It Does My Heart Good: Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 || Chapter 15
Jamie almost doubled over, breathing heavily, beaming with joy as his six-year-old son pedaled down the road on his bike, wobbling just a bit.
“No training wheels, Da!” Rab shouted, almost not believing it himself.
Jamie took deep, heaving breaths. “Claire!” he croaked. “Where are ye?”
Claire poked her head out of an upstairs window, peering down at her husband and son in the street. “What? Everybody all right?”
“Mama, look!” Just then Rab pedaled back to the house.
“Oh, lovie!” Quickly she darted inside, raced down the stairs, and flew out of the door, almost colliding with Jamie who still clutched to the mailbox to hold himself steady.
Rab absolutely glowed, smiling ear to ear as he pedaled back and forth in front of his parents. “Look, Mama and Da!”
Slowly, carefully, Jamie pulled his phone from his front shirt pocket to take a video of Rab racing up and down the street, giddy with joy.
“Has he fallen yet?” Claire asked, trying to not sound worried.
Jamie shrugged. “He’s a boy. It happens.”
“That’s not exactly comforting - ”
“Have ye had a message from Bree today?” he interrupted uncharacteristically.
Her brow furrowed. “No. Why?”
Jamie held out his phone so that his wife could see the screen. It was a text from Brianna, sent about half an hour previous: I need to see you and Claire tonight. We’re fine. I’ll explain later.
Silently Claire counted to five before responding. “Well I’m worried.”
Jamie watched as Rab ground the bike to a halt at the end of the road, stood up, caught his breath for a bit.
“I hope it isnae the bairn. She’d tell us, aye?”
Brianna and her husband Roger were expecting their first child - Jamie and Claire and John and Isobel’s first grandchild. It had been a surprise - Brianna had become pregnant only about three months after her wedding and six months after starting her new job, and although the two of them were young and early in their respective careers, they loved and cared for each other. And they could provide for a baby - a baby that clearly they both wanted.
Claire nodded. “She would. Same if it was some kind of problem with Roger. I know it’s been stressful, and that they’re still trying to plan for what they’ll do when she goes back to work.”
Jamie tucked his phone back into his pocket and wrapped an arm around Claire’s shoulder. “The puir child has four grandparents to care for it, not to mention two decrepit great-uncles who have gladly said they’ll be full-time carers.” That was true - Lamb and his partner Fez had told Brianna as much during the dinner they’d organized to celebrate her pregnancy. With Lamb retired and Fez on sabbatical for the next year - and with Isobel Grey only working part time, and with Jamie himself fully in control of his schedule at the bookstore, this child had an entire network of people to ensure his or her comfort and care.
“I can’t help but worry.” Claire sighed.
Jamie squeezed her shoulder. “You’re her Mam. It’s your job to worry.”
Rab raced his bike down the road again, whizzing past them, hitting a rock, and wiping out in spectacular fashion.
“Thankfully he’s wearing his jeans today,” Claire muttered before racing over to her son, too drunk with joy to feel any pain.
“That’s a huge scrape you’ve got there,” Brianna politely observed as her brother showed off his skinned knees.
“Yeah. And I was even wearing pants! Mama said it was a good thing I didn’t wipe out in the dirt.”
Bree smiled, rubbing her six-month-pregnant belly. “That’s certainly true.”
“How old were ye when ye learned to ride a bike?” Jamie spooned up the last of the peas Claire had made to go with the roast chicken and mashed potatos she and Bree had cooked for dinner.
Brianna frowned, thinking. “I think I was about seven. It was the summertime, I remember that. I was wearing shorts, and my legs were covered in bruises and my arms were covered in mosquito bites.”
Rab wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”
She laughed. “You don’t need to tell me that.”
Jamie swallowed his last bite and stood, pushing his chair away from the table. “All right, wee Rab. Help me clear the dishes. Bree - you and Claire can sit in the living room if ye like?”
Carefully Bree stood, stretching. “Sounds like a great idea.”
