Punky Monkey Fan Fiction

a punky monkey fan fiction blog. whether sarah and cosima are your otp or brotp this is the blog for you. send through prompts and get a reply

[punkymonkeyfic]

Sarah finally tells cosima that she loves her.

It wasn’t some big proclamation. It wasn’t planned or mulled over or thought out. In fact, when it happened for the first time Cosima wasn’t even sure that her girlfriend had even realised what she said. 

They were goofing around on the couch, wasting time while waiting for Cal to drop Kira off from her visit. Cosima had just told some elaborate science joke which had caused her to burst into uncontrollable laughter while Sarah looked on with a confused but adoring grin on her face.

“I love you,” she chuckled and shook her head fondly before looking towards the door at the sound of a key.

While Sarah seemed unaware of the three little words that had slipped past her lips, Cosima froze, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she watched her girlfriend race to the door to greet her daughter. Sarah showed her all the time how much she cared for her but she had never said the words out loud. It made Cosima’s stomach flip happily as she watched Sarah greet Cal and Kira with a hug. 

Once Cal was gone and Sarah sent Kira to put her things away in her room, the Brit strolled back to the couch, a surprised squeak coming from her when Cosima pulled her in for a deep kiss. 

“What was tha’ for?” Sarah asked with a raised eyebrow when they finally parted.

“Nothing,” Cosima shrugged, “Just love you, is all.”

[punkymonkeyfic]

more rockband AU please!!!

Catch up on the rockband au here

Their moment was interrupted by Art who apologetically pulled Sarah away and just out of ear shot. While Cosima couldn’t tell what he was saying, the angry look on Sarah’s face let her know that whatever it was the British teen wasn’t happy about it. 

“You okay?” Cosima asked when Sarah eventually made her way back over to where she stood.

“We’ve gotta go,” Sarah all but growled, “Paparazzi found us,” her fists clenched together tightly and for a second Cosima was sure she was going to hit something. 

“It’s fine,” Cosima tentatively reached for the other girl’s clenched fist, “We can go.” 

Sarah’s whole body practically vibrated with anger and Cosima wished she could read what the other girl was thinking. The shop was obviously special to her and the fact that she had been discovered, that her private sanctuary had been invaded was obviously eating her up inside. 

“Sarah,” Art called from where he stood near the front door, “This is our window, we need to go now if we have any chance of losing them.”

“Fuck,” Sarah whispered, her eyes closing momentarily as she ran her free hand through her unruly hair. Her gaze was hard when they opened again and she nodded resolutely, pulling her hand from Cosima’s grip. 

“Give them nothing,” she said, “No matter what they say or what they do just keep moving towards the car.”

“What do you mean?” Cosima asked as Sarah nudged her towards the front of the store, “What will they say?”

“You’ll go first,” Art told Cosima without giving Sarah a chance to answer, “The car is waiting and then we’ll follow.”

“Sarah?” Cosima asked again, nerves suddenly hitting her at the brusque attitude of the bodyguard and his charge.

“It’ll be fine,” Sarah’s eyes softened, “You’ll be fine, just, move quickly yeah and I’ll be right behind you.”

Opening the door was like stepping out into a wall of sound. Cameras clicked and photographers yelled, and Cosima felt like the world was closing in around her as she pushed her way towards the black SUV she could see waiting for them. 

“Sarah!”

“Give us a smile, darling!”

“This your latest conquest?”

“Over here, over here!”

“Move on quickly don’t you!”

It was relentless and cruel and when Cosima finally made it into the cool interior of the SUV her heart was pounding in her chest. It was only when the door shut behind Sarah and Art clambered into the front seat that the sound eventually stopped. Beside her Sarah’s sunglasses hid her gaze but her mouth was drawn into a line line and her hands were again clenched into fists. 

“Is it always like that?” Cosima asked as the SUV peeled away.

“Yes,” Sarah sounded tired, her head dropping back against the seat, “Always.”

