make you happy but even those cause me so much pain. i'm tired of thinking i've possibly found love just for it to cause me more heartbreak. im tired of thinking ive found friendships only for them to feel empty and like a burden. ive lost interest in everything i once loved and now i feel like im walking around blindly. i have no direction to go and am simply just floating in the background. i don't see through eyes but a screen and on autopilot. do i even actually feel anything at this point or do i just convince myself i do so i don't fully lose consciousness? idk anymore.. im just so tired of existing.

[bpdamn]

but honestly i should’ve been given a lethal injection with my bpd diagnosis

[prttywhnidie]

i started using again... i was almost 3 years clean but so much has happened and i craved it so much since ive moved back. i think im starting to fear death for the first time in my life. i want the pain and fear to end but what happens afterwards? i always told myself it didn't matter if theres an afterlife or not but ive started believing im gonna end up in a hell i don't even believe in and that the pain this life will follow me everywhere i go.

[prttywhnidie]

don't wanna feel anything ever again

[prttywhnidie]

put myself in isolation lets see how this goes

[prttywhnidie]

i can no longer cope with my anxiety on my days off. i just sit in my room dissociating, go out and bug my dad for a min, then go back to dissociating. i cant even think about how to entertain myself without thoughts of dying. i cant play w my cat without thoughts of dying. i literally dont even know why i want to die but these thoughts have started feeling like actual voices bc i can still hear them no mattef what i think about. i cant fucking stand it anymore.

[gutsp1t-deactivated20250712]

my toxic trait is if u go 24 hours without talking to me i want u to kill urself

[girlforsaken-deactivated2024020]

this but ill want to kill myself instead

[prttywhnidie]

both

[prttywhnidie]

the emptiness is coming back and idk how long i can hold on

[prttywhnidie]

gonna be homeless in 2 weeks🥰 i wanna die or relapse but neither are feasible

[lovesickbrat]

there is really nothing white women hate more than a black girl being considered beautiful especially by white men bc these old bitches are 3 secs away from calling me a nigger every day

[prttywhnidie]

i feel so fucking hollow holy fuck

[prttywhnidie]

okay so ik u nod off and shii but are u able to actually go to sleep at night when ur on percs??? idk why but shi makes my insomnia worse.

[prttywhnidie]

i hate being alone i hate being sober dear god i wish id die

[prttywhnidie]

the urge to puke and cry and bash my head on the wall and hit things

[prttywhnidie]

omgomgomg i found someone in my city who does percs and live relatively close to me🥴 i dont want o use them for drugs but god i need to use so bad

[prttywhnidie]

would give up everything to taste a burning perc rn