So we were cowards, so we were liars / So we're not heroes, we're still survivors / The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired / But dive in the fire, and I'll be right here by your side
Welcome to our blog! This blog has been around for at least 6 years now? Wow, has time flown! A lot has changed over the years.
We are Gadreel and Samael, the "cores" of this body and owners of this blog. Over the years our system/collective has grown to include much more than just the two of us, but we don't talk much about our system/divine experiences publicly anymore for personal reasons. Suffice it to say that we are just a tired, loving blob of soulmates whose purpose in life is to work through our past lives' trauma, reconnect with loved ones, and forge a better path forward. Hopefully while also surviving the fascist hellscape in which we now reside.
please note: this is not a roleplay blog. we are plural, please be respectful.
═════ your lies undone ═════
Name: Gadreel, Gad if you're close
Pronouns: dae/daem, they/them
About: Originally the sole host of this system(or so we thought), Gadreel has been through quite a bit since awakening! Dae are the center of our galaxy, our Sunburst Monarch. The original Scapegoat.
Tags: #gadreel
Name: Samael, Sam if you're close
Pronouns: he/him, it/its
About: Gentleman Death and Calamity-Bound. Intertwined with Gadreel in every way that matters. He is the worst of us, he is the best of us. The Prodigal Son.
Tags: #samael
For more information about us and this blog, please click the readmore below!
(updated as of 12/27/25)
═════ when is a monster not a monster? ═════
ABOUT THIS BLOG:
Despite no longer going into any depth publicly about our experiences, we still hold a lot of love for this blog and use it frequently. You will mostly find aesthetic posts, poetry, art, and information that we find worth sharing about present-day events. The majority of us (if not all) are fallen and/or infernal in nature, and we used to be rather tormented about our status as fallen. This is no longer the case. We have since reconciled with our "other side" and are working to move forward, and have made peace with who we have become since our descent.
We've been through quite a bit, in this community and out of it, and are open to reconnecting with those we've fallen out of touch with in the past. That being said, we are no longer seeking "canonmates." We have found that those we share soul ties with will inevitably find us when the time is right.
═════ oh, when you love it. oh, when you used to sing it to sleep ═════
TAGGING:
We used to tag pretty meticulously, but we don't as much anymore. These days, we tend to tag with just the name of who a certain post reminded us of/is meant for, but whether it's an entity within our system, in our partner system, one of our close friends, someone we used to know, isn't specified. This is intentional.
We do NOT tag on request. Everyone's triggers are worth respecting, but not every space out there is going to be a perfectly curated safe space, and it is your responsibility to manage your triggers. Not a stranger on the internet. It's just not something we have the energy to do on a personal bog.
═════ here are your upturned hands; give them to him ═════
ASKS:
We have anon turned off due to some harassment we received in the past, and have no intentions of turning anon back on. That being said, we do still answer asks and they are more than welcome! If you want an ask to be posted anonymously, you are more than welcome to specify such when you send it in.
═════ and watch how he prays like he is learning his first words ═════
MUTUALS:
If we're mutuals you are absolutely allowed (and encouraged) to interact with this blog, as well as reach out to us for other ways to connect! We love seeing you pop up in our notifications. <3 We plan to start offering weekly mutual sketches, and are going to add a link to the tag here once we actually do that.
═════ when is a monster not a monster? ═════
DNI:
♢ minors
♢ truscum, transmeds, TERFS
♢ nazis, trump supporters, zionists, pro-israel bootlickers
♢ folks who think that the word "kinnie" is a slur
♢ folks who think that kinning for fun is less valid than spiritual or psychological kin
♢ any kind of exclusionist (only x can use y pronouns, only y can call themselves x, etc)
♢ anti-shippers (anyone who thinks it's okay to harass someone based on what they like in fiction)
♢ monothiests
♢ anyone who is still friends with our ex (iykyk)
═════ oh, when you are the reason it has become so mangled ═════
Obviously, we can't effectively police who interacts with this blog but if you fall into any of the above categories you're not going to like some of the things that we post anyway so you might as well just do us both a favor, right? We may end up blocking someone who doesn't fit under the above list, and please know that it's not personal, it's just us curating our own experience online.
