Confessions of an Unmarried Mother

confessions of an unmarried mother. predestination indie rp

[prxdestined]

ᴛᴠ/ғɪʟᴍ ᴛʀᴏᴘᴇs ɪɴ ᴘʀᴇᴅᴇsᴛɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ (𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟺) ᴅɪʀ. ᴛʜᴇ sᴘɪᴇʀɪɢ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀs

 Here you are at the beginning of your new life. It can be overwhelming knowing the future you're about to create. Knowing the purpose of that life. You know who she is. And you understand who you are. And now maybe you're ready to understand who I am. You see, I love her too.

[animusrox]

You know, I’ve been called a freak my whole life. Now I really was. Just a lab rat to be experimented on. Predestination (2014) | dir. The Spierig Brothers

[willows-mossy-corner]

[prxdestined]

blendintowalls·:

jane:   [   dominance   ] ;   your  muse  taking  the  lead  and  dominating  mine.

                  AT    FIRST,    DAVID    STRUGGLES    TO    KEEP    HEAVY    LIDS    OPEN            ———                  there’s    little    hesitance    in    the    way    orderly    allows    the    other    to    drape    herself    all    over    him  ;     soft    lips      PEPPER     along    exposed    neck    as    he    lets    her   …     warmth    of    her    body      enough      to    wake    him    right    up    from    doleful    slumber.              ‘    hey—     hello,    there  …     ‘              whispered    in    between      saccharine    kisses         -       places    a    palm    upon    woman’s    soft    cheek    to    guide    lingering    lips    to    own,    keen    mouth.         (     sure    was    a    happy    surprise    to    find    the    other    all    straddled    and    tenacious    upon    him.     )              with    these    two,    it    was    usually    the    other    way    around,       but    it    felt    good    to    be    spoiled    like    this.               ‘     yeah—      please.     ‘             an    indolent    murmur.     sinks    into    the    kiss,    into    the    bed.     finally    allowing    himself    to      keep    his    eyes    shut ;       pushing    the    back    of    his    head    into    the    softness    of    his    pillow    as    lips    detach,    feeling    the    weight    of    jane’s    body      pressing    down    against    his    own.       he’d    turn    his    face    away,    licking    across    drying    lips    whilst    pushing    his    aching    groin    against    hers       -       hands    move    to    sloppily    fumble    with    the    zipper    of    his    jeans.             ‘   jus'—    …  fuck    me.     right    now—     please   ?    ‘   

To be tangled up so warm in his embrace; truly there was no better place than this. She might as well be bright star amidst constellation, each part of her aching to be joined to another in the creation of something beautiful. They had ended up back in his bed, tumbled atop messy bedsheets. Rest came easy to weary bones, and the nap had been more than appreciated. A mess of fiery red hair, loosely tied back had awoken first, bleary blue eyes a warm nova as they took in the sight of the man besides her. The gentle rise and fall of his chest, how peaceful he was when kinder dreams stole the mind away.

Her finger had drawn gentle doodles over his t-shirt, content in this moment of warmth for now. Though, she had been a little disappointed when the idea of going to bed  was just that. Going to bed. There was something about the grungy young man that just drove her wild, although she did her very best to hide it. The way he so unashamedly spoke his mind around her, was so direct with what he wanted, what he needed. They way he’d say her name, the way he could coerce such filth from her own rosey lips with just the smallest touch...  She didn’t believe in magic, but she certainly believed in David.

Hand traced daringly down, under his shirt to trace across the heat of exposed skin. A natural born explorer. She bit her lip, already feeling her pale cheeks grow flush with possibility. Maybe it was time to take David’s lead. 

Soft kisses found themselves peppered across the orderly’s neck, trailing constellation of her own design across the canvas of his skin; plush and soft from under his ear to his jaw. She perches herself on his lap, trailing hands so chastely under his shirt, nails lightly carving out new galaxies. She’s already aglow with desire, a light gasp that transforms into muted moan of his name as he captures her lips.  “Hello there, sleeping beauty,” she brings herself to whisper, voice still lost to the residue of desire. Lips curve into smile as her eyes meet his, those brilliant jades so wonderfully content before they close.

