There is the little dream of mine, in it I was a boy named Simon and it just got weird soooo yeah here it is.
Oh and obviously I do not condone Dahmer's actions, I don't stand either, I just thought it was a weird ass funny dream so I wrote it down. I named the dream (yeah cause I give names to my dreams) :
Feel me under Milwaukee's street lamps.
On the hot night of 17th July of 1990, young Simon was hanging out at a gay bar named La Cage; on the outside he was looking like a teenager, short curly hair, round glasses, little freckles on the tip of his nose, loose jeans, destroyed shoes tied nervously, white shirt under his handmade sweater. But in reality he was just an insecure twenty six year old gay guy.
He was sitting at the bar, sketching in his notebook every guy he was finding cute, couple of hands there, a pair of lustful eyes here and a numb smile right there. Every three seconds he was pushing his glasses back in there place, this place was making him uneasy, so many people were making out and were gazing at him like he was a piece of art on a wall.
After some time, he looked over his shoulder, wondering what kind of weirdos were staring at him. And at the end of the bar table was this guy, way taller then Simon, blond hair, crystal blue eyes and glasses bigger then Simon's. The guy was awkwardly staring him down but the fact that he was as nervous as him was making Simon less uncomfortable. So the young boy smiled at him and returned to his drawings.
"Hi…" Simon jumped out of his imagination and turned his brown eyes to meet the cristal ones. The stranger was standing next to him an elbow on the counter.
- O-oh no sorry I'm not a big drinker.
- Oh… okay no worries, what about some Coke? This stranger looked desperately nervous and nice enough for Simon too let go of his guard a little.
- Hmmm… okay. The blond haired man ordered two glasses of Coca Cola and started to peek on Simon's notebook.
- Y-yeah hum it helps me release my stress.
- You are stressed here ?
- Hum no ! I just… forget it. The young boy turns his attention back to the glass in front of him and took a sip of it nervously. The stranger smiled and took a sip too.
- I'm Jeffrey by the way !
- Simon… hey hum, I'm like… starting photography, would like to help another artist out and pose for me ? Simon's cheeks turn a light pink but thanks to the obscurity of the room no one saw it, he never went to an unknown person's place before he is too much of a good boy for that.
- Well … okay, at one condition.
- You let me draw you after. Good job creep the guy just want to photograph you and you ask him to stand in the same position for hours in return.
- Oh… well... hum okay then."
"It's way to warm in there", was the first thing Simon thought about when he entered Jeffrey's place. Everything was looking cozy, the couch was strangely very welcoming so Simon placed his little gay butt on it.
- Oh no nothing just your couch is very comfy. Simon was starting to sweat, was it the natural heat of the apartment or just his nervousness rising like crazy?
- Thanks. Laughed Jeffrey, he took off the Jean jacket he had on and looked at Simon.
- You should take off your sweater. The certainty in the tone of his voice send chills down the back of the younger man, it sounded like an order so he did so; lifted up the sweater and placed it next to him on the couch.
- You drink Whiskey and coke ?
- Hum not really but I would like to try. The blond haired man smiled and went to get the drink, he weirdly went to the bathroom with the drink afterwards, Simon narrowed his brows but didn't thought too much of it.
- So hum, am I gonna need to get undressed?
- No! I mean … you choose, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Jeffrey came back into the room placed the glasses on the table and sat on the other end of the couch.
- Thanks. Simon stared at him, he had good features, nice jawline, very handsome hands and beautiful blue eyes in short he was pretty good looking.
- Your not from around aren't you ?
- No I'm from France, I came here for summer studies... see new faces, new buildings and new shapes.
- Why leave France? It's very inspirational back there
- Yeah but… I need to see new personalities too … if you see what I mean…
- Oh I see, looking for love ?
- For acceptance. The room got silent real quick, Jeffrey was fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, head down.
- Sorry for breaking the mo-
- Your family doesn't know ? Said the older man before the younger could finish
- Well no they kinda know their just… very religious... their ashame of me so I go were no ones knows me
- I see… I relate a little, my dad doesn't like my sexuality either. Simon lifted his head up to meet the cristal blue eyes again and smiled
- We have a lot in common…
- Yeah that's right! I shouldn't keep you waiting I'll just start taking the pictures. He nervously got up and took the camera in hand, turned to Simon and said…
- Just relax, I'll tell you if there's a certain pose I want you to take.
