[ THANK YOU, OLD FRIEND. ]
╚ You talk too much, yet say so little. Pretty black bird plucking your own feathers, doesn’t your tongue get tired from spitting your venom into your own wounds? Don’t your teeth get tired from your rotten feast? Doesn’t your heart get tired from drawing blood, from begging for sinful reprieve, crying for callous coronation, digging the grave deeper and deeper and deeper? Don’t you get tired at all, pretty black bird? When will you stop, when will you be satisfied? Perhaps when all your feathers are laying in a useless mound beneath your talons only then will you realize the torn up flesh is just that, it’s just you, it’s just flesh. It’s. Just. You.
╚ And you’re not fooling anyone.
╚ His tongue clicks. Just stares. Stares and stares and stares. Blood. Tracing from his shaking hands to the crook of his neck to the eyes that haven’t met his in what could be eons. Pressure. They don’t look at each other. They don’t have to. James knows that Qrow knows that James knows he’s full of shit.
╚ Darkness. Gods its dark, its smothering, it’s hot it’s heavy it’s rancid. It’s nice that at a certain point the body goes numb from pain in an attempt to save the mind its madness. Couldn’t go to that place, shouldn’t. Shut up. Address Qrow. Don’t let it under your skin, don’t let it under your skin, don’t let it under your skin. Don’t panic, please.
❝No no, Qrow, please do c-continue. If now is when you decide to be open and honest with me, then I’d like to lay down all our cards on the table. I guess we need this. Last time, the time before that, and every goddamn time before that didn’t go so well. Because you have a bad habit of going dark whenever it suits you.❞ ╝
╚ He breathes. Pushes it down. The bile. The bitter taste of sweat.
╚ The rolling sea and the grey clouds, Earth’s tempest is the one taking up space now, pressing its right hand to Qrow’s clavicle, fingers brushing the panicking pulse, ignoring all the warning signs, blatantly ignoring the warning signs. With zealous force James gives Qrow tangible passion. What real red wine tastes like, what it really means that he is here under the Commander’s touch. Addiction doesn’t even begin to cover it. Carelessness not quite. Still, silent. As cold as always, a hardened heart faces Qrow, eyebrows furrowed and brimstone drowning in the salt sore soaked in the sea. Always steady. James cannot be anything but. As eloquently as Qrow put it.
❝Don’t misunderstand on purpose, Qrow.❞ ╝
╚ James shifts, his knee seats itself on the edge of the cushion that Qrow calls his nest, allows him to lean over. Qrow is under him. This isn’t the first time. His flesh meets with Qrow’s side, the place where the Holy City is eclipsed. A fresh wound with scarlet clinging. It’s so hot it sets his fingers on fire. It’s been long, so long, so so long. A gentle caress. His fingers bring blood with them, the leftovers. It stabilizes him, pressed against the back of the couch like this.
╚ And he just stares. He’s being honest now. There’s no escape for the pretty little black bird.
❝I don’t care if you don’t believe me. Whatever it is you’re thinking up there, I don’t care. It doesn’t mean anything to me. What means something to me is your CARELESSNESS. Do you think I am afraid to say it again? I am not. You, you will hurt yourself Qrow. Even you cannot bounce back from everything. You’re not invincible. Neither of us were, are. Neither of us are invincible.❞ ╝
╚ Can’t help the way his flesh hand brushes hair from Qrow’s sweat-soaked forehead.
I need you. ❝Don’t go getting yourself killed.❞ I need you. ❝You’re not done yet.❞ I need you. ╝
IT IS BETTER TO ASK FORGIVENESS
THAN PERMISSION.
▌ Every follicle embedded in his skin stands at attention under the scrutinizing gaze. It is uncomfortable, to say the least, and knowing that it was his fault, a consequence of his outburst, made him wish he had sewn his maw shut before arrival at his nest. Permission is given to continue his venomous speech, but for once, he is at a loss for words. Where had his vile hatred gone? Had it shrunk back into whichever gutters it had emerged from in the corners of his mind? So much like a fish out of water, Qrow looks past the iron curtain with useless lips. This must be what dying feels like.
▌ And then his bubble of security is popped. He feels the cushion lean in favor of James, and he is inclined to this natural order, this tendency to move closer towards the other, to yield. Where fingers meet flesh, there is a pain that overshadows the lacerations sustained. Pain, now in the context of yearning, united charred crimson together with molten sapphire. Qrow meets his gaze. It is difficult not to, as his countenance is canted upwards. Now looking up, he feels reassured. There is hope that things will get better. This, too, was the natural order. How many second chances has he been bestowed? How many of those were gifts from Ironwood?
❝You’re right,❞ he concedes, ❝like always. I’m sorry.❞ ▄▀
▌ A weak, crooked smile. Carelessness in the face of the inevitable: it’s why he had nearly croaked today, and also why he had the gall to show up uninvited to this doorstep. In that sense, being careless both hindered and saved him. Even caged, the pretty little bird never felt more free. Steady hand is drawn forth, trailing a gossamer’s path along the ridges of sharp, pronounced cheek bones. It is not enough (when has it ever been?). Just like shots, a second addition always makes a happier camper. So it’s no surprise when Qrow’s other hand reaches out to trace along the general’s iron-set jawline. Drunk he is on this touch now, and he cannot be satiated. Warmth from human contact sets each nerve aflame, but they cannot reach his brain at the moment. That’s not where his mind is right now. Praying to Dionysus for assistance, to satisfy his thirst, he gingerly laps at his dry lips.
▌ Okay, stop that. No need to get desperate for the first human contact he’s had in weeks. The first person who shows tough love.
❝Killed? What are you talking about? We are practically immortal.❞ ▄▀
▌ An almost childish, ecstatic laugh rings in the air. They couldn’t die; he would not allow such a tragedy. For as long as they sat here, soaking in each other’s eternal youth, they could not be killed. Not until the world lost use for the two of them. A stray thumb caresses James’ lip, perhaps getting a little carried away. Perhaps forgetting that they were just two old fools, one a bleeding heart, and one quite literally bleeding.
❝I needed this, James,❞ he whispers, ❝and not just the patchwork, either.❞ ▄▀
EVERY DAY OUT THERE IS WORTH
A WEEK IN THIS PLACE.