Jane pushed herself closer, a needy gasp mewled against his adam’s apple as she’s granted further access to the skin. The way she feels him rock so impatiently against him, that gentle brush up against her in just the right way leaves her grinding down again for more, teeth finding his earlobe and tugging gently before she kisses the spot just below so sweetly. 

He’s already so desperate, and she’s thankful for that. Her body feels far too hot under the layers of sweater and blouse. But there’s something even more... risqué in being so clothed- that needs and desperation overcome practicality. A reminder that they’re nothing more than human beings, with little strength at all to overcome such base desires. And there’s nothing more she desired now than him. To be held by him, touched by him. Mischievously, she laughs quietly and takes his hands that were so busy fumbling with his jeans.  “Your manners are impeccable...” Jane teases, finding his lips again. She feels like she’s going to drown in that warmth, the taste of on her tongue addictive. “...but rather ineffectual here...” Puppeteer and tender marionette; the young man casts her hands over his own and guides them to her own chest.

 The shred of power she had crumbles for just a moment as she hides her face, bashful as hips jerk in tandem as she makes him squeeze gently. Her lips find his ear neck again, a breathy plea by way of command, she kisses him again. “I want you to touch me...”

[prxdestined]

rabbitsrun·:

               a   nauseating   lurch   forward   (   a   moving   car   that   all   of   a   sudden   breaks   :   he’s   breaking   through   the   glass   ,   away   from   whatever   momentum   he   was   holding   onto   ).   there   is   no   flash   of   light   ,   no   pause.   he   stumbles   forward   ,   falling   unceremoniously   on   palms   that   scrape   on   impact.   vision   is   spinning   ,   blurring   ,   brain   reeling   within   his   head   ,   his   legs   feel   weak.   that   sickness   rises   from   his   stomach   and   spills   on   the   pavement   as   arms   struggle   to   hold   himself   up.                alec   rolls   onto   his   back   ,   hands   resting   on   his   stomach   ,   whimpering   softly.   only   then   does   he   begin   to   feel   grounded   (   this   is   all   for   her   ,   for   those   sweet   green   eyes   that   beam   when   she   smiles   ,   red   hair   that   radiates   in   the   sun   :   the   blood   is   on   his   hands   ,   on   YOUR   hands.   this   is   your   chance   ).   fingers   fumble   into   his   pocket   ,   pulling   out   his   phone.   no   service   ,   no   date.   no   confirmation.   defeated   groan   ,   weak   wipe   of   his   lips   ,   and   he   sits   up.   

               I   HAVE   TO   SAVE   HER.

               an   examination   of   his   surroundings   reveal   to   him   that   he   isn’t   where   he   should   be.   he   should   be   in   a   basement   ,   with   monitors   and   metal   and   technology   lost   in   time.   but   this   ,   this   was   not   that.   he   stands   (   with   a   stumble   )   ,   brow   furrowed.   a   hand   nervously   cards   through   curls   as   he   looks   around   him   in   panic.   WHERE   ARE   YOU   ,   ALEC   SADLER?                doors   are   forced   open   with   what   little   strength   he   has   ,   disoriented   feet   stepping   in   front   of   each   other   to   lead   to   the   bar.   blue   eyes   are   open   wide   ,   very   wide   ,   nostrils   flared   ,   the   corner   of   his   head   bleeding   from   impact.

               “   hey   ,   hey   ,   ”   he   struggles   to   speak   past   his   pants   ,   “   where   —   wh   —   ”   a   glance   behind   him   ,   “   what’s   ,   what’s   the   date?   the   day?   i - i   need   to   know   what   day   it   is.   ”   another   glance   ,   “   and   —   where?   am   i?   ”

                starter   for   @prxdestined·   from   alec   sadler!

LUCK IS THE RESIDUE OF DESIGN. 

Everything from his birth, and with no conceivable doubt, to his death would all be pre-determined. Every decision that John took lay the trail for Jane to follow, and every step that John took was to follow down the road set for him long ago by feet familiar. There was something both equally comforting and horrifying in that reality. A limbo of purpose. Was it really living, if he was just playing the game by somebody else’s rules? Or had we all fooled ourselves into believing that we ever really had a choice?     

You always have a choice. 

He had told himself many years ago, or at least for the Bartender, felt many years ago. That same, terrified and confused young man who knew nothing of the world that lay just outside his window. A man who had already seen such pain, such loss in such short a life time... he had no idea what was in store yet. But it had to be done. He had to lay the seeds to the future. Of course he had to; he had already done it many times before. 