Simon laied down a little and tried to relax but Jeffrey turning around him like a fly wasn't helping, he could feel his glare not only on his face but on his body too, his chest, his legs, his neck. No one really looked at him that hard before so panic began to raise. At some point Jeff took his left wrist in his strangely very warm hand and lift up his arm on top of his head, Simon let him do what he needed but his breath got faster, his cheeks went pinkish and the glasses were sliding off his sweaty nose. Then tension raise again, the blue eyed man placed his hand on Simon's left leg to widen the space between the two, took his other wrist and made it join the other. Simon's heart was exploding through his chest, he was in a such vulnerable position, anything could hit him at this point, his stress was so intense he was feeling numb; Jeffrey got closer to his chest and stayed there for a couple seconds and suddenly snapped back to reality, he could see Simon's chest betting, betting really fast.
" Oh my god ! I'm sorry I didn't want to make you uncomfortable! He backed up and placed the camera on the small table were Simon's untouched glass was sitting.
- I-it's o-okay, it's my-my fault I'm too sensitive.
- No no ! It's me I shouldn't have touched you like that. Simon laughed a little, Jeffrey's stress was as big as his, no worries. He pushed his falling glasses back on his nose and got back up.
- I hope the effort was worth it and you took nice shots. Said Simon with a released smile on his pinkish lips.
- Yes… yes I did. Answered Jeffrey while looking through the photos dreamingly.
- What got you into photography ? Asked Simon while staring at the other man
- Hum… I like the human body, it's interesting, how it works, it looks very good too and everybody as different shapes I guess… what about you ? What got you into drawing ? Except stress relief? Simon laughed
- Well I like the fact that I can create my own world, that I can make persons come to life on a piece of paper, be able to create the things that are perfect to me… and drawing makes you pay attention to everything around you, that turned me gay a little. He laughed again but very nervously. Because I realized that men had way better looking bodies then women, they have more shapes and I have this obsession with flat chests but whatever. Jeffrey laughed at the thought of little Simon blushing in front of men models in art class.
- I should take my shirt off then no ? Teased the older more experienced man, Simon went red and started sweating again.
- No-no ! I-I mean y-you don't have to!
- Oh come on it's a pay back ! Simon arranged his glasses and cleared his throat.
- Well if you say it like that…" Jeffrey smiled and sat next to him, he started to undo the buttons of his shirt. Simon got up and sat down on a chair that was facing the couch, he had to be very careful on containing his emotions because Jeffrey was gonna look at him for a long while and nothing was gonna make him look somewhere else. And that man's blue eyes were fucking guns ! So he had so stay calm cause otherwise he was gonne loose his virginity.
When the buttons were off, Jeffrey took off the shirt, the fabric slided down his shoulders like silk and revealed his Greek god like torso, poor Simon.
"Try to make me look kinda good at least! Joked the semi naked man.
- Oh stop it! You look good ! Laughed the fully clothed one
- You think so ? Jeffrey's remark got Simon out of his staring state, the young man looked at him and sincerely answered.
- Well I have to write that down then…
- Stop it !" They both laughed
Simon started drawing Jeffrey, his position was making no one uncomfortable, he was just resting his right arm on the top of the couch, his left arm was hiding his belt, his legs were resting in the void.
" You should take the glasses off. Said Simon seeing that because his head was resting on the couch too, his glasses made him look goofy.
- Oh yeah sure." He took off the glasses and kept them in his left hand.
Jesus he had a good looking face, Simon dreamed about it for a while and went back to drawing. His chest was curvy everything was curvy, Simon stared to grow a little hot but he stayed concentrated, he didn't want to make Jeffrey feel uncomfortable. The older man started to ask multiple questions about "what's that for ?" "Why is it named like that?" "How do you do that?" Etc… his curiosity was adorable.
Simon got so concentrated, the tip of his tongue was showing through his lips, Jeffrey laughed at how cute it was, the room was very calm, the sound of Simon's crayons and Jeffrey's breath were the only things that were breaking the silence. All the stress and nervousness was long gone, everything was so relaxing and peaceful.
