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@puddlestomperkillahrhino72-blog
The thing I find most exhilarating about shooting up is the risk we willingly take every day. Each time I stick that needle in my arm, I put my entire life on the line and - in a sick way - being soo close to death makes me feel more alive than ever. Time seemingly slows as I wait anxiously for the burst of scarlet red that comes when Iāve hit my mark. I find the vein with ease - Iāve done this many times before. As I push the plunger down further and further, I can feel my heart tremble. Any second could be my last, and yet I keep pushing all the way to the end. Because in that moment - when the final drop enters my blood stream - the world slips away and thereās nothing but bliss. It literally takes my breath away; I cough. As I pull the needle out with shaky hands - my breathing shallow and irregular - I teeter on the edge of life & death. This is where I belong. I suppose you could say Iām a junkie
Sunny D. (@Flailr)
People think the druggie life style is scary but what I found scary was the moment I wanted out of it, it got boring, something that was once the most exciting thing got boring, I guess everything and everyone can wear off, even the things you thought couldnāt, even the fucking people, its one big k hole down the same damn hole every time, repeating its self while junkies repeat their words and conversations as if they are resisting for a play. When I started this it was because my heart was too heavy really and now its just empty and I guess what I figured out lately is maybe dealing with things is worth it after all, I want to feel it all and embrace everything, I donāt want to sit in a life of nothingness, nothing real, nothing nothing nothing. Im not really aware of what im trying to do but im aware that im trying my hardest to figure it out. Fuck it to saying fuck it anymore.
(via garbageofthehumanrace)
Itās funny how our definition of āfunā changes. One day youāre out with your friends, laughing and having āfunā. The next day youāre snorting pills, nodding out and having āfunā.
(via ericiswild)
What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless
FOOD
Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food
grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone canāt steal it
Some churches offer short term residence
Find your nearest homeless shelter
Look for places that are open to the public
A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
Local beaches, go for a quick swim
Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
first aid kit
Ā sunscreen
Ā a travel alarm clock or watch
Ā mylar emergency blanket
Ā a backpack is a must
Ā downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
Ā sleeping bag
Ā travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
Ā swiss army knife
Ā can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
Save a life reblog
i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess
also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.
In case someone needs this info.
To anyone who's thinking about starting..
If any of you look at the members of Tweaker Nation and think āThey look like theyāre having fun. They look so healthy and happy.ā or if youāre currently a user.
Stop.
Remember this.
Everyone hears the horror stories.
The sad testimonials.
The warnings and anti-drug propaganda.
And before that first hit, every single user thinks, āThatās not gonna happen to me.ā
Guess what.
āItā happens. To almost everyone.
Your options with meth are quit or eventually die.
Usually you end up fucking dead. And then thatās it. No accomplishments. No mark left on the world. Nothing more than contributing to another statistic they can use at the next D.A.R.E. meeting.
It is not glamorous.
It is not edgy.
It is weakness.
It is pain.
It is decay.
So before you think for one fucking second, āThat wonāt happen to me.ā
Remember that thatās what every tweaker said before that first hit.
Love yourself enough to make one good choice that will save your entire life.
- tough love from a former user
Very well said!
Friendly reminder to check youāre not holding tension in your body. Let your shoulders drop, unclench your hands and jaw. Take a deep breath. Much better.
I'm kind of the crystal meth of people.
If youāve never experienced me personally, the idea of me is terrifying. Iām caustic. Iām abrasive. Only assholes seek my company and once they have it, I overtake your life.
You see me destroy so many lives, but you think, āI can be his friendā while my goofy, fun, persuasive and reassuring aura will have you wishing you could introduce me to your friends, but you know you will be shunned for spending time with me. You will defend me to those you love while hoping the way I make you feel wonāt ever change, but it will. I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down.
After a while, the reasons you were interested in me fade but the need to be around me gets stronger. When I disappear ā and it happens when you need me most, Iām hiding āout thereā.
Iām more trouble than Iām worth, but I have to deal with me. You can try to forget me, or the times we had, but I always linger with you that ,āmaybe he changed and we wonāt get out of hand again,ā but you know deep down that Iām trouble. You promise only to see me in the mornings so as to not get to much if my time, as Iām a bu IUsy guy. You think you can fit me in between school or work. Maybe we will just bullshit over the past and that girl you and I used to bang together. We reconnect like we never came apart and you start feeling some type of way about why I used to be the party guy that kept it going all night and how getting older has changed us. Iām not funny anymore. Iām not cute. Iām a mess and I make those around me messy.
I love meth. I donāt even LIKE myself. Maybe thats why I thought, wishfully so, that I was just like Meth. I wish I was as popular, powerful, passionate and determined as meth makes me. I even get catcalled, a rarity for a tubby white guy, when Iām spunderful. Iāve been an addict for almost 20 years. I still get excited like Christmas morning every time I flick the torch.
I would suck the respective dick of whatever being controlled my life if I had the raw energy of that first hit of the day of meth inside myself without consuming meth. The fucked thing is that I do have that effect in others and, like Meth, I wield it like a toddler finding his fatherās pistol, with reckless abandon. Like Meth, I really only exist in my social circle to fill the emptiness with a other form of emptiness. I leave darkness where there was once light. I devour the last spark of life of those who trust me enough to let me in.
Iām meth, and I hate myself, especially when I recognize that any good intentions I project are just a sales gimmick. Iām easy to like but horrible to live with. If I offer you my friendship, know that it will end poorly for you. I canāt help it really. I am what I am and you have been warned.
Deep shit yo.
I need to read this everyday its so well described!
I wish..
I could let it go. The dope, ya know? Im trying so fucking hard. Struggling constantly, Trying to get it right. I know what it does to me. The monster it turns me into. I remember how bad the crash is. I can still recall the heavy dead feeling locked inside my chest. How it would creep up on me, filling me with dread a little more every hour. Iāll never forget the violent outburst or the break downs. I hate it. All of it. Yet when its infront of me, I still pick up the pipe and twist it left and right.
Transformation takes time. A caterpillar doesn't become a butterfly overnight. It climbs the branch and never gives up.
Always remember: the kindest people are those who had the hardest time. They are kind because they know what hell is like.
myself (via invincible-warrior)
Just be free. Love Unconditionally. Forgive every single soul thatās hurt you. Forgive yourself too. Release everything old back into the Universe. You are born anew. The God within you is stirring. Embrace your Truth.