John had come to terms with this fate a long time ago. Now all his real concern was finally catching that Fizzle Bomber. He had come so close in recent years. A few more jumps. That’s all it would take. But now, he had different matters to attend to. Wiping down the sticky dark cedar of the bar with an old dingy cloth, John played his role as bartender well. It was almost fun in a way. Comforting. Listening to the stories of others as he served them drinks. He was always so used to being the story teller. Well, all these stories may indeed come in handy one day, if he ever decided to pick up the pen again. Or a typewriter.

But John, John. Today your role is not a writer. It’s the bartender. And it was early hours into the shift. Just the usual handful of souls who dragged their asses into stools on any given Wednesday night. It should have been an easy shift to get through. But as John was cleaning glasses, that’s when the kid stumbled through.

He looked like he’d just been in a fight and lost. From the size of him, that wouldn’t be too surprising. This city had been getting rougher and tougher each day, with most ‘decent’ people already fleeing thanks to the fizzle bomber and his attacks. An awful reminder that John was failing his mission.

Blue eyes look over at the kid with amusement at first, shaking his head as he waves a dismissive hand.

“Come on kid, I think you’ve had enough already, huh? How about you just, uh, turn on back there and head out where you came from?”

The question is baked in gentle smile, tone friendly enough but with pressed reassurance that he should probably vacate the establishment. The last thing John wanted to deal with on a mid-week shift was some drunk teen.

“How much you been drinkin’ pal?   It’s Wednesday.”

If it had been any other bartender, on any other Wednesday, and any other drunken patron, John would already be on his way over to help escort him out carefully and safely. 

But this guy? His clothes...they were they were the wrong time period, and that face, that confusion and pain that came from distortion-- he knew that all too well. .... It couldn’t be.... could it? John removed the tooth pick from between his lips, placed it behind ear as he moves to the closer side of the bar. He kept his tone light, playful. But he knew his gun lay carefully in the back pocket of his jeans. If this guy was one of those freelancers, he wasn’t going to be taking any chances today. LUCK IS THE RESIDUE OF DESIGN. It never hurt to be prepared.

“You... lost, friend?”

@rabbitsrun·

[prxdestined]

“𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 ‘𝚊 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗?’    𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎.”

ʟᴇᴛ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ.      ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sʜᴇ ɪs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. 

[thecrazytowncomics]

[brilliancetheory]

Predestination + text post memes

[prxdestined]

wantslife·:

@prxdestined· :    ❛  it’s  the  same  shit ,   just  a  different  year .  ❜

     ‘that’s just how it ends up bein’,  though,  doesn’t it?     shit never changes.   miserable last year,  ring in the new one,  and we’re in the same fucking shitshow — only worse.’     adam laughs,  smoke leaving his lips,  breath dry and saturated with sarcasm.   the camera hanging around his neck left neglected,  a child ignored in the midst of desperation.     ‘you end the year with a piece of shit job,  living in a piece of shit town,  and living a piece of shit life — and you wake up on january first in the same fucking place.   nothing changes.   just gotta get over it.’

the sentiment shared is one of scorn. the unmistakable aftertaste bitter on the pallete; star child with his palms stretched eagerly to the universe, only to have received nothing in return. you could stretch further, cast your tiny arms further into the inky nothing above you ---- but still you get nothing for your effort.

a dry smile seldom worn on tired lips ghosts the man’s visage for just the briefest second. it’s warm and familiar, yet rests uncomfortable. and so, he drowns it in another glass of whiskey. he follows the other’s lead and begins to roll his own cigarette. 

“exactly.” he agrees, a tone of relief chasing disgruntled expression. his eyes still don’t quite meet the other’s. “and everyone always fools themselves into thinking it’s gonna be any different without making any steps to make it any different. like shit’s gonna change for them just because they say it will.” he rolls the papers deftly, crafting each fold together as he levies the tobacco inside. he shakes his head and places it between his teeth. “you wake up in a city like this on january first because you’re either running from something, or you’re still thinkin’ it’s gonna be a different place to how you left it in december.” small hands find his lighter, cupping his hands together to ignite his cigarette and taking that well-needed first drag. 

john closes his eyes, enjoying the blissfully short window of time between then and now, exhaling slowly as he looked across the bar at the other. sapphire hues scan the other over carefully for the first time, taking careful consideration of his camera, his hands, and then his face. he raised a brow.