“I’m going to take the long way back,” Art said from the front seat, “See if we can lose them,” his eyes met Cosima’s in the rearview mirror and the concern she saw there for the girl sitting next to her made Cosima’s heart break.

For all the fame, the concerts, the adoration that Sarah and her siblings gained there was a dark side that not many people could understand but she was starting to. Sarah’s life was not her own. She was hunted like prey by people who would do and say anything if it meant they got a photo that would earn them thousands and they had just found one of the few places that Sarah had sought refuge in. A place where she could just be herself, a girl who loved music, and not the rockstar who was the property of millions. 

Cosima wasn’t sure what she could say to make the other girl feel better. When she was dropped off that evening she would go back to being Cosima Niehaus, college student. No one would hound her, no one wanted anything from her, she could just be. 

With words failing her she reached slowly to place her hand over Sarah’s fist, her thumb running a soothing pattern over the other girl’s knuckles. The silence in the car was almost stifling but eventually Sarah flipped her hand over and allowed Cosima’s fingers to slip between her own. 

In the front of car Art muttered a curse from the driver’s seat as a car pulled up alongside them. Sarah’s body tensed but she didn’t let go of Cosima’s hand and suddenly Cosima knew that while she couldn’t do anything about the circus outside she would try and do anything to remove the frown lines from between Sarah’s eyes. She searched her mind for something, anything that she could tell Sarah that would remove her from their current situation, a story that she could weave that would distract them from the vultures with cameras.

“Have I ever told you about the time I ended up with my hair getting eaten by a goat?”

[punkymonkeyfic]

Sarah gets into a bar fight and Cosima takes care of her injuries when she gets home. (Brotp). Thank you!

The muttered curse woke Cosima from the light doze she had fallen into, the book on her chest sliding into her lap as she sat up, pushing her glasses back into place. The lights were still on and it didn’t take her long to spot the source of the noise. Sarah was struggling to close the door to the loft, her hand eye coordination clearly suffering from her night out at the pub. 

“You clearly had fun,” Cosima chuckled, a gasp escaping when her sister turned around and she spotted blood on her face, “Sarah! What the hell happened?” she was off the couch as fast as her tired body would allow.

“Twat at the pub was runnin’ his mouth,” Sarah muttered, wincing when her frown pulled at the split skin above her eyebrow. 

“Let me see,” Cosima approached Sarah slowly, her own eyebrows raised waiting for her sister’s permission before she touched her. 

Sarah nodded, her posture deflating as Cosima gently cupped her cheek, turning her head gently so she could take a better look at her injuries. The blood that was slowly seeping from the wound above Sarah’s eyebrow was already beginning to dry on her cheek and her sister was also sporting a split lip. 

“Come on,” Cosima sighed. She knew there would be no use scolding Sarah for getting into another fight, especially not while her sister was clearly drunk. 

She went to grab for Sarah’s hand but her sister hissed and pulled back. Cosima winced when she noticed the skin of Sarah’s knuckles was split and she could tell that bruises were already beginning to form. 

“Let’s clean up the blood first and then we’ll sort those out,” she grabbed Sarah’s elbow and gently led her across the loft to the bathroom. She pushed on Sarah’s shoulders until her sister got the hint and situated herself on the edge of the bath tub. 

Once she was certain that Sarah had settled, Cosima went and grabbed the first aid kit she knew Felix kept above the sink and ran a wash cloth under the water. She pushed the stool he kept next to his bath so that she could sit in front of her sister, their knees touch as she reached forward and dabbed at the blood on Sarah’s cheek with the damp washcloth. 

“You’re okay,” she murmured when Sarah’s breathing hitched. She made sure to keep her touch gentle as she washed and cleaned the wounds, soothing Sarah as best she could while her sister tried to keep her expression stalwart. 

The events of the evening were clearly catching up with Sarah by the time that Cosima had finished and her entire body leaned forward so that her forehead was resting on Cosima’s shoulder. Her body shook with the effort it was taking to keep her emotions in check and Cosima’s heart broke for her usually stoic sister. The British woman shouldered so much of the burden that it was no wonder she had reached her breaking point.

