bugsy malone

[qofsaigon]

secure people never purposefully make you feel insecure

[qofsaigon]

realise when others are defensive, argumentative or rude, they're just protecting themselves... try and hold space for that part of people that is incredibly tender and hurt. they're only trying to feel better

[qofsaigon]

I had crossed plenty off my list of unfinished business and let go of many items, such as most of my books and one of my guitars. I was ruthless. 

I knew, without knowing where I was going, that I wouldn’t need this stuff when I got there. 

- Paris Letters (Janice MacLeod)

[qofsaigon]

After feeling the weight of bag after bag heading out of my apartment, I wondered why I had bought all of these clothes. Did I buy them to bring me happiness? Did they? Not really, no. In fact, they got in the way of what I was looking for.

- Paris Letters (Janice MacLeod)

[qofsaigon]

I had made it.  Making it happened after a series of awards, promotions, and bumps in pay. Once you really made it, you were middle management. And if you were middle management, you had to go to the 9:00 a.m. daily status meetings. The status meeting was filled with projects managers, studio managers, and creative managers who had also made it.

Head mistress led the status meeting. She was like a bossy babysitter. She was on task. She was on time. She was professional. I bet if she could do anything in her free time, she would go grocery shopping or organize things or boss other people around. 

I was a copywriter, but officially I was an Associate Creative Director. This title meant I was qualified to sit in this daily status meeting so project managers could boss me around. Because I had made it. 

- Paris Letters (Janice MacLeod)

[qofsaigon]

An email. “Subject: Main Conference Room in two minutes. Don’t be late!”

The big emergency was a surprise office birthday party for whatshisname. Always awkward. Always necessary. These office birthday parties reminded me of other dumb moments in corporate daily life, such as saying “hump day” when it’s Wednesday, and “one more day” when it’s Thursday. We ask the same dumb questions: “How was your weekend? on Mondays and “Got big plans for the weekend?” on Fridays. We send a card around the agency with an envelope for you to throw in your extra bucks for the birthday/wedding/baby shower/going away gift. 

When would it end? Every time I slipped a couple of bucks in an envelope, wrote a pithy comment in a card, or sat through a sad rendition of “Happy Birthday”, I couldn’t help but sigh inwardly and think, This is not my life.

- Paris Letters (Janice MacLeod)

[qofsaigon]

when you’re in a such a peaceful state, barely anything phases you. i see agitated people and still find it beautiful.

[qofsaigon]

what's up with me and broody men

[qofsaigon]

it can be something small like throwing out all the stuff you don’t need anymore, standing in front of the dumpster and throwing away your trash with full awareness of the symbolic meaning of this event - you are making room for new experiences, you are ending an old way of living or a former phase in your life

- marina kuhn 

[qofsaigon]

do you ever have the urge to stay silent? there are times where i don’t want to talk, i don’t want to say anything. i don’t want to vocalize anything. i don’t feel like talking at all.

i don’t want to have to force myself to babble about nothing. there’s nothing to say, in the most completely neutral way. there’s nothing wrong, i’m un-bothered.

[qofsaigon]

There's a feeling I feel, it's a comforting feeling, yet to others it isn't. It's melancholic, yet I feel completely content feeling it. I notice growing up that I would like feeling that feeling, especially with others, yet I can recall countless amounts of times that feeling was un-mirrored. There'd always be a questioning from others as to why I had gone all sad. I love basking in honesty, even if - especially if, I'm feeling melancholy. I love when others bask and intertwine that feeling with me, where it is okay - there's nothing wrong. We sit in comfortable silence and understand each other without words. In a world where positive emotion is prized above all else, I yearn for presence during times of duress. Presence during all moments, regardless of whether they are joyous or not.  

[qofsaigon]

it always baffles me how some couples start touching each other when you start walking by, almost as if they’re confirming their claim on their partnership. honestly wyd? it’s weird seeing couples become so insecure by the presence of passerby's. do they not trust one another? why are you two together?

[qofsaigon]

Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what she thinks into it.

[qofsaigon]

do you realize that you are free? when walking outside, midst thousands of people, realize that you are free. you have every right to walk, like you are free, because you are free. regardless of societal pressures and being completely engulfed with concerns about how you appear to others and what they think of you, you are free. the lie is that you are not free. these pressures to fit in are a lie. the voices inside your head tell you that you that you are bound, you are stiff and you cannot move are a lie. that you cannot do what you wish. yet you can. if you felt like dancing in the middle of the street, you could. you’d just have to let yourself do it. you are free to and you’re the only one stopping you. let yourself go and flow, you are free.

[qofsaigon]

just a simple act can cause so much of a difference

[qofsaigon]

the great thing about this life is that you can be someone different to everybody

[qofsaigon]

eye contact is either rewarding or not. it really depends on who you’re making eye contact with. if you’re with someone who isn’t used to it, there’s a disconnect, a misunderstanding. you’re considered creepy or weird. however when you find someone who isn’t afraid of intimacy or being seen, it’s the most amazing thing in the world. you both have an openness to look into each other instead of at each other. there’s an instantaneous connection, without words.