- What ? Asked Simon in a tiny shock
- You have a cute face, round, with freckles, cute big brown eyes and an adorable little pink tongue tasting the air between the rosy lips. Simon blushed and got his tongue back into his mouth.
- Shut up I can't concentrate ! Jeffrey laughed and smiled, Simon's eyes met his.
- You- you look pretty nice too you know.
- Yeah yeah I know you already told me, I didn't got over it don't worry.
- Ah ! Shut up you big goof ! Jeffrey laughed hard this time.
- You seem nervous, you never did that kinda thing before?
- Not with a complete stranger that I've met at a creepy gay bar, and that I'm now drawing in his strangely hot apartment. Laughs filled the room.
- You never got to a stranger's apartment before ?
- What !? Simon laughed, Jeffrey's shock was understandable.
- Gays don't have a lot of places to meet in France and, in France my family keeps an eye on me.
- Nah don't be it's okay. Silence filled the room again and then Jeffrey eyes finally realized that the glass of Whiskey coke was untouched.
- You didn't drink that ?
- Oh no sorry I don't really now how I react to alcohol so I didn't really want to get too much into it.
- Why? You poisoned the glass ? Jeffrey turned blood red, got tensed and uneasy.
- Jeffrey? Simon's eyes went back to the man and realized how tensed he was.
- Wow relax! I'm just joking, you're too much of a nice guy to do that, and I really like you so no worries. Jeffrey looked at the glass, his expression was hard to understand, he seemed confused, almost lost.
- Jeffrey? You still there? Are am I a big fuck and just fucked the mood ? Asked Simon seriously concerned about the situation.
- I'm- am sorry hum, I'll just get you water. He suddenly got up, took the glass and threw the liquid in the kitchen sink. Simon got cuted in his worked but didn't need the model anymore, in reality he was done since almost thirty minutes, he just didn't want to leave. He looked Jeffrey as he rushed in the kitchen, he did just broke the mood didn't he ?
- Here you go. The now completely disoriented man sat the glass of water on the table and sat back on the couch.
- Jeff… are you okay ? Simon leted go off his material.
- Ye-yeah I just … didn't went that far before…
- Forget it I'm just… weird. Simon looked concerned, what made this handsome stranger suddenly so uncomfortable and unsure?
- You wanna see the end result?
- Yeah of course. Simon took his notebook and sat next to Jeff.
- Here… The drawing was not to dark, the shadows were light and delicate.
- You have to go through my eyes to be able to see it ? Simon decided that he was gonna compliment this man that was nice enough to stay in the same position for one hour and that was now so nervous.
- I-hum- … Jeffrey's cheeks were pink.
- Hmm? Simon looked at him, he was trying to get under his skin and in his mind to understand.
- Thanks a lot. Jeff putted his arm around Simon's shoulders and shyly hugged, the younger man smiled and warped firmly his arms around Jeffrey's neck to hug him tightly.
After what felt like a couple minutes the hug broke and the men were just sitting next to each other, Jeffrey got his shirt and his glasses back on and Simon was looking through his drawings. He then turned to window.
- Hey what time is it ? Jeffrey lift his head towards a clock that was right next to him.
- What !? Really ?! Simon got up and looked over to Jeff
- I have to go back to my apartment before my mom calls, if I don't answer in time she's gonna kill me ! The boy started gathering his stuff and putted his sweater back on.
- Wait ! You are not gonna leave are you ?
- I'm sorry I have too… here… Simon ripped a page of his notebook and wrote his telephone number on it. He then gave it to Jeff.
- Call me ! And there was Simon rushing out of Jeffrey's apartment, running down the stairs of the building and jumping into the bus that was passing by.
Jeff was in front of his front door, the piece of paper in hand, just standing there, in total confusion. After some time of long thinking he got back inside and look through the room, one nice boy was right there just a couple of seconds ago, did he imagined him ? No he had the paper, and there was Simon's eraser on the table… he forgot it!
- Simon your eraser ! Jeff screamed into the void, you forgot your eraser…
He took the tiny object and rushed to the window, the bus was gone, and so was Simon.
If you liked that shit feel free to tell me so... I might just imagine the rest of it to make it a fiction (maybe? I dunno).
Oh and here some pictures so you can get the mood of it.
jbbartram-illu
vaporwave
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
izzy806
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