“Shhh,” she murmured as she wrapped her arms around Sarah’s back, “I know, I know, I’m here.” 

She didn’t know what prompted her to do it but she soon found herself humming and indistinct tune. It wasn’t until Sarah’s shoulders stopped shaking and her breathing settled that Cosima realised it was one she had heard the other woman hum to her daughter when she was putting her to bed. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” she pressed a kiss to the other woman’s forehead as she pulled away, “Things will be better in the morning.”

[punkymonkeyfic]

Cosima'a feelings for Sarah (one-sided) as she watched her with Cal and Kira.

It’s not fair for you to be jealous. You know this and yet it doesn’t stop the churning in your gut when you see his hand on her back. She deserves this. She deserves to be happy but you want so badly for the person to make her happy to be you.

Kira loves you. The little girl is your world but she isn’t yours. She’s his too. She has his eyes, shares his passion for the outdoors and you know Cal loves his daughter. You’re not sure you’ve ever pined for anything more than you have watching the three of them laugh and play together as a family.

Sarah has no idea of the feelings you have for her. If she did you are sure that she wouldn’t sit so close to you or touch you as often as she does. It’s nothing more than a casual hug here or playful nudge there but each time it happens your heart quickens and you imagine what it would be like to capture her playful smirk with your lips.

She throws a smile over her shoulder at you and your smile back is instantaneous. She is beautiful and strong and everything you could ever hope or dream for. But she is his. Has been for eight years even if they were apart. 

You know you need time and space and distance to at least have a chance of getting over your feelings for her, but the thought of not being in Sarah’s life is too awful to fathom. You think you’ll take the pain of having to watch her be happy with him over the pain of not seeing her at all. Even if watching her love someone else is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.

[punkymonkeyfic]

Please can you do another exchange student instalment? They make me (and I bet others!) very happy :) x

Catch up on the exchange student au here

School that day was absolute torture. Itseemed to Cosima that Sarah was taking every opportunity that she get up closein her space. A deliberate nudge here, reaching across the table to grabsomething else there. By the time the afternoon bell rung Cosima felt like shewas going to combust.

“You a’ight there, Cos?” Sarah asked with awink as the two of them headed out the school gates.

“Yeah, Niehaus,” Beth said as she jogged tocatch up to the two of them, “You’ve been on edge all day.”

“I’m good,” Cosima said, “Didn’t sleepwell,” she continued, her ears heating up as she heard Sarah snort next to her.

“You sure it’s got nothing to do withwanting to stick your tongue down Sarah’s throat all day?” Beth asked beforerunning off to catch up with Alison, her raucous laughter echoing along behindher.

“Oi!” Sarah yelled after her friend, “Havesome bloody respect, yeah.” 

“Not sorry,” Beth yelled back over hershoulder, “Meet you at the skate park.”

“Jesus,” Sarah ran a hand through her hair,“Sorry about her.”

“Totally fine,” Cosima smiled at Beth’sretreating form, “Though, like you didn’t know what you were doing all day withthe leaning and the touching.”

“I don’t remember doin’ that,” Sarahstarted walking again with a quick look over her shoulder to see if Cosima wasfollowing, “Probably like how you don’t remember that dream you had lastnight,” she smirked and Cosima felt her cheeks burn.

“I-I don’t,” Cosima stuttered, “Nope, justgone as soon as I woke up.”

“That right,” Sarah smirked, “That’s ashame, innit, because from what I heard it sounded pretty hot.”

“Yeah, definitely a shame,” Cosima gulpedas Sarah reached back to grab her hand, pulling her down an alley and throughthe short cut that would take them to the skate park. 

The simple touch of Sarah’s hand ignited afire across her skin and Cosima couldn’t stop herself from pulling the othergirl around so that their fronts were pressed against one another.

“You sure you don’t remember?” Sarah raisedan eyebrow and Cosima wasted no time in surging forward and crashing her lipsagainst the other teens in the hopes of kissing the cocky smirk off her face.

