Pun-ch Lines

A blog dedicated to the lame jokes I make during my everyday, pun-infused life. @punchlinesblog on Twitter.

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What is Yoda’s favorite pastime?

Yodeling.

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I know someone who works in a trophy shop. I guess you could say he's my... Trophy friend.

Golden!

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What's it called when you kill your best friend?? Homiecide

That joke is killer.

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What do martial artists like to eat? Kung food.

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Why couldn't the pencil get up? Because he was bedwritten.

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The Cabbage Order

What rule do cabbages follow? Coles-law.

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Where did the astronaut fly to?

I don’t know, he didn’t planet.

[tastefullyoffensive]

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Which country does bacteria like the most? 

Germany.

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Future Carear

What did the butt want to be when it grew up?

An asstronaut.

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A Toadal Problem

Why did the frog have tape stuck on him?

Because he couldn’t ribbit off.

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Miner-al

Do miners prefer iron or nickel?

Either ore.

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Land of the Rising Sunny Side Up

What are people's favorite type of breakfast in Tokyo? Japancakes.

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Why didn’t the oyster like to share?

Because it was shelfish.

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An Awful Waffle Mishap

Why shouldn’t you take waffles to the beaches in Southern California?

Because they’ll be sandy Eggos. It’s shorely not a good idea.

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What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey

Lol! I sea what you did there. ;)

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Why couldn't Bill Gates get a girlfriend. Because his penis was micro-soft

This one is good! I want to shout it from my Windows.