Claire stood too, and took Bree’s hand. Bree squeezed it, and together they retreated to the soft chairs in the room off of the dining room.
For a while they sat next to each other on the couch, not speaking, listening to the low hum of Jamie’s voice speaking quietly to Rab and the clink of dishes and silverware as they washed and dried. Claire wanted Bree to make the first move, but soon enough Bree spoke.
“I had a realization this morning. Well, two, really. And I wanted to talk to you about it.”
Brianna looked down at her lap as she spoke. “The first is...I almost feel terrible for saying this, but I’m glad not just that you’re a doctor, but that you’re my mother, and I can talk to you about being pregnant and all of the weird things about it, because I can’t talk to my Mom about it.”
“Because she was never pregnant,” Claire said softly.
Bree nodded. “I feel terrible even thinking that - she’s the greatest Mom, and she’s known me all of my life, but -”
“But it helps to talk to someone who has experienced it firsthand. I understand.”
“I remember when you were pregnant with Rab - I remember asking you all about it, and learning about it. Because I’d never had that growing up. But it’s all so different now.” She paused. “I feel terrible even saying that about my Mom.”
Gently Claire rubbed the back of her daughter’s hand. “Don’t feel bad. I think she’d understand. And I’m so glad that I can help you, Bree. That this is another thing we can share.”
Bree swallowed, still not looking up at her. Claire felt her daughter’s hands shake with emotion.
“Are you all right, honey? Is everything all right with Roger?”
Bree let out a breath. “Oh, Claire, he’s so wonderful. He takes such good care of me. He’s a goofball and it’s really, really endearing.”
“I’m so glad you have that love in your life. Having a child with the man you love - it’s an incredible experience.”
Inexplicably Bree began to sob. Working from an instinct she couldn’t even begin to name, Claire leaned in to hold her daughter close. Comforting her, sheltering her as she cried and cried and cried.
“What’s wrong?” she crooned softly. “You can tell me anything, lovie.”
Brianna hugged Claire even tighter. “The other thing I realized today,” she whispered, “is that I can’t even begin to imagine my life without this baby in it. And then I realized that that’s exactly what you had to do, with me.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Claire rubbed her back soothingly. “That was different. I was unmarried and alone.”
“But still - I feel such a bond with him already, and I can’t imagine disrupting that. For most of the time before I was born, you knew me - and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to keep me.”
“Yes. But I made that choice. Jamie and I made that choice together, because it was the best choice we could make for you.”
“I can’t even imagine making that choice.” Bree took a deep, shaky breath. “And it really, really hit me today. I feel like I finally understand. And I want you to know...” Now she pulled back to look at Claire, wiping away the tears still streaming down her cheeks. “I want you to know that I love you so much more for what you did for me. Because I don’t know if I’d ever have the strength to do that.”
Tears welled in Claire’s own eyes. “Jamie said something to me, before we left each other in Glasgow, during those few precious weeks we had together when we knew you were coming and before I came back to Boston. He said - love forces a person to choose. You do things you never imagined you could do before.”
Bree smiled tearfully. “He’s right.”
Claire wiped away her tears, and cradled her cheek. “Of course he is. I kept saying that to myself over and over and over before you were born, and after you were born, and after I’d moved to North Carolina.”
“I’m sorry if I scared you earlier today when I texted Jamie. I just - ”
“I know, sweetie. I know.”
Just then Rab darted into the room, oblivious to his sister’s tears. “Ice cream for dessert?”
Bree sniffed and looked at her watch. “Roger should be here in fifteen minutes or so. Mind if we wait until then?”
Rab careened out of the room, intent on setting another place at the dining room table.
“Had I not made an adoption plan for you, Bree - I never would have had Rab.”
Bree turned to her mother, incredulous. “Oh my God. You’re right.”
Claire smiled tightly. “So. Everything is worthwhile. You never know the happiness that will come from the sadness.”
Bree squeezed her hands. “My life has become so much happier with you and Jamie in it. And Rab, too.”
Claire’s heart soared. “Oh, lovie. Ours too. Ours too.”