“It might be coming back to me,” Cosimamurmured against Sarah’s lips when she pulled back, “But you might need to kissme a little bit more just to be sure.”

“If you insist,” Sarah’s breath ghostedacross Cosima’s skin before the other girl captured them in her own, thedreadlocked teen not able to stop the satisfied groan as Sarah sucked on herbottom lip.

“Oh hello,” Felix’s voice caused them bothto jump apart minutes later, “We certainly are getting cosy, aren’t we,” theyounger boy’s eyes twinkled with glee.

“Shut up, Fe,” Sarah hid her face in thecrook of Cosima’s neck, shooting her middle finger up in her brother’s direction.

“No, no,” Felix waved a dramatic hand inthe air, “Don’t let me interrupt. Though I’m sure S would be very interested toknow why you were late picking me up.”

“Piss off,” Sarah groaned, “What’s it gonnatake then?”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Felixsaid after considering the two of them for a moment, “I want our American GeekMonkey here to teach me how to do that fabulous eyeliner she wears like agoddess.” 

[punkymonkeyfic]

The silence stretched on between them. Four women. Four sisters. Related not by blood but by science. A family nonetheless. 

Sarah’s admission hung heavy in the air, the suffocating nature of the silence pressing in on her from every side. Her vulnerabilities still threatening to pull her under after all this time. 

Say something. Say something. 

Her thoughts swirled in her head at a frantic pace. Did they agree? Did they see her the same way? These women who she had fought alongside, who she had lost so much for, was it possible they would always see her as the street rat she once was?

The familiar urge to run was sitting just under her skin. Like an itch waiting to be scratched. Maybe she should leave. She’d done it before. Maybe that would make it better. Make them better. They were happy, they deserved to be happy and she, she just didn’t know how. With her gone, wouldn’t that be easier for everyone?

A touch, soft and gentle on her hand stopped the cascading thoughts in her head. Cosima. She knew without even lifting her head that it was her dreadlocked sister. Cosima squeezed her wrist, firm and reassuring. 

You’re not alone. We are here. We’ll always be here.

Sarah tilted her head back against the seat, allowing a few tears to make tracks down her cheeks. Above her the sky was clear, the stars twinkling brightly in the  darkness. Cosima’s thumb traced a soothing pattern along the back of her hand and for the first time in a long time Sarah allowed herself to relax. She had three incredibly strong women by her side and she knew more were watching over them from above.

You can rest now, love. Rest and heal and be happy.

[punkymonkeyfic]

More of Sarah standing up for cosima in school pleaaassseee

Cosima wasn’t even sure if you could call them friends. They didn’t talk all that much (well Sarah didn’t anyway) but every day without fail Sarah would be waiting outside her classroom to walk her to her next period. Cosima wasn’t even sure how many of her own classes the British girl attended but her presence was something that the spectacled teen had come to rely on. She was less of a target with Sarah at her side and the other kids, who had once tormented her, seemed to leave her alone.

She realised she had become complacent one day when she stepped out of her first period English class to find Sarah missing. Her heart rate skyrocketed as she frantically looked around for the familiar black jacket and unruly hair. Cosima’s mind went into overdrive as she gripped tightly to her books. Was it something she did? Something she said? She knew she could be overwhelming and often babbled at the speed of light at the other girl as they walked to her next class. Maybe Sarah had got sick of it, sick of her. 

Biting her lip to stop it from trembling Cosima took a deep breath and headed into the foray of students who were rushing towards their next classes. If she kept her head down and moved quickly maybe they wouldn’t notice that she was alone. As luck would have it she tripped over her shoelace that had come loose just as she turned the corner, causing her to stumble and knock someone into the lockers that lined the hall.

“Fuck,” the blood in her veins turned to ice as she recognised the boy she had stumbled into, “Watch where you’re going, dipshit.”

