PsycholoJay

Young and Damaged

[psycholojay]

I am for MENTAL HEALTH;

DEPRESSION

Nakaka lungkot lang isipin na some people now a days see Depression as trending lang, kaya most of the people who feel sadness  think it is depression. some even relate it sa hindi pag punta sa church or otherwise dahil daw sa lack of faith, kumbaga, if a person is ill hindi mo naman sya sa simbahan idadala agad diba? are you getting the point? don’t get me wrong, I’m not against anything okay? that is their opinion, this is mine. so let me clarify things okay? and I am open for correction.

what are the main causes nga ba ng depression? dahil broken hearted ka? dahil you lost some one physically? broken family? economic status? the answer is yes.

Persistent sadness or feeling of hurt is different from Depression being sad from time to time is normal but if it last for months and it interfere your daily life that’s the time to acknowledge the problem and in order for you para ma masabing depress ka nga, meron kang kailangang ma meet na criteria, hindi ito criteria ng gaya sa mga contest or what, I to ay set of signs and symptoms na you are depress. 

Note: You cant Self Diagnosed okay? but if five or more of this is present, try consulting a professional. okay lets start!

First of all hindi lang Depression ang meron, meron ding Major Depression,  persistent depressive disorder which last for two years or longer,  manic depression also known as Bipolar disorder, Psychotic Depression, thosepeople with psychotic depression have the symptoms of major depression along with “psychotic” symptoms which is hindi natin tutukuyin ngayon, lets just focus on the symptoms. so here it is:

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Sa madaling salita, kawalan ng gana hindi lang sa sarili kundi sa mga bagay bagay

Loss of interest in daily activities. Yung mga usual things na ginagawa mo dati which you find exciting ay parang wala nalang ngayon.

Appetite or weight changes. Pagbaba ng timbang ng katawan dahil sa kawalan ng gana na kumain, maari ring kabalitaktaran wherein you tend to over eat and gain weight.

Sleep changes. Having an insomia o di kaya pag gising ng madaling araw kumbaga hindi na sya usual na gising mo at isa pa ay sobra sobrang oras ng tulog or over sleeping.

Anger or irritability.  Feeling agitated, feel mo pagaod na pagod ka which is minsan nag reresult sa sudden outburst of anger mo kasi nga low na yung level ng temperament mo.

Loss of energy.  feeling po as in pagod na pagod ka, kahit small task lang hirap na hirap kana hindi mo matapos tapos agad kasi feeling mo na ang bigat bigat ng pakiramdam mo.

Self-loathing. yung pakiramdam na sa tingin mo wala ka ng kwenta, na walang dapat ibang sisihin kundi ikaw, which is most of the time cause of suicide ideation.

Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior na nag reresult sa pagiging alcohol abuse mo, or different things na hindi na normal.

Concentration problems. hirap kang alalahanin yung mga bagay bagay, hirap ka ding gumawa ng decisyon at lastly hindi kana makapag focus.

Unexplained aches and pains. pag sakit ng batok, ulo tyan at kung ano-ano pa which is unusual sayo.

so there you have it! if you are qualified to at least 5 or more of this criteria, consult a professional or  talk to a friend. It is okay not to be okay. you are loved and understand. hindi mo kailangang mahiya okay? you are stronger than anyone, see, you have faught this far, hindi kaya madaling makipag laban sa sarili mong thoughts, odiba? you are braver than you think and I believe in you just keep going 

And guys, if ever you know someone who is suffering from depression or who has met this criteria. letting them know that you are there for them is one way of helping them, let them know that they have your shoulder to cry on.

together lets stop stigma, avoid using mental disorder as an adjectives, also people are not jar to be labelled, instead, let us be an advocate in increasing mental health awareness specially in the Philippines.

I am asking a little favor to please reblog this in order to increase awareness. we don’t wanna risk another life right? my hurt burns desire to give help for this people. You know hats even alarming? Suicide is the third leading cause of death here in our country according to the World Health Organization I know there are many out there who are hiding behind their mask, who are invisible, lets us make them know that there are people who care for them and draw them out to the shadow that’s why lets send hugs and understanding to them.

Sources: Depression beck scale, depression Ph., WHO.

