Foreword: Kai Walters here for Pure Class Wrestling, having been granted very rare, and very exclusive rights to interview former International Champion Whitey Ford! With Hostile Takeover 4 just days away, the changeable but utterly unforgettable former superstar agreed to meet with me on the following video call that's been uploaded for your viewing.
The call opens to show Walters and Ford side by side in separate image windows. Ford looks uncharacteristically lucid, while the newly hired PR looks eager to begin. Kai breaks the silence first, her pleasant alto opening the interview without further adieu.
"So, Mr. Ford, it's no secret that the suspension of your contract with Pure Class Wrestling was owing to your very public arrest on the night of Trauma 140. We later received notification that you'd been found 'Not Guilty' in your trial...is there any light you can shed on the interim events?"
"No, actually. There are crimes of passion, crimes of rage, crimes of...well, righteousness. The crimes that one commits to correct a wrong and to make someone pay for slights against another's character and mental well being. I did none of those, because I did not commit a crime. The fucking evidence...wait, "EVIDENCE" against me was circumstantial and far fetched..." Ford pauses for a moment, taking a sip off his glass before giving an over-confident smile. "You know what? Next question. Anything else I have to say and somehow I'll be accused of killing Elvis with the gun that shot Lincoln."
"We can't have that, can we? The next question I have is about you, personally. What can we expect from Whitey Ford moving into the year 2014?"
"I spent a few months in Androscoggin jail, and being the asshole that I am, I somehow pissed off the people who make it possible to smuggle booze into jail. With that being said, I was forced to spend a few weeks in terrible, TERRIBLE fucking pain...but that was followed by weeks of clarity. Let me be clear, I am not sober after my stint behind bars; but I have a better understanding of how causing trouble works, I guess you could say. Given the recent changes in PCW management, I suppose you could expect to see a lot more of me. Whether that's with or without Pure Class Wrestling, only time will tell."
"Well that neatly clears up my next question, as to your potential involvement in Pure Class Wrestling in the future - I guess we'll all just have to wait and see. You hold the current record for number of consecutive successful defenses of PCW's International Championship Belt. You had to have seen what's been going on with the title over the last few months, beginning with Gabriel Cross' loss, followed by Ace Anderson's loss, followed still by MONROE leaving the company. Do you have any comments on that?"
"Cross was a failure from the get-go; a true competitor but he didn't have a knack for wrestling OR fighting. Something about him made me think he was fighting for acceptance...as if he just wanted people to think of him as a contender at the most, rather than a champion. Ace Anderson...Monroe...you know what? Both of them were true champions. They never beat ME for the belt, but I have the utmost respect for both of them. Sure, I fucking hate Monroe and one day he's going to come back just for my sole satisfaction of proving once and for all I'm the better man. Ace, on the other hand...he pushed me to my limits like nobody else could. Unfortunately, he's not around anymore for me to show how much of a changed man I am...and if you're wondering if the longest reigning International Champion could possible change for the better, then the answer is an absolute yes. I am without a doubt better than Ace Anderson, moreso than before. I dropped the title to him, or I wanted to, because he was second best to begin with...I had just yet to prove it. The Untouchables fucked that all up, and for reasons I'm still not sure why."
"The upcoming match at Hostile Takeover 4 puts four men up against each other in a double ladder match, the first of its kind in archived PCW history. Care to take a guess at who might take your former belt home?"
"Showtime is in the match, and I think he's the smartest competitor there. But...well, it's a loaded card. Grimm may still have it, Murdoc could be a threat, and Tyler Scott just might do something fuckin' remarkable. Who knows? I'm not there. If I WERE there, however, it'd be no contest. Sorry, Mikey, but I'd be walking out with my old International Title without a doubt. I'm Whitey fucking Ford. I've defeated legends, giants, insane asylum hall of fame nominees, delusional tag team partners...and GRIMM. Let's just go ahead and say that whoever wins that title might as well be called the "Interim International Champion." Nobody will live up to my legacy."
"Those are brash words, but that seems to be just as much your legacy as your as-yet undisputed record as the International Champ. Speaking of brash, there are those in the past who have taken issue with your tactics. How would you respond to someone who would question your sportsmanship?"
"Nice guys finish last, I suppose, in their cases. Whiny little fucks complaining that they couldn't beat me. Whe--IF I return to the ring, my first declaration is to make sure they all know what they're dealing with, once and for all. That's so fucked up! Have you watched UFC lately? It's a sport about brutally punching someone over and over in the face until they can't move or they give up or a referee stops the fight because they're in danger. But before and after the fight, those animals are expected to act CIVIL. It sportsmanship, right? I'll tell you what, I'm not a fucking animal, and a sentient creature with a tacticians mind, and if you can't handle your feelgood bone being bruised during a fucking fistfight because the other man threw sand in your eyes, then you should stick to playing video games...y'know, fuckit, here we go. If anyone who feels like I've slighted them in the least by not being a 'good sport' while beating their head in, I'll do it again and I'll follow PCW sanctioned rules to a T. I can say it until I'm blue in the face, but none of my past opponents know what I've become. I'll have to prove it with broken bones."
"A complete - if potentially intimidating - answer to any who might have been wondering if you've been softened up over the past several months. If you returned to Pure Class Wrestling, what might your goals be? Would you want your International title back, or would you have your eyes on a bigger prize?"
"If I were to return...hell, you know, I'd probably just be GIVEN the International Title. It'd only make sense, right? Unfortunately, my new mindset regarding fighting as a profession would only make it inevitable that I'd be thrown in the World Title contention."
"The World Title itself has seen a lot of activity and changing of hands lately - do you have any thoughts on the matter?"
"Amateurs who are no better than each other, passing around a title that has no meaning anymore. A World Champion, a TRUE champion, needs to be dominant. Andy D can barely handle his anti-depressants, let alone being a true champion."
"Meaning is one thing that needs to be brought back to the Pure Class Wrestling title brackets, I think almost anyone would be in agreement with you there. Before we close this up, I'd like to ask one final question."
"Yeah?"
"What do you, Whitey Ford, personally feel about the reorganization of Pure Class Wrestling?"
Whitey smiles, not masking the glimmer of a secret in his eyes. "I think The President is going to do a god damned dandy job of making Pure Class Wrestling bigger and better than it's ever been."
"Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Ford."
"Go fuck yourself and stop calling me."
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