As the boy turned his eyes widened gleefully when he realised who had run into him. He stood nearly half a foot taller than Cosima, his broad shoulders stretching out the seams of the football jersey he wore. He looked around as if searching for something, or someone, and his eyes glittered with malice once he realised she was on her own. 

“Guess your knight in two day old eyeliner isn’t here to save you today, huh Niehaus,” he said as a cruel smirk spread across his face, “I think maybe I might borrow these for a little while,” he pulled her glasses swiftly off her face and held them out of her reach.

“Come on, Brant,” she said quietly, though the fight was gone. Without Sarah she had no chance.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Brant teased, his fingers gripping tightly to her glasses. If he squeezed any tighter then they would snap.

“Please,” she begged him, “They’re my only pair.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that a little bit more before you ran into me, Geekhaus,” he sneered, his face falling as a knee was suddenly slammed into his groin. 

Cosima jumped back in surprise as the boy doubled over, her glasses slipping from his hand and clattering to the floor as he fell. Sarah stood with her arms crossed over her chest, scowling down at the writhing boy on the floor with a look of absolute disgust.

“Hey, arsehole. Why don’t you piss off and leave my friend alone, yeah,” Cosima’s heart soared at the British teen’s words. Sarah had called her her friend. She had a friend. 

“Sorry I’m late, Geek Monkey,” Sarah said, picking up Cosima’s glasses and slipping them gently back onto her face, “Got caught sneakin’ back in through the gym and had to talk my way outta detention.”

“Y-you’re here,” Cosima cursed herself for stammering.

“’Course I’m here,” Sarah slung a casual arm around Cosima’s shoulders and steered her back into the crowd, “Nowhere else I’d rather be, is there.”

“You don’t have to, like,  keep doing this, “Cosima ducked her head, “If you don’t want to.” Even as the words were coming out of her mouth she wished she could take them back. She didn’t want Sarah to stop showing up. 

“That’s what friends are for, innit,” Sarah shrugged, taking her arm off of Cosima’s shoulders as they reached her next class, “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

[punkymonkeyfic]

Cosima knew she should have expected it but she still woke in surprise when her bed dipped and another body joined hers under the covers. 

“How’d you get in?” she cleared her throat, her voice gravelly as she battled through the fog of sleep that threatened to pull her back under.

“I’m a hustler, ain’t I,” Sarah said softly, “Learned it from the best,” her voice caught on the last words, her breathing speeding up as she fought back the inevitable tears she had held at bay for so long.

“Sarah,” Cosima breathed. 

Her instinct was to reach out. She was tactile and communicated best through movement and touch, but Sarah often balked at physical contact and Cosima didn’t want to risk pushing her sister away when she clearly needed her comfort.

“’S my fault,” Sarah said, her suppressed sobs causing the whole bed to shake, “She would still be here if it weren’t for me.”

“Hey, hey, Sarah, you know that’s not true,” Cosima couldn’t stand it any longer and she turned on her side, her hands reaching up to cup her sister’s cheek, “If that were true then it would be my fault, Alison’s fault, Helena’s fault, Rachel’s fault. You did not do this.”

“But I was hers” Sarah cried, moisture leaking from her eyes and dripping onto Cosima’s hand, “She was only in this bloody mess because she took me in.”

“She loved you,” Cosima said, “She died to protect you. To protect Kira. To protect all of us. And I know S wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I miss her,” Sarah sobbed, her hand reaching up to latch onto Cosima’s wrist, holding her hand in place, “I keep seeing her, lyin’ there,” she broke off as she sobbed, “Alone. She died and we weren’t even there.”

Cosima couldn’t imagine it. The horror of finding your own mother shot dead in your living room. She knew that image would forever be burned in Sarah’s brain and that there was nothing she could do to take that pain away from her sister. 

“I’m sorry,” Cosima said as she curled her body the best she could around the other girl, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” she soothed as Sarah turned and buried her face in Cosima’s shoulder.

Sarah’s tears soon soaked through the material of Cosima’s shirt as she finally let out the pain she had desperately been fighting to keep inside. Cosima could do little more than hold her sister as she cried, knowing that in that moment there was nothing she could say that would ease the hurt of losing Siobhan. 

