not exactly. it was not the answer she was looking for, but it was the answer she’d quickly come to expect. his tone of voice seemed wrong to her, like there were other words hiding right behind what he’d said .. the other words were the ones that could to the real explaining if he’d only let them past his lips. it was all happening so quickly, each beat leading to the point where they were now held securely in the back of an unfamiliar rover that peeled off from the shoulder of the road and sped into the night. her eyes had been drawn to the rearview mirror and remained fixated there until kiev’s car disappeared completely from view. it was a matter of seconds. as the man in the front turns his face to her, she’ll shrink back in her seat instinctively —— creating distance between herself and him that she thought would keep her safe. but she wasn’t safe, not from his words. not from the words that spilled from his lips with ease, the accusations and story becoming a web poised to entangle her as an incredulous exhalation rushes past her pillowy brims. and then, for a moment, there was silence. before she could gather the courage to speak again, before she could work through what was lies and what was the truth .. kiev’s voice from beside her strikes sharply against the tail end of the other man’s story. unfortunately, his explanation did not include quite the denial that she was hoping for. he HAD gotten involved, had brought whatever was happening down upon them, and he’d lied .. he’d kept it all from her. pit of her stomach ties up in more knots, thoroughly unsettled, her eyes welling slightly with tears that threatened to spill forth onto her roseate cheeks at any moment. her hands clasped together in her lap, a gentle inhalation through her nose following a tiny, almost imperceptible sniffle on her part. she tries her best to hide her emotion, though she’s quite sure that she wouldn’t be able to hide it for long. her chest ached with betrayal, a unique and individual pain that radiated through the body long after the initial blow. no knowing that kiev had been involved, she’d given up on the idea of calling the police .. knowing that bringing any authority into the situation would undoubtedly end up hurting him worse. ‘ why didn’t you tell me ? ’ single question, mouthed to him almost in silence as she finally turns her head to look once more at the man sitting beside her.
her question doesn’t come as a surprise. it does, however, echo a few times in his head almost hauntingly. kiev only had one answer, the truest he could compose, but there’s a crippling fear sitting at the pit of his stomach --- fear that he’ll lose her because it’s not good enough of a reason. and before he could even string the words together, seeing the other man watching the two of them in the rear view mirror is turning his mouth dry, the boy unable to mutter anything in discomfort. it’s as if he had no right to be vulnerable at this time, or else the man would take the opportunity to strike right back. “ lis--- “ he begins, the baby blue in his hues canceled out by the orange street lights pouring in from outside. it’s two or three am, and they’re speeding to god knows where ----- kiev was making an effort to remember which roads they took, but has lost track since the man had provoked him. continuing, he keeps his voice shushed, wanting to deprive the passenger in the front of their conversation, but it’s almost impossible with the searing silence. “ i really didn’t want to make you worry. or be dragged into it. that’s all. “ his gaze falls to his lap, unable to meet the other’s. aside from the unforgivable fact that he’d kept her in the dark, how would he even begin to explain why he had done it in the first place? it was a combination of his concerning impulsivity and a long history with --- “ that kid, mickey romano. you still in touch with him? “ the man cuts --- or rather completes his thought, supplementing his girlfriend with more information that he’s really not ready to elaborate on just yet. tearing his gaze away from the male, kiev shakes his head in response, wordless at this point. “ saved his little garage, am i right? and now you’re doing it again with some new recruits, and you didn’t even think we’d figure it out? don’t tell me it’s just coincidence that your buddy’s gone off the grid. “ his tightly pursed lips are already ajar in an effort to retaliate, brows tightly furrowed as he goes over the accusations, but he’s halted by his own attempt to subdue his temper. aside from being entirely clueless about everything that he’s just laid out, he’s mad about another thing --- with his disappearance, there’s something mickey’s not telling him. and as much as he wants to prioritize placating lis first, who must be an overwhelming mixture of upset, confused, and shitless scared next to him at the moment, he can feel himself fuming. “ that’s NOT me, “ he spits out, words cutting through the momentary silence, wanting to make one thing clear --- he’s completely laid his hands off of this. “ mickey and i --- we haven’t talked since the last race. i told him i’m out for good. whoever’s recruiting is just using my name. i don’t --- i don’t even know why he’s gone missing. “ he looks over to lis, eyes almost pleading for even just a little bit of trust. / @deaditcs
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