“so...which one are you?”

@wantslife·

[prxdestined]

spotlessmlnd·:

❛ Every time I leave, I swear it’s hard for me to digest. ❛ Will felt as if he’d been LOSING parts of himself in those moments where he’d slip into the CONFINES of his mind. A never ending cycle of anxiety that came with the unawareness of his actions. Half the time he had no idea who he was anymore. 

@prxdestined·· // lyric starter | Song: about you | by: sadeyes

         “The human mind is a scary place. The potential for ɢᴏᴏᴅ               is just as great as the potential for ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀ.  ”

    John hadn’t exactly planned to be making conversation at the bar tonight.     In fact, he made it a point to keep to himself as much as possible.     The less people getting involved in his life, meant far less stress.     And the last thing the writer needed was more sᴛʀᴇss right now.

    But for some reason, perhaps it had been the whiskey in his system,     the man had decided to take it upon ʜɪᴍsᴇʟғ to speak to the stranger     at the bar. He had been alone. He looked ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇ. A kindred spirt.

           “What exactly is it you leave behind?”

@spotlessmlnd·

[prxdestined]

blendintowalls·:

jane / john:  💬

                                            ‘   i    hope    that      what    i've    said      hasn’t      hurt     you    too  much.   ‘

The smile comes easy to worn features as the man shakes his head. His eyes, those sparkling blues look fondly over the orderly, in some meagre attempt to alleviate any awkwardness in the small space between them. Though only a foot or so, it felt as if the distance grew with each drawn breath. Universes expanding far away into the dark.

   He takes a drag of his cigarette, the stars pushing back just a                little more.

           “There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard already.              Things...are inevitable. I just appreciate your honesty.                         ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴀsᴋ ғᴏʀ.”

John pauses for a moment, brows furrowing.            “I’m sorry if----I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.                 It wasn’t my ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ.”

[prxdestined]

  // ʜᴇʟʟᴏ! neglected this blog for so long, but ofc i rewatched the film       would anyone like a starter from john?          ( it’s ok if we’ve never interacted!)

[prxdestined]

// ᴅᴀᴠɪᴅ @blendintowalls​​

   “ No, no. It’s fine---       That was funny. Come on, sᴀʏ ɪᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.”           

[prxdestined]

blendintowalls·:

                                         THE    PRIOR    UNEASE    WOULD    SLOWLY    BUT    SURELY    ABATE.                 whatever      self-indulgent      need    david    previously    had    for    anything    other    than    this …     gone.      all    he    could    think    about    was    this    moment,    right    here,    right    now,    with    jane.    she    provided    a    sense    of       TRANQUILITY       no    other    substances    would    ever    manage    to    supply.          ———        he    finally    felt    heard.     loved.      like    he    could    actually    be    deserving    of    something    good.        or,    like    he    actually     w a s.      he’d    run    bony    fingers    through    damp    strands,     watching    those    rosy    lips    gingerly    part    when    she    speaks    to    him.              ‘   i’m    good.   ‘               smiles    broadly,     gives    her    a    light    tap    on    the    tip    of    her    nose    before    migrating    his    hand    downward       -       stroking    the    dampened    fabric    of    her    arm.                ‘  was    mainly    thinking    ‘bout    you.   ‘                no,    david    wouldn’t    be    able    to    get    down    a       piece    of    toast       even    if    he    wanted    to.    maybe    he’d    gain    his      APPETITE      back    in    time    for    breakfast. 

                                             ‘  you    know    you    don’t    have    to    stay    awake    for    me …     ———      wait  !  ‘                 orderly    suddenly    stands    up,      snaps   his    fingers      as    he    makes    his    way    across    the      LIMITED    SPACE       of    the    living    room.    crouches   down    in    front    of    one    of    his    dressers.               ‘  here.  ‘                orderly    turns    around    with    a    clean    t-shirt    pinched    betwixt    digits.              ‘  not    that    i    don’t    dig    that     sexy    wet    look     you    have    going    on.   ‘             throws    the    dry    piece    of    garment    to    her,     she      catches.             ‘   i    don’t    want    you    to    catch    a    cold.   ‘

A little startled, but the woman does little more than raise her brows at the sudden withdrawal by the other. An incredibly thoughtful gesture, though she was sure it mustn’t have been comfortable for him to sit beside someone so drenched.