Eventually Sarah’s tears petered out as exhaustion and grief took their toll and she fell into an uneasy slumber. Cosima tightened her grip around her sleeping sister and dropped a kiss to the crown of her head. 

“I’ll keep watch for now,” she whispered into Sarah’s hair, “You just rest.”

[punkymonkeyfic]

Sarah finding Cosima in the camp's first aid room - extended?

“You understand why I have to do this, right?” Sarah could hear the desperation in Cosima’s voice, could feel the hand on her knee gripping tightly, willing her to agree but all she could feel was the pit of her stomach dropping out like she was coming over the crest of a hill and plummeting down the other side. 

“No,” her voice croaked, “No, you’re comin’ home with me. I came to get you.”

Ever since the call had dropped out, their creator’s betrayal revealed once again, her sole focus had been on finding Cosima and bringing her home safely. She had survived the horrors of this island with the knowledge that the other woman was there somewhere. Somewhere, Sarah had thought, that she needed rescuing from. Now Cosima was telling her that she wanted to stay and it was all her exhausted body could do to stay upright and hold the angry tears at bay.

“I have to do this,” Cosima pleaded, her hand coming up to cup Sarah’s cheek, “For us, for Kira. We still need answers, Sarah, and I’m our best bet at getting them.”

“Follow the science,” Sarah chuckled bitterly, her eyes closing as Cosima’s thumb ran gently across her cheek, “Follow the bloody science.”

“Because I’m the Geek Monkey, right,” Cosima laughed quietly, sitting up on her knees and resting her forehead against Sarah’s. 

This close Sarah could hear each breath Cosima took, could feel the heat of the other woman’s skin against her own. Her own breathing hitched at their proximity. If she leaned in a fraction closer their lips would touch. She hadn’t realised how desperately she wanted to kiss the other woman until right then. Until she was surrounded by Cosima, the dreadlocked clone’s hand still gripping her knee and seemingly the only thing anchoring her to reality. 

“I can’t do this without you, Cosima,” it wasn’t the first time she had spoken those words and Sarah meant them so desperately that her whole body shuddered at the thought of leaving the Scientist alone on the island.

“I’ll come back to you,” Cosima whispered, her words swallowed up as Sarah closed the distance between them and pressed her lips fervently against the other woman’s.

The kiss was a promise and said more than their words ever could. It gave them something to hang onto, a future to hope for and when they eventually pulled apart Sarah knew that Cosima was right. She had to stay on the island. To fight and learn from the inside while Sarah led the charge on the other end. 

A voice from outside startled them and Cosima ushered Sarah up off the chair with a frantic look over her shoulder in the direction the intrusion had come from. Sarah rested most of her weight against the other woman as she limped over to the side door, allowing herself this moment of comfort before they had to separated again.

“See you soon, yeah,” Sarah grabbed Cosima’s hand in her own uninjured one and pulled the other woman in close, their lips brushing against each other softly even as someone pounded on the door.

“Soon,” Cosima seemed to hang onto Sarah’s hand until the very last minute, giving it a squeeze before she reluctantly let go and shut the door, turning to face whoever was coming in from the other side of the structure. 

Sarah knew she wouldn’t feel whole until they were reunited but she could cling to the feeling of Cosima’s lips against her own until she was able to hold her in her arms once again. It was with that thought that she disappeared back into the depths of the forest in search of the boat that would take her home.

[punkymonkeyfic]

Orphan Black Wallpaper - SarahxCosima - Punk Rock Science - 1024x768

[punkymonkeyfic]

I don’t even know what this is.

Sarah doesn’t tell Helena everything. She tells her of the connection she felt with her daughter, the one Helena herself had spoken of early when the twins had first met. They talk about Helena’s babies, so like them, until Sarah’s sister’s eyelids droop and the British woman leaves with a promise to return and a kiss to the top of the blonde’s head.

