Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Today's Document
Kaledo Art
Claire Keane
almost home
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
PR's Tumblrdome
No title available
todays bird
Discoholic 🪩
titsay
if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Andulka
ojovivo
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from Italy
seen from Jamaica
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
@skxllz
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𝔰 𝔨 𝔲 𝔩 𝔩 𝔷 𝔪 𝔞 𝔰 𝔱 𝔢 𝔯 𝔩 𝔦 𝔰 𝔱
the lost boys
barbie
peaky blinders
shameless
hazbin hotel
bishop, esra
oaks, marlo
davidson, wrenly
rosslyn, divine
thompson, thalia
milkovich, chester
fraye, jacqueline
prompts
prompts 2
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- 17+ on this blog. please dni if you're below that, I mostly post out of pocket content that I rather not have anyone younger interact with.
- asks open, requests closed for now.
- call me dev, devan, d.
Happy pride month to everyone but especially to Sam Emerson and the Frog Brothers.
babe wake up , time for the nightly crying sesh
There's something about the phrase "deadly neurotoxin" that is just so satisfying. Deadly neurotoxin... deadly neurotoxin. I think it would be a lovely name for a beautiful baby girl, not that I'd ever have a child. Could you imagine?
reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS
holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.
I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT
SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
OKAY I SWEAR TO GOD THIS THING WORKS YOU HAVE TO PATIENT BC I WISHED THAT I COULD MOVE AWAY FROM MY SHITTY TOWN TO A WARM PLACE AND GUESS WHAT THIS JULY IM MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA OKAY GUYS IM NOT MAKING THIS UP I AM SO CONFUSED ACTUALLY THIS IS GREAT BYE
LEMME TELL U SOMETHING THIS SHIT WORKS
Hey guys ! I registered my kitty, Bear, in the pet lovers choice awards !
If you guys could go vote for him i would really appreciate it ! 🥰
Bear LOVES to make his presence known by screaming like a banshee when entering a room.
Hey guys ! I registered my kitty, Bear, in the pet lovers choice awards !
If you guys could go vote for him i would really appreciate it ! 🥰
Bear LOVES to make his presence known by screaming like a banshee when entering a room.
gonna start callin my short friends shortrib
𝓔𝓷𝓳𝓲𝓷 — your completely (un)serious boyfriend
every single time you bend down in front of him he smacks your ass like it’s a reflex. like a doctor hitting your knee with that little hammer. he genuinely doesn’t even realize he’s doing it anymore.
when you take off your shirt he hollers, “BOOBIES!” loud enough for half of the cleaner hq to hear. rudo once dropped a wrench because of it.
he got a pic of you in his pocket where you sleep with your mouth wide open, double chin included. he proudly shows it EVERYONE.
calls you baby in increasingly stupid variations. sugarbaby. babycakes. babygirl. babybel cheese. babesaurus rex.
absolutely the type to fake dramatic injuries for attention. “aughhh… my heart…” — “what happened?” — “you looked too pretty.”
if you ignore him for more than ten minutes he starts escalating. first it’s whining. then poking. then laying on top of you like a weighted blanket. “hello? hello? customer service? my girlfriend stopped loving me.”
he cannot flirt normally. ever. he points at you and goes, “that one’s mine btw,” like he found a cool rock.
one time he tried to kiss you smoothly and accidentally headbutted you hard enough to make both of you see stars.
obsessed with making you laugh. if you laugh so hard you snort, he acts like he just won the lottery.
if you’re cooking he WILL appear behind you and steal food straight from the pan while acting offended when you hit his hand away. “wow. abuse. in my own home.”
absolutely the kind of boyfriend who starts fake beef with inanimate objects for hurting you.“this table got one more time to hit my girl before i square up.”
loves putting his cold hands on your skin just to hear you shriek.
kisses you mid-sentence. not romantically either. fully to shut you up because he thinks it’s funny.
every time you wear something slightly revealing he malfunctions, in a “walking into walls because he’s staring” way.
would 100% yell “THAT’S MY WIFE!” over the smallest accomplishments. you parallel parked successfully? THAT’S MY WIFE!!!!
he treats your bra like a deadly ancient artifact whenever you ask him to unclasp it. “okay wait. hold on. i almost got it. why’s this built like a fucking escape room?”
once tried to carry you bridal style to be romantic. immediately dropped you both onto the couch because he tripped over absolutely nothing. another time he knocked you out on the doorframe.
if you’re shorter than him he rests his chin on your head constantly. if you’re taller than him he still tries. the posture is horrendous.
shamelessly fishes for compliments. “babe do i look sexy today?” — “you’re wearing one sock and my shirt?” — “answer the question.”
he sees you naked and suddenly turns into the loudest man alive. “WOOOOOOO!!!!” then rips his shirt off like in the werewolf meme.
genuinely thinks couple arguments can be solved with snacks and cuddles. “okay but what if we held hands and got noodles instead?”
when the fic has 10k+ words, fluff, angst, smut right at the end, friends to lovers, character who’s down bad for reader, AND Y/N DOESNT ACT LIKE A CHILD
good morning to horror fans, fat bitches, people with psychosis, they/thems, people who can’t drive, trans women, witches, and single dads. the rest of you... you’re on your own
I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.
sometimes it just ends up being something like
ITS BACK
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
okay. okay, it was too quiet when you walked towards the kitchen in the cleaner headquarter. rudo didn’t yell about sweets. zanka wasn’t crashing out somewhere. no loud music blasted from riyo’s room. not to mention enjin was nowhere to be seen.
then you smelled it. smelled like butter and sugar. mmm. this was good, right? at least until you smelled the faint smoke under it.
