scott had a childhood that he wouldn’t wish on anyone, with abandonment issues to spare. he had once been someone’s lab rat, used because of his powers and his potential and now he’s forever haunted by the future of himself. he didn’t know if things could change, didn’t know if the future that he is so scared for is the one that will come to fruition, there’s so many things that terrify him all in the love of love, and he knows that maybe emma could be one of those people on the list that should terrify him, but when he saw her he had thought that maybe she just needed someone to just believe in her. let her know that she wasn’t alone and that she could be someone that people could look up to. he thinks it’s unfair all the time that they were cheated out of. scott still can’t wrap his head around the idea that one minute he was here and then he wasn’t. it’s hard to think about the fact that he’ll never get those moments back and what he had missed. so many important dates and watching his brothers grow up.
to be fully known and loved was a rare thing, and scott knew that he was lucky in that way to have been fully known and loved not just with jean but with emma. it was a different kind of love, not founded on young love and identity, scott had his time away from relationships and had to figure out who scott summer was having already a good idea on cyclops and what he was meant to be. he had fallen so short on himself that he felt like he was constantly working on the scott identity but he just wasn’t very good at it, and all the love that he had felt and had—he didn’t know where to put all of it, because it was too much. it should be illegal to feel this much about a person. but here he was anyway.
“of course you do,” he says, a gentle tease, his fingers reaching out to move the hair out of her eyes, his fingers grazing her cheek, allowing himself the small moment, feeling like it will go away any second now. it felt like scott was constantly holding his breath, like he was just short of drowning.
she says his name again, this time, it’s softer, gentler, it’s said in a way that he knows and is familiar with, his eyes bore into hers and he doesn’t know what to do with himself, his hands, but his body is reacting to it before he can really stop himself, he doesn’t have enough time to say, i missed you too. it doesn’t take long for his lips to remember what they’re supposed to, and he’s got his hands in her hair again, meeting her right in the middle. it’s a gentle kiss, at first, but scott admittedly was a little selfish and yearning, he deepens the kiss, cradling her face in his hands the only way that they know how to.
it’s sweet. this is sweet. he’s sweet. he’s so, so sweet. sweet is not the word many would use to describe scott summers but it is the word she will use. especially right now. there might be a million other words, BETTER words that could be used to describe him or them but it’s the one she likes. and it is sweet. emma has no idea what she’s done to deserve someone like him, someone like scott in her life. everyone knows she hasn’t lived a path entirely on the side of the angels. and there are some who are sure she’ll go back to her old ways as soon as she can. she’s done and see some terrible things that she KNOWS will follow her to hell whenever her time comes. but still somehow, she’s managed to get THE leader of the x-men to fall in love with her. and him with her. they’ve lived entirely different lifestyles, walked down entirely different paths before the blip. and faced two very different outcomes of the blip. and yet ...
HERE THEY ARE. here they are indeed. she never once envisioned that she’d be an x-man. or be with scott. she saw him on television once upon a time. beyond the thoughts of ‘ huh ‘, she dismissed them and their life as something she’d never live or have. and while she’s not a BIG believer of ‘ fate ‘ and ‘ destiny ‘, perhaps ... perhaps it was fate that she met the x-men when she did. emma will not say it was before she’d done anything too bad or anything she’d regret ( she’s long past that ) but ... ... still. had they met at any other time, would they be where they were now ? would they be who they were as a couple ? emma does not believe so. there was, IT WAS a right combination of factors in their life that led them to be where they are, even together.
but WHAT are they is a question that still remains. before the blip, they were NEW but settled. content. working towards something stronger. but now. she’s not so sure and emma isn’t so sure if he’s so sure either. probably not, knowing scott. so she has to, no NEEDS to ask. it’ll be best for both of them to get it cleared now. because no matter what, they would still have to work through it together. so she forces herself to part gently from the kiss. not because she wants to or because she’s made a MISTAKE. but the first thing she lets out is a soft giggle. they were kissing for ... well obviously she hasn’t kept track of the time but ENOUGH for her to want to slip back into their old routine. ❝ before ... before we go any further. i have to ask. ❞ hands move towards his face as she lightly strokes his cheeks. ❝ what are we ? where do we go from here ? do we go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend ? or do we go to being friends ? we should sort this out now before we get HURT. ❞