Helena had touched her head and her heart reverently when Sarah had talked about connection. The Ukrainian woman had been certain that the connection stemmed from those places, binding family together in a way that Sarah herself still didn't understand. There was more though, she had felt more when she had been lying there on the cold ground, her blood seeping steadily between her fingers and her body begging for her to give up. 

A tug at her navel, an invisible wire that stretched across the island from deep inside her gut. A connection that screamed, Cosima. It pulled at something in her, so deeply rooted inside her body that their reunion felt inevitable. 

This connection was unlike anything she had ever felt before and yet she knew it was Cosima. Cosima, willing her to get up, to find her, to live. 

Sarah can still feel it now. A tugging at her navel that draws her to her clone, her whole body thrumming the longer they are apart. They each have their part to play, this she knows, but this connection speaks of something that Sarah isn’t sure she understands. 

Trust your gut. 

She trusts Cosima, trusts her clone knows what she’s doing but that still doesn’t stop her from gasping when a spike of fear shoots through her body. The fear is not her own and she can’t stop the pounding of her heart when she imagines what has happened to cause Cosima to react this way. With a deep breath she tries to remain calm, hoping that her own emotions would soothe her clone’s fear. 

Patience was not a virtue and time was not a gift. She needed Cosima and needed her now. 

Trust your gut, Sarah. 

She can almost hear Cosima’s voice whispering those words in her ear. She had to trust their connection would bring them together again. 

[punkymonkeyfic]

Orphan Black Wallpaper - SarahXCosima

[punkymonkeyfic]

Orphan Black - Season 5 Episode 1 - Sarah+Cosima - Wallpaper (1024x768)

[punkymonkeyfic]

Cosima sighed as she wiped the damp cloth across Sarah’s sweaty brow. Her girlfriend looked up at her through glassy eyes as she reached up and twirled one of Cosima’s dreadlocks around her finger.

“Hey,” she smiled dopily, “You’re pretty.”

“I wish you’d let me take you to the hospital wing,” Cosima sighed in response, a worried frown appearing between her brows, “Madam Pomfrey would fix your fever in no time.”

“No,” Sarah pouted, “M’not goin’.”

“You should listen to your girlfriend,” Beth called over from her four poster bed on the other side of the dorm, “Your coughing kept the rest of us up all night.”

Technically Ravenclaws weren’t allowed in the Gryffindor dormitory but Sarah’s fellow fifth years had decided to turn a blind eye. Most of them liked Cosima and they thought the Ravenclaw would be able to talk some sense into her sick girlfriend. 

“Shut up, Childs,” Sarah groaned half heartedly, turning so her head was buried in Cosima’s stomach, “M’fine.”

“You’re burning up, Sar,” Cosima chided as she ran a hand through Sarah’s sweaty hair, “At least let me send Beth up to get your some of Madam Pomfrey’s Fever Draught.”

“Oi! Beth never said she’d be doing anything,” Beth crossed her arms across her chest.

“Beth will if she, like, doesn’t want me to tell Alison how unhelpful she’s being,” Cosima challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“Low blow, Niehaus,” Beth grumbled, hopping off her bed and pulling on her shoes, “One Fever Draught coming up.”

Once Beth was gone Cosima attempted to run the damp cloth over Sarah’s neck but the restless teen batted her hands away and curled her body even closer into Cosima’s.

“You’re okay,” Cosima murmured, “Just, maybe won't be, like, playing anymore secret Quidditch games in the pouring rain.”

“Had to beat Rachel,” Sarah slurred, her eyes falling shut as Cosima ran her fingers gently up and down her back, “Bitch.”

Cosima giggled softly, “Not even a raging fever can dampen that rivalry then, huh.”

“M’tired,” Sarah murmured suddenly, her arm falling heavily across Cosima’s waist.

“No, no, don’t go to sleep just yet,” Cosima struggled to sit up, “We need to get some of the Fever Draught in you first.”

“Too late,” Sarah’s voice trailed off as she drifted into sleep.