“oh. oh no.” you hurried toward the kitchen only to stop dead in your tracks.
a whole ass disaster awaited you. flour covered the counters. one pan had somehow melted on one side. eggshells here. eggshells there.
rudo stood on a stool and stirred something aggressively while riyo decorated something that looked like burned pastry with pink frosting. poor zanka held dramatically on a plushie while trying to fan the smoke out of the window with his free hand.
enjin stood in the middle of all of it. apron on, sleeves rolled up, hair hanging into his face. man looked exhausted.
the moment they saw you everybody froze.
“surprise?” rudo offered.
you just blinked at them.
“oh no,” riyo gasped. “she hates it.”
“i told you we should’ve cleaned first,” zanka hissed.
“you literally dropped the batter on the floor,” rudo snapped back.
“you stepped in it!”
“kids,” enjin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
the sight nearly made you laugh. nah, you actually giggled softly. then a full belly laughter as rudo poked accusingly zanka’s flour covered face.
“you look ugly as hell.”
“shut up!”
“enough,” enjin interrupted their bickering.
your chest warmed painfully at the scene in front of you. because this chaotic little family had become yours somehow.
rudo looked away, being a little embarrassed. “we just wanted to do something.”
“yes. rudo had told us about mother’s day and so we thought we should celebrate you,” riyo added brightly.
zanka shoved the plushie towards you, and now you saw it was holding a single flower. “these are from all of us.”
fuck, your heart was so, so full of love. you felt all warm and fuzzy and this was the best thing ever.
“thank you,” you whispered.
riyo suddenly grabbed your wrist. “sit down! sit down! we made breakfast.”
you eyed the suspiciously blackened food. “is it edible?”
“probably,” rudo answered honestly.
“It’s edible,” enjin corrected, though less confidently.
you sat down and yes, it was awful. too sweet. too burned. it was still the most delicious thing you ever ate. one of the best mornings you ever had and you knew, in a few years you’ll still think fondly of it.
riyo kept talking over everyone. zanka pretended not to care but secretly pushed the least burnt pieces onto your plate. rudo argued with everyone every five seconds while watching your reactions to make sure you liked everything.
and enjin watched you quietly the entire time, because seeing you smile made the chaos worth it.
later, after you all cleaned the kitchen together and the kids scattered off to do their thing, you found him outside. he was fixing something on his umbreaker, a cig hanging loosely from his mouth.
gently you hugged him from behind and kissed his shoulder. “thank you.”
“you deserve it, mama.”
the nickname affected you more than you let on. because enjin said it and he never said things he didn’t mean. some might argue you were more like a big sister, but what you felt came closer to motherly. so it made your heart burst with happiness.
knowing that he got you emotional enjin turned around and kissed your forehead.
home. all of them were your home.
Could I request a silly lil story of like the reader being like a mother to Rudo 🥺 entirely platonic and fluffy of just like the reader being like 'I've met Rudo once and he is now my son. No harm will come to him'
The moment you saw Rudo...scruffy, defensive, and looking like he’d been through a literal and metaphorical trash compactor...your brain didn't just feel sympathy. It staged a full-scale coup. Your maternal instincts didn't just "kick in"; they broke down the door and claimed him as territory.
"I've known this boy for exactly twenty minutes," you whispered to yourself, watching him aggressively glare at a sandwich you’d given him as if it were an explosive device. "But if anything happens to him, I will dismantle this entire world."
Rudo, of course, was not on board. He was a lone wolf. A survivor. He didn't need anyone, let alone a stranger who kept looking at him with "the eyes."
"Why are you still following me?" Rudo snapped, his voice crackling with teenage angst and a deep-seated distrust of kindness. "Go away."
"I can't," you said simply, adjusting his collar which was slightly crooked. He flinched back, startled by the casual contact. "I have adopted you. It’s a legal process in my heart. You are my son now."
Rudo’s face went through three different shades of confusion.
"Your what?" you interrupted, pulling a spare scarf out of your bag.
"It’s cold. Wrap this around your neck, I will do it for you."
"I don't need a scarf! I have gloves that can literally—"
"Rudo. Scarf. Now."
He stared at you, his intimidating aura crumbling under the weight of your pure, unadulterated 'Mom Energy.' Slowly, grumbling under his breath about "insane people in here" he took the scarf and wrapped it around himself. It was soft. It smelled like laundry detergent and safety. He hated how much he liked it.
Masterlist
LMAO Enjin entering his room only to find Dear, Guita and Rudo all nestled comfortably on your relaxed limbs (left shoulder is where Guita laid, right shoulder is where Rudo leaned over and Dear sprawled ever so comfortably and cozily on your lap, holding you with his cute little oversized little arms clinging around your waist, tiny hidden fingers occasionally gripping onto the back of your shirt).
"Guess I missed the nappin' invite, got any space for me doll?"
"Mm, not at the moment, no. Sorry En'. Should've been here sooner, the kids were really tired after today"
and this grown ass man is literally pouting, huffing under his breath and carelessly flopping his hefty height right down next to you (which you scold him for). glaring at the three little gremlins that may or may not, had plotted this from the beginning of the day.
Things I need to find:
• My sanity
• Enjin smut
• My creativity
• Zodyl smut
