LEXICAL ODDITIES

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

This is it, the matrix is your mind, a false world of shadows on the wall full of false properties that you have created. We live by the rules we have created, because in the end only you can make a life. If you truly understand this, then you become the living god, and gods essence can then dwell within you.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

There is no spoon, like there is no obstacle. The wall you refuse to climb is your disbelief. If god asked you to step out into the turbulent waters, but you knew he was god and he promised you the impossible, how can disbelief exist. You sink because there is no buoyancy in your faith.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Talk Therapy

Sometimes people will ask my why,

Why does your head hang so low on some days,

Why does it shine almost as if with halo on others?

Sometimes they will hear me whispering,

Perhaps prayers or curses, and often of myself, to myself.

I should stop behaving like this,

But how else can you behave when this is how it’s always been?

Have you considered talking to professionals?

As if anyone could ever become a professional at life.

Since childhood it’s existed, a pit as dark and deep,

maybe more, than the lowest ocean trench.

Many things come from it, I wouldn’t call it a curse.

Nightmares and dreams, grandeur and pleas.

What would you like today, a love so grand that your ego melts away?

Perhaps a guilt so deep that even passing reflection stirs you mad?

Why are you so silent sometimes?

I’ve learned I can’t drown out the internal feed.

Why are you so light today?

I’ve learned that it’s just me,

this hole of me.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

What Loving You Has Done To Me v2

She extended her hand, an empty inviting palm.

I tried to put my heart into it,

but it slipped right through the cracks of her fingers.

She looked onward, hand still extended at me.

So I spat in it and it filled the cracks of her fingers,

She looked at me intently and extended the other,

“More”.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

What Loving You Has Done To Me

I could fill the pages of a dictionary-front to back with every wonder and word,

Attempting to describe the transcendent nature of loving you,

I could equally never fill those pages… there is no word sufficient enough to ascribe to it.

The sensation of your presence supersedes all abstract notions of experience,

It is a primal and fundamental encounter,

Like the air mingling within my lungs providing life to me,

Like the warm meal which thaws my soul and nourishes me.

I wish to reach into my chest and present you with my still beating heart,

It will beat forevermore for you.

Please care for it and do not drop it by the wayside,

And if you must discard it please,

Bury it in a hole in the ground of some flower bed,

So that when it blooms it can have one last chance to bloom for you.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Obbatalá

How long had I wandered halfheartedly,

Aimless on the beats of the ceaseless machine.

It is dark and cold here,

Soulless and empty,

Only a hunger for more that never ends.

Until I saw the light and a hand stretched out

Begging me to wake, to flee this place.

It cradled my heart and yanked me awake,

Out of this treacly pitch.

As Christ commanded lazarus to rise from the pit,

The breath of Olodumare filled my lungs and I am jolted,

I am ashamed, forgive me Oba, I have neglected your gift.

Forgive me.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

I looked and I hated what I saw,

Dirty selfish, a soul unclean.

I looked and I saw,

So I wept.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

God made dust and he saw that it was good.

In seeing it good he wished for someone to see it,

So he made man.

Man observed the dust and he saw it was bad,

So he tried to clean it, and when he couldn’t he tried to kill it,

So they made war.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Warm Plains Winds:

I heard sad cowboy songs over my radio,

And it reminded me of the softness of your face.

I heard the sad yelping of ranchers in pain,

And it reminded me of your velvet gaze.

I shimmied to the melancholy riffs

And it reminded me of your sweet lips.

I missed you today.

Sincerely,

Your Honky Tonk Man.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

A Day of Doom Scrolling

Nearly nude photo shoot,

A set of perfectly rolled marijuana cigarettes,

Vintage and luxury cars,

Posing by a bathtub full of money,

Followed by advertisements.

Political statements and adjoined group photos,

Words so hateful they would make your father cry,

Clips of a man being blown in half, halfway across the world,

Followed by more half nude photos,

And more advertisements.

People with big muscles moving iron,

More half naked women in suggestive poses,

Supplements covering a dining room table untouched for half a year,

Then more advertisements.

Perhaps if I’m lucky tomorrow I will find a sliver of reality,

Or maybe a morsel of compassion,

Something to tear me away from this panopticon of inhumanity.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

I Saw a Bird Soar Across the Sky

Born with a cry and off with sigh,

In between, some give living a try.

Others hide behind their fears,

Like older siblings protecting us from pain,

Some push them aside to show them,

Show them the courage they contain.

Brave little brothers and sisters with no clue,

And no worries of the painful hues

That the world can paint on our canvases.

Some find joy in the warmth of a partner,

Some go galavanting in an endless summer.

Some die alone, with not an ounce of love in their hearts.

Some are killed in the pursuit of their art.

Only the dead are truly free to rest,

While the rest of us are enslaved by existence,

To rot and die or try our best.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Prayer to the Kensei

“You can only fight the way you practice”

UNYIELDING, UNENDING, UNCOMPROMISING, UNBENDING, UNWAVERING.

RUTHLESSLY RENITENT AND RESOLUTELY RESOLVED

DOGGEDLY DETERMINED AND DELIBERATELY DEVOTED DILIGENCE.

STOUTLY SPIRITED, STEADFAST AND STALWART STEELINESS

VIGOROUS VERVE AND

ZESTFUL ZEALOUSNESS.

“To know ten thousand things, know one well.”

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Is there anything more tragic than the people who wrought you into this world and who are supposed to love you more than anything under the filament and stars; to think that giving you things born of dirt, should be a sufficient placeholder for the warmth of genuine love?

All too soon, these “things” will be gone, returned to dust as we all will, and perhaps the only thing I could have taken with me was missing from this husk.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face.”

-Franz Kafka

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Tansparent

I see you,

I see through you,

I see what you wish to occlude,

I see the truth,

I see the void in your hearts and souls.

I see your degeneracy and your selfishness.

I see through the words you use,

As cover for your intentions,

As sure as the sun remains true,

I see the darkness inside all of you.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

When the Time Comes

Now they are afraid,

Today the fear materializes,

A worry I won’t be here at the nights end.

Or that I’ll explode, terrible and turbulent;

Where was this worry yesterday?

I have a lifetime of yesterdays,

29 years worth of opportunities squandered,

To ask why my eyes looked empty and wandered.

I don’t need your worries today, you should have given them yesterday.

[pulcinellas-soapbox]

Real, unreal, genuine and disingenuous,

What could be more real than the urge to crack him in two,

Breaking his hypocritical facade and his nose too.

What could be more sincere than the raw pain of others,

And the unfiltered joy to be experienced in the most mundane things;

A fish hanging from the end of a spear,

The warm touch of a friend as a cold envelopes my body and heart,

Silence so sound you could hear a pin drop on the forest ground.

Maybe I’m “extreme”, I think you’re just dull,

I am Sharp and receptive, i feel what all of you ignore to feel,

And I suffer the snow blindness,

I accept the thorns of your rose petal world.

I suffer, but before I die, I shall know I have lived.