“Damnit, Sarah,” Cosima muttered but she couldn’t stop looking down at the slumbering girl affectionately as she let out a congested snore, “Too stubborn for your own good.”

“You two make me sick,” Beth groaned a little later when she returned with the Fever Draught and found the two of them entwined on Sarah's bed. 

“You’re just jealous,” Cosima smirked, dropping a kiss to a still sleeping Sarah’s forehead, “It’s not our fault you can’t get your shit together and ask Alison out already.”

“Fuck off,” Beth said, though her grin let Cosima know she was only joking, “I’ve got the Fever Draught for Snorlax there,” she nodded her head in Sarah’s direction, “Look after her, Cos,” she said softly as she handed it over. 

“Always.”

[punkymonkeyfic]

Her sister’s voice echoed throughout the room and instantly the throbbing in her thigh ebbed away until all she could focus on was Cosima. Cosima, who was telling her that she (Rachel, but she would deal with the maelstrom of emotions that bought up later) had finally administered her cure. There was a hopefulness to her sister’s tone that chased away the darkness that was threatening to take her over at finding herself captured and made prisoner by DYAD once again.

This miracle cure that at one time had seemed an impossible task could mean that Cosima could go on to live a full and happy life. It opened up a future for her sister that she had, at one stage, never thought she would ever see. At her darkest, when she let tears escape between clenched eyelids, she had imagined a life without Cosima and it had felt so much like giving up that more tears carved their way down her cheeks until she was biting her pillow in an attempt to muffle her sobs. 

Anger quickly replaced any relief she had felt when Cosima’s voice suddenly cut out and her image disappeared from the floor to ceiling screen. Just when it felt like they were finally getting one step ahead someone had to step in to remind them exactly who was in control. 

They were better, stronger, together. She hadn’t always believed that but there was nothing she believed in more in that moment. She would find a way out. Back to her sisters, her family. 

Back to Cosima.

[punkymonkeyfic]

Rachel’s hands on her skin felt wrong and not for the first time in the last few minutes Cosima wished she hadn’t sent Sarah away. The needle in Rachel’s hands looked sinister and not like the cure her body so desperately needed. She whimpered as the needle pierced her skin, closing her eyes against the disappointed look that flashed across Rachel’s face at her show of weakness.  With her eyes closed it was easier to pretend it was Sarah here, that it was Sarah’s voice whispering words of comfort in her ear.

Ssssh. You’re a’ight. I’ve got you.

Cosima felt a tear escape the corner of her closed eyes and turned her head to try and hide it from the corporate clone. God, she felt so alone. She couldn’t even celebrate that she was finally going to be free of the disease which had plagued her body and threatened her very existence.

A soft hand squeezed hers and again it felt wrong. Rachel’s hands were smooth, a lifetime of sitting behind a desk leaving them bare of the callouses that she had felt on Sarah’s. 

“It is done,” the British accent was all wrong and not the one she fiercely wanted to hear.

Then she was alone in the room, her body curling in on itself as tears began to drip steadily onto her cheeks.

“Sarah,” she wept, biting hard on her lip to try and stifle her cries and draw attention to herself.

What had she done?

[punkymonkeyfic]

Sarah wakes up to cosima tracing her fingers along her scars.

The feeling of fingertips ghosting against the skin of her back were so gentle that for a second her sleep addled brain thought she was dreaming. She was quickly fading back into unconsciousness when those same fingertips touched a particularly sensitive spot in the small of her back and she shivered.

“I know you’re awake,” Cosima’s chuckled, her touch pressing more assuredly against Sarah’s skin now she knew her girlfriend was awake.

Sarah shifted slightly under her girlfriend’s touch only now realising that Cosima was tracing the multitude of scars that were painted across the skin of her back like patchwork. She felt herself shy away from the touch, suddenly self conscious of the reminders of a past that would haunt her forever.

“You’re beautiful,” the words whispered against her skin soothed like a balm as soft lips pressed gently against each scar erasing the pain of wounds long since healed.