We may occasionally come back and edit this post, which will be notated above the readmore.
it's okay to have thoughts that run counter to your values, and it's okay to have them in their entirety. let them run their course in private, in your head, in a diary, with a friend who understands this doesn't align with your core beliefs and is ready to talk through it with you.
it's not going to corrupt you. it's not going to somehow be psychically transmitted to the world at large. give yourself space to recognize that these are, in fact, your genuine thoughts and feelings, no matter how intensely uncomfortable that feels. recognize that you can let them be the dominant attitude in your mind for a few minutes without it affecting your behavior or compromising your integrity.
once you've gotten all of it out and seen the train of thought in its entirety, you can take a breath and step back to examine it from a distance. you can respond to it the way you would to a child who doesn't know better, non-judgmentally, trusting yourself to stay true to your pre-established values. and having processed it this way, you can feel closer to those values instead of feeling that tension between what you believe and the thoughts you refuse to acknowledge because they don't align with it.
"but it's bad to give any credence to harmful ideologies in the public discourse!" good thing this isn't the public discourse then.
"but prejudiced people aren't entitled to my empathy and education!" they are when they're you. it's non-negotiable that you have to live with you, therefore you are necessarily entitled to your own compassion.
"what would people think if they knew?" you don't have to tell anyone shit. your thoughts can be completely your own, and some of them should stay that way, but that doesn't mean they're evil to have, even if you hate the idea of acting on them. good news, you have free will and you don't have to act on them.
it's okay--good and healthy, in fact--to have pieces of yourself you wouldn't share online. no one can (or should have to) be 100% marketable and palatable inside and out 24/7. thoughts have no moral component. however, when pieces of our internal life are misaligned, it causes discomfort, and we can't address that discomfort if we don't acknowledge and examine it without judgment.
unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if you’re in a bubble with no sensation, if you’re numbing yourself out, that’s not what recovering really is. it won’t help you have a happier life it’ll just make your world smaller and smaller until you can’t fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, that’s the only way to keep going
actually i am gonna give you guys a genuine answer to that. not the anon because they obviously don't actually care, but the rest of the new followers i seem to have picked up off that youth lib post.
why do i give a shit about social media restrictions? well, i went to the library three months ago with my two teenage brothers to sign them up for new library cards (they just moved) and i was told that under 18s can't have a library card, even a restricted kids-books-only card, without a parent there in person to give consent.
that's fucked for abused kids for sure but that's also fucked for kids whose single mum works two jobs and can't get to the library while its open. and there is NO good reason for it except to appease parents who want to control what their kids can read.
people coming onto my posts telling me 'kids should just do X' have not actually looked into the possibility of doing what they are suggesting. kids now cannot do what you did when you were a teenager even a decade ago. abused kids, disabled kids or kids from low income families ESPECIALLY cannot do those things. they are running out of places to go.
interviews and studies with teenagers repeatedly prove that they WANT to hang out with their friends in real life, and it is getting harder and harder to do it. the internet is one of the only places they can all spend time together, unsupervised, without spending money or getting hassled or moved on by adults.
social media bans won't fix that. they won't even keep kids off social media. they're just going to make life harder for everyone, increase the amount of tracking and monitoring EVERYONE is subject to, and force kids to lie about what they're doing to any adults that actually DO give a shit about them.
protestants: god is not an absent father! talk to god like a friend! god is always with you! bring your problems to god, no matter how small! it’s not at all weird to call god “daddy!”
catholics: god is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys or your algebra exam. please address your petty concerns to one of god’s ten thousand holy secretaries. if it’s really important, consider asking his mom.