She removed her foggy specs to wipe away the condensation again and fortunately has the foresight to catch the offered clothing. His comment however, is something that she was sure she would never get used to. The way he could let such things slip from his tongue so playfully, so casually— it was certainly a skill that she didn’t currently possess. Skin ignites a rosey pink as fingers curl themselves into the surprisingly warm fabric of the shirt. It wasn’t as if she didn’t think those things about him too. It wasn’t as if she thought about him often—- but to just so casually compliment like that, it was beyond her. it was electrifying.

                  “Oh—- thank you.” Jane called back, if not a little flustered.                     “There’s really no need.”

But despite her civil platitude, she couldn’t help but sniffle as she took off the damp grey wool that had clung to her skin in the chill of the night’s rain. She was just so relieved to be here. There had been so much of a panic coursing through her system. She didn’t know what to think, of what she would find when she arrived at David’s  place. But she was glad she came, and more than grateful for his safety.

                        “I don’t mind, really.”

She refers back to his previously brought up concern about staying up late  , hoping to ease any worries that might be lingering in his mind. But she was sure he knew this by now.

         “You know I’d come over any time. My work really isn’t that important to                me,” she began to unbutton her blouse and shrugged it off             “—-and I actually enjoy spending time with you, you know?              As much of a shock as that might come to you.              or maybe it doesn’t. I think I’ve been rather transparent.”  Jane teases, taking off her glasses once more and placing them on the dirty table before her as she pulls the freshly obtain garment over her head. That was much better. 

[trannyzilla]

“You’ll have to make tough choices.  You’ll influence the past.  Can we change our futures? I… I don’t know.  The only thing that I know for sure… Is that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  I miss you dreadfully.”

PREDESTINATION (2014) dir. The Spierig Brothers 

[prxdestined]

ᴘʀᴇᴅᴇsᴛɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ (𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟺) sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ

‘Well, you look better than I do.’

‘You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’

‘Who cares how a barkeep looks? Or a writer for that matter.’

‘Do you see yourself as a tourist, or a participant?’

‘-and when I wasn’t expecting it, I met him. There he was.’

‘You ever hear the expression a “ruined woman”?

‘Haven’t you ever done something stupid for love?’

‘I’ve had a lot of people tell me how sorry they are for  what happened to me. I’m sick of hearing it.’

‘Then what do you want?’

‘Why can’t love be a purpose?’

‘It’s easier to hate than love, right?’

‘You’re not how I imagined you’d look.’

‘Do I know you?’

‘I was thinking the exact same thing. What are the odds?’

‘Perhaps it’s because a thought to them is unfamiliar territory.’

‘Have you ever been with a man?’

‘The snake that eats its own tail. Forever and ever?’

‘I never wanted to hurt her.’

‘Luck is the residue of design.’

‘Can we change our futures? I don’t know.’

‘Fuck love.’

‘You pretend that love doesn’t matter to you. When the truth  is, it’s all you ever think about.’

‘Do you ever feel depressed?’

‘Are you nervous?’

‘You can do this.’

‘I’m not very good in social situations. Some people just  don’t like me, I guess.’

‘Takes one to know one.’

‘Alright, what am I thinking right now?’

‘Why? What do I look like?’

‘I’m tired of being tough all the time.’

‘Have we met before? I feel like we have.’

‘Everyone’s got problems.’

‘Hi, it’s nice to meet you. It’s a wonderful day.’

‘Old underwear. Leave the bottle.’

‘You’re not talking about bartending, are you?’

‘Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.’

‘All we have is each other.’

‘What comes first, the chicken or the egg?’

‘Remember, it’s still a job.’

‘Never do something today that could be done yesterday.’

‘Everybody just uses everybody else to get what they want.’

‘I miss you dreadfully.’

[prxdestined]

  // ʜᴇʟʟᴏ! neglected this blog for so long, but ofc i rewatched the film       would anyone like a starter from john?          ( it’s ok if we’ve never interacted!)