Quadrant Advice!

- We give advice here! -

[quadrant-advice]

{Hello everyone! My name is Abbaey, and I give quadrant advice! Just write into my inbox, and I will give you advice, to the best of my ability.}

{Some rules:}

Be polite! I won't be entertaining threatening asks!

Format your help request with "Dear Abbaey" at the beginning! Just for the ~ aesthetic ~

If you plan to give updates, please use a moniker of some kind. Any emoji, nickname, sign off, or such, will do!

Do not ask for pailing advice. Seriously, behave!

{A bit about me: My name is Abbaey, and I am a ten sweep old graduate abroad! Hemoanon, she/her/hers, I have a lot of quadrant experience in helping others get together, and I'm known as something of a match maker among my peers.}

{I'm eager to help people and give my advice!}

OOC: this is an rp blog, please be normal and remember it's not real but I DO have to read the stuff you send in.

[quadrant-advice]

Dear Abbaey, HELP.

My boss, an indigo, is CLEARLY GAY, but I just found out that he has a matesprit??? The most beautiful rust EVER, who is way too pretty to be stuck with a jerk like him! I'm not homophobic, he sucks for issues besides being gay, but he does suck a lot. I think she deserves better than a jackwagon who uses her to beard, and especially THAT one. How can I convince her to leave him?

{Alright, hold on. Firstly - did he tell you he was gay? Secondly, how did you come to know this information? And thirdly, do you really think this is your business?}

{Assuming you know for sure that he is gay and that he is not attracted to her but is, for whatever reason, leading her on, then under that circumstance I could understand. However, I want to know exactly how you know this, and what about it is entirely so obvious to you, because if he hasn't even introduced you to his matesprit, I don't see how he'd tell you his sexuality.}

{My personal theory is that he realized he was bisexual, or they have an agreement, or some other thing.}

{And as for the break up, well, indigos and rusts tend to fall pitch or violent, so you might not need to think too long on that. If it's going to fall apart, your meddling will only make it worse. If they break up, do you really want to be the one blamed for it?}

[quadrant-advice]

d34r 4bb43y, 4r3 you 4lt3rn14n or b3for14n? y0u n3v3r sp3c1f13d

{... What's Alternian?}

[quadrant-advice]

Hey yoour quiiirk seeeeems faaaaamiliar

What joobs haaave yoooou haaaaad?

maybe ii’ve seeeen yoooou aaaaaround

{Perhaps so! I work in an office building, we produce elaborate pen and stationary products. Although, I work in the logistics side. My coworkers are all wonderful!}

{It's a bit embarrassing, but the only other job I had was some freelance writing jobs. They never went anywhere... Eventually, I worked my way up through the company, despite my caste, and I ended up being in the upper office levels. I quite enjoy my work! I wasn't very good at writing.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

Which ♡ne ♡f y♡u was g♡ing t♡ tell me that tea tastes different if y♡u put it in h♡t water...?

[alternian-cringe-collector]

You were putting it... in cold water...?

[quadrant-advice]

{B.C.C. Mod. Answer the question, mod.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

... Yeah? I th♡ught f♡r... like... 3 sweeps...? That pe♡ple just put it in h♡t water t♡ speed up the... "tea-ificati♡n pr♡cess"? I didn't kn♡w there was an actual reas♡n...

[quadrant-advice]

{... You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?}

[picturesque-pages]

Why are you... Putting it in the microwave... To boil it?

[quadrant-advice]

{Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?}

[picturesque-pages]

It takes less than a minute!

[quadrant-advice]

{My darling, is your stove top powered by the Grand Captor himself!?}

[picturesque-pages]

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove!?

[quadrant-advice]

{About... Seven minutes?}

[picturesque-pages]

Just place the mug on top of the stove, on medium heat. It boils in about two minutes, less than that. Or you can use a sauce pan.

[quadrant-advice]

{You... you're putting the whole mug on the stove!? On medium heat!? Your stove is perhaps enchanted.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

Which ♡ne ♡f y♡u was g♡ing t♡ tell me that tea tastes different if y♡u put it in h♡t water...?

[alternian-cringe-collector]

You were putting it... in cold water...?

[quadrant-advice]

{B.C.C. Mod. Answer the question, mod.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

... Yeah? I th♡ught f♡r... like... 3 sweeps...? That pe♡ple just put it in h♡t water t♡ speed up the... "tea-ificati♡n pr♡cess"? I didn't kn♡w there was an actual reas♡n...

[quadrant-advice]

{... You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?}

[picturesque-pages]

Why are you... Putting it in the microwave... To boil it?

[quadrant-advice]

{Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?}

[picturesque-pages]

It takes less than a minute!

[quadrant-advice]

{My darling, is your stove top powered by the Grand Captor himself!?}

[picturesque-pages]

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove!?

[quadrant-advice]

{About... Seven minutes?}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

Which ♡ne ♡f y♡u was g♡ing t♡ tell me that tea tastes different if y♡u put it in h♡t water...?

[alternian-cringe-collector]

You were putting it... in cold water...?

[quadrant-advice]

{B.C.C. Mod. Answer the question, mod.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

... Yeah? I th♡ught f♡r... like... 3 sweeps...? That pe♡ple just put it in h♡t water t♡ speed up the... "tea-ificati♡n pr♡cess"? I didn't kn♡w there was an actual reas♡n...

[quadrant-advice]

{... You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?}

[picturesque-pages]

Why are you... Putting it in the microwave... To boil it?

[quadrant-advice]

{Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?}

[picturesque-pages]

It takes less than a minute!

[quadrant-advice]

{My darling, is your stove top powered by the Grand Captor himself!?}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

Which ♡ne ♡f y♡u was g♡ing t♡ tell me that tea tastes different if y♡u put it in h♡t water...?

[alternian-cringe-collector]

You were putting it... in cold water...?

[quadrant-advice]

{B.C.C. Mod. Answer the question, mod.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

... Yeah? I th♡ught f♡r... like... 3 sweeps...? That pe♡ple just put it in h♡t water t♡ speed up the... "tea-ificati♡n pr♡cess"? I didn't kn♡w there was an actual reas♡n...

[quadrant-advice]

{... You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?}

[picturesque-pages]

Why are you... Putting it in the microwave... To boil it?

[quadrant-advice]

{Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

Which ♡ne ♡f y♡u was g♡ing t♡ tell me that tea tastes different if y♡u put it in h♡t water...?

[alternian-cringe-collector]

You were putting it... in cold water...?

[quadrant-advice]

{B.C.C. Mod. Answer the question, mod.}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

... Yeah? I th♡ught f♡r... like... 3 sweeps...? That pe♡ple just put it in h♡t water t♡ speed up the... "tea-ificati♡n pr♡cess"? I didn't kn♡w there was an actual reas♡n...

[quadrant-advice]

{