[psycholojay]

5/365

Back to work! Today felt surprisingly chill—maybe everyone’s minds are still drifting somewhere between vacation mode and reality. After work, we went out for a bit and passed by Makati Circuit. I treated my sisters and my niece to lunch at S&R. It was a small proud moment for me—being able to treat them to something beyond the usual Jollibee, McDo, or karinderya meals. It felt good, like a quiet sign of growth.

In a moment of pure impulse, I also bought an inhaler (poppers). I’ve never owned one before, so this is definitely a new experience for me. 😬

I made my way back to the gym today—finally! Yey! Before that, I walked a little over 2km just to build some momentum and warm myself up, especially since it’s been a while. After working out, I walked home hoping hunger wouldn’t hit, since I’ve started cutting off eating after 6PM. And guess what? I survived!

Nothing major happened today, really. I’m writing this pretty late, laughing at myself, and ending the night with a video call from my special friend. Some days are simple, steady, and quietly comforting. 🌙✨

[psycholojay]

4/365

I woke up at 7 AM today. I tried not to fall back asleep, hoping it would help me rest early tonight—but as always, here I am, still awake with my thoughts.

The day moved quietly. I spent it in Manila, then found myself back in my room in Makati, cleaning corners I’ve ignored for weeks. Somewhere between folding clothes and sweeping the floor, nostalgia settled in. That familiar ache resurfaced—the longing to be found, to be cared for, to be seen, to feel beautiful in my own skin.

For a moment, I felt lost in the blur of who I was and who I’m trying to become. But I reminded myself to pause… to breathe… to appreciate the small truths of today instead of drowning in the “supposed to be.”

I’m also set to travel to the province for a batchmate’s wedding, but the spark I once felt for it faded without warning. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure if I still belonged there—or if I even wanted to go. Maybe it’s just a passing cloud. Maybe I just need time.

I’ll sit with the feeling for now. Eventually, I’ll know what my heart is ready for.

[nalahoney]

[psycholojay]

3/365

Today was spent mostly here in Bulacan. I woke up around 11 AM, and honestly, nothing much happened—except realizing how cold the wind is here. It reminded me of the ber months back in my hometown, especially during my student days. Funny how a simple breeze can bring back so many memories.

The day stayed simple. I played with Yuzu and Yuki, bought takoyaki (wow, that actually rhymes haha), and spent a good chunk of time scrolling through social media. And right now, I’m just outside admiring the moon. In a while, we’ll be heading back to Manila, and I know it might be a while again before I notice a full moon like this.

It’s kinda weird, but I feel like the moon refuels me—like it gives me energy and powers hahaha. Anyway, that’s it for today!

[psycholojay]

2/365

Today was my official return-to-work day, and also the day everyone we spent New Year’s Eve with packed up and headed back to their own lives. It’s a bittersweet shift—like the universe gently reminding me that joy is temporary, and life does not care if you’re still in holiday mode. It moves. With or without you.

We drove to Bulacan for a deceased colleague’s wake (not my colleague—I was proudly serving my role as plus one). The vibe was different this time. For years, I swore the spirits in that ancestral house didn’t like me. I used to think I’d get mysteriously sick just by stepping inside. Dramatic, I know, but past-me was convinced.

We arrived around 4 PM and the place was surprisingly calm, almost like it was saying, “Relax, no one’s haunting you today.” And honestly? I appreciated that. Except the peace didn’t last long because we discovered a rat inside Yuzu and Yuki’s doggy fly house—freshly murdered by the resident cat—PLUS a blood casually greeting us at the door. Very welcoming. Very ancestral-house aesthetic.

Other than that murderous-cat-meets-rat incident and the mini–blood situation, the day went on pretty normally. By 7 PM, my social battery fully collapsed, and I willingly entered hibernation mode. 😂

[psycholojay]

1/365 (Trying to blog again)

Day one of the year was reserved for rest — a quiet pause to breathe, reminisce, and strengthen the bonds that matter. I spent it at home, treasuring the softness of this single day and letting its stillness remind me that “growth begins the moment we choose to slow down.”

As I moved through simple routines — cooking, doing laundry, and being present with the people around me — I realized that even the smallest tasks can feel meaningful when done with intention. “It’s not the grand changes that shape us, but the quiet decisions we make every day.”

