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aurora / xin — permateen unlabelled aracial multicultural

neutral gendered. I write poems here, manifestation and

all the fringe stuff.

rentry : /newqualia

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Manifesting and applying self concept is difficult for me due to my traumas and unresolved open wounds. I want to dabble in non dualism as it aligns with my beliefs, that everyone is derived from the source and you are your desires. I find it comforting to act as if you are, and I definitely am a multicultural individual.

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I have a hard time connecting with others who are naïve about the concept of race being a social construct that is changeable. Of course, I’m not trying to gatekeep or dismiss anyone’s opinion of race, but I want someone who atleast feels somewhat similar.

This is also why I am apprehensive to forming relationships with people I cannot easily gauge a reading of or are only looking for surface-level communication. Too much stress for little reward.

[natalieironside]

There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.

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I fuckinh hate flag-bearing as I’m really anti-nationalist buttttt.. I would love to have trace 🇨🇴🇧🇷 or 🇵🇷 friends who are also in transition and want to culturally immerse in our culture(s) together!

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Navigating dysphoria intrusive thoughts + everything in between.

[TW]: Mainly for tracephobic terms used.

I don’t like / or feel like using clinical diagnostic terminology as a means to make sense of my experiences, but I think that transracial-based “OCD”, or simply put rumination should be a thing. (A form of OCD)

My mind manages to goad myself into believing that I’m a bad person for being trace, being a fetishiser, that I should die for not being my desired culture(s), and I’m a “pretendian” and a “fraud” and having weird fixations on strangers of my desired cultures, being generally obsessive and stalker-like, repeating names over and over again despite not knowing or having an interest in said specific person. It’s become quite a maladaptive tendency over the years and this usually occurs whenever I’m in social spaces. I am neurodivergent and deal with social anxiety, so this just felt like another awkward quirk I had.

Being somewhat into manifestation, I am aware that this is a false affirmation and that this does not represent me, but I can’t help but give in to the thought that I am a troubled individual who feels like I have to leech onto a culture in order to make sense of myself.

I have talked to some people who have shared similar anecdotes about their dysphoria and how it manifests in this way, and I guess it does help humanise this feeling somewhat. Hopefully sharing this helps other people who are also struggling with the same.

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There’s less of a focus on non-ea esu individuals and it’s somewhat isolating, especially as the ctdr and esu communities are flooded with them. I hope to cultivate a community of people who are willing to share resources and help each other at least, especially with language learning and cultural immersion, I find it hard to do so…

I feel like most of the non-ea’s are in hiding haha. where are you?

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I want to go to the void and manifest being my trans cultures so badly omg 😖.

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Trace friendly things that YOU can affirm!

Here are list of trace friendly things you can affirm and manifest

List count: 15.

Foods and snacks from your desired culture

Desired family members of cultural origin

Full fluency in a language

Having people already know where you come from

Manifesting physical appearance changes

Cultural rites or passage ( e.g : a bat mitzvah or a quinceañera )

Cultural clothing

Watching cultural childhood shows.

Visiting local festivals of your desired culture

Travelling to your desired country.

Having memories of being in your desired country

Change in old photos / documents to reflect your current identity.

A new parent (old ‘biological’ parent will no longer be your parent)

Having desired memorabilia of your country.

People forgetting the old ‘you’.

Don’t forget that the 3D is an illusion and that you are in charge of the rules.

[prurify]

I love my pinterest board it’s literally a shopping cart for my desires.