Blog
Popular blogs are about love, fashion or food that the person writing is passionate about.
If I had to have a blog to write in, it would consistently be about themes like:
“Growing up a major failure”
“Abusive household memories”
“Christmas-fights”
“How to be sad when everything goes well”
“Never heard even if I’m speaking”
“Oppressed and upset”
“Nobody cares”
And that’s just what I feel most of the time. Nobody ever listens. Today is Christmas morning. I wake up to my father screaming at my mother’s face covered in tears. I tried for years to fix the situation with everything that came to my mind. Nothing helps because they aren’t listening in the first place. I am alone, always was and always will be. Even on Christmas, surrounded by my family.
I’m officially feliz navi-done with this shit. I can’t take it anymore but what can I do? Nothing. So I suffer in silence until I’m done with this world and leave in peace. Everything is heavy and my back hurts from carrying the weight of what seems to be a fraction of the worlds problems.
Nothing I ever do is good enough. Should I stop doing something and save some energy for myself? The thing is: it’s not that easy quitting a habit you’ve had for your whole life. I take it personally. But nothing changes because no one cares. And yet I’m still alone with this opinion.
Still I care. I care every day, every minute, every second. But that doesn’t matter because I have to do adult things and go to work/school. That’s what normal people do. I am not normal because I am broken inside. How should I do life??? I am too little for a problem as big as that.
But I won’t change either. I will care while others don’t and pour my heart into things that then get ignored. I will try until I die.
Now, tell me, is that a bad or a good thing?