And somewhere between the warmth of shared moments and the comfort of familiar spaces, I found myself thinking about what’s ahead — new goals, little transformations, and the gentle courage to keep becoming. “The future is built in days like this — slow, steady, and full of quiet hope.”

[psycholojay]

Jayjay naging school idol ka na ba for someone??

Hmmmmm. Parang hindi naman, not really sure 😂😬

[psycholojay]

Unsent letter to the person who made me feel myself again.

Eight months ago, on the 24th,

it all began—

a slow, playful warming up,

born out of nothing but shared laughter

and moments we didn’t take too seriously.

At least, that’s what we said.

But somehow, somewhere in between

those jokes and soft silences,

something real found its way in.

It was brief,

but it carried a weight

no one else could see.

You became my quiet anchor—

steadily offering a kind of care

that made it easier to face

everything else.

And then, I heard.

And honestly,

I smiled for you.

Because I am happy for you.

Truly.

What you have now—

I hope you hold it close.

It’s rare.

It’s something I once wished for too.

This chapter is closing,

not with regret,

but with a quiet understanding.

It’s not an ending,

just a turning—

a path written in a different direction.

Sometimes I wonder

if what I felt was more than I allowed myself to admit.

Or if it was simply

something softer I kept tucked away.

We never named it.

And maybe that was the point.

So this letter stays unsent.

Just a collection of thoughts

meant for no one,

and yet entirely meant for you.

I’ll see you around—

in this life,

or in the quiet memory

of how it almost felt like something more.

[the-real-lizzy-dewyze]

116 Questions

Have you ever slept naked?

What's your bra size, or dick length?

Where was or would you want your first time to be and why?

Have you ever shown anyone your body parts and asked advice?

Have you ever seen any of your relatives naked?

Do you prefer doing it in the dark or in the light?

What's your greatest fantasy?

Would you suck on anyone's toes?

Where do you think would be the weirdest place to have sex?

Would you have sex there?

What and who turns you on?

What celebrity would you have sex with?

Whose the sexiest male you know?

Whose the sexiest female you know?

How many people would you have sex with at once?

Have you ever put on a strip show?

Have you ever seen a strip show?

Have you ever seen any of your friends naked?

Have you ever had a fantasy about a teacher?

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

If you could be a spice what would it be?

Have you ever worn your underwear two days in a row?

Have you ever compared your body parts to someone else's while you were both naked?

Have you ever took a piss standing up or squatting in the woods?

What was the weirdest place you have ever done something with someone?

Have you parents ever caught you doing anything?

Have you ever caught them?

Would you ever have sex in the ocean?

Have you ever gotten sand up you?

Have you ever run or walked around your house nude?

What do you wear to bed?

Have you ever done anything with someone in your parents bed?

Would you ever consider rubbing hot oil or cream all over your guy or girl?

Have you ever used lubricant?

Have you ever taken off your bra or underwear on a main road?

Would you ever do anything on a Ferris wheel?

Have you ever tasted cum or female juice?

How old were you when you got your first real kiss?

Have you ever done anything with anyone in a pool, hot tub, or bath tub?

Have you ever tied up or hand cuffed anybody?

Were you a witness to someone having sex?

Would you ever have phone sex?

Would you ever do anyone in a tree?

Would you ever have sex with your best friend?

Would you have sex withsomeone you don't even know?

Do you find physical pain like spanking an element of good sex?

Do you find older women attractive?

Do you find older men attractive?

Would you rather have sex with or without a condom?

Who was the person you kissed that was the best?

What excuse would you give your parents if they caught you having sex?

What color is your pubic hair?

Does your hair color match the color of your pubic hair?

Have you ever opened your eyes while making out?

How many people have you slept with?

Have you ever had anal sex?

Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

When was the last time you had a dirty dream?

If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

What’s your favourite position?

Name a sex position you’d like to try

What was your best orgasm ever?

Have you ever sent nudes of yourself?

Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

Have you ever made a sex tape?

What’s the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

Do you ever read erotic fiction?

What’s your favourite toy?

Have you joined the mile high club?

Would you say you’re kinky?

Do you enjoy shower sex?

Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever masturbated?

Do you like to be spanked?

What was your most embarrassing sexual experience?

Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

Do you like to kiss during sex?

Do you get tired after sex?

What’s a surefire way to turn you on?

Do you like dirty talk?

Have you had sex in a car?

Do you like sexting?

What’s the shortest and longest time it’s ever taken for you to have an orgasm?

Have you ever masturbated in front of your partner?

Have you ever been choked during sex?

Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

Have you ever worn lingerie?

Have you ever had sex outdoors?

Have you ever watched porn with someone?

Have you ever kissed multiple people in one night?

Have you ever had sex in a bathroom stall?

Have you ever tasted yourself?

Have you ever worn a butt plug?

Have you ever used a sex swing?

Have you ever had sex in a classroom or office?

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Have you ever been pinned down?

Have you ever had sex while drunk?

Have you ever had sex while high?

Have you ever orgasmed five times in one day?

Have you ever had morning sex?

Have you ever eaten food off of your lover’s naked body?

Have you ever used hot wax?

Have you ever worn crotchless underwear?

Have you ever had sex on the floor?

Have you ever had sex in front of a mirror?

What is your favorite porn category?

Do you like to have sex outdoors?

How long do you like foreplay to last?

Do you prefer being the dominant one or the submissive one?

Do you prefer rough or gentle sex?

Do you make noises during sex?

[steadygray]

answers on dms

[psycholojay]

Hello

[remanence-of-love]

[psycholojay]

2025 so far 🥹

This year has been both crazy and exhilarating, and I am focusing on improving myself even more.

[psycholojay]

The weight of breathing.

I was supposed to spend the day in a coffee shop, just to get some office work done—maybe lighten tomorrow’s load. But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to go. I felt lazy, unmotivated, and unwilling to even get dressed or step outside.

Lately, life feels like a giant puzzle where none of the pieces fit. I try to find the right ones, but they just don’t seem to belong anywhere. I’ve been losing interest in so many things I used to enjoy. Even going to the gym—something I thought could help regulate my emotions, maybe balance the chemicals in my brain—has started to feel like it’s not enough.

And what scares me the most is how overwhelming everything’s become. I don’t usually feel things this intensely. But the other day, as I was just sitting and thinking about life, I suddenly felt this wave of nervousness wash over me, out of nowhere.

For a few minutes, it was like I was trapped inside a tiny, airless box. My chest tightened, and I found it hard to breathe or even figure out what was going on. That’s when I realized—I was having a panic attack.

I wanted to cry, to release whatever was building up inside me—but even that felt impossible. The tears just wouldn’t come, and I sat there, stuck between needing to let it all out and not knowing how.

I don’t know what this is exactly. But it’s heavy. And it’s real.

[wetheurban]

You are not hard to love. You were just trying to bloom in places that didn’t have enough sunlight.

[psycholojay]

Finally decided to bring this idea to life—it’s been stuck in my head for weeks. Had to let it out somehow.

PS: Audio’s a bit off ’cause of the earphones!

[psycholojay]

April 1st—

a day whispered into time like a secret between winds—

where two birds, once caged by silence and distance,

found each other mid-flight.

They soared, unfamiliar yet drawn

as if their hearts had always known the rhythm of the other’s wings.

They circled the sky,

lingering in laughter,

feeding on moments,

sharing tales that felt like echoes from past lives.

One bird, with curious eyes, drifted deeper into the forest’s hush,

and the other followed—

not out of duty, but desire.

Together, they stumbled upon a place the trees had been guarding—

a quiet sanctuary where time forgot to tick.

There, they sipped their favorite drink,

and the world shrank until only the two of them remained—

weightless, infinite,

on a summit built from smiles and subtle glances.

And when the sky pulled them apart again,

they didn’t speak of goodbyes.

They just flew,

with the quiet knowing—

that in all the vastness above and below,

only one thing truly mattered:

they had found each other.

And perhaps,

that was the story all along.

[psycholojay]

Proof of life 😬

Life has become complicated lately. These shifting emotions are bothering me at times, but I’m still trying to carry myself through. I’m figuring out if I'll still be the same person I was before. I knew that something inside me had died that day; I just didn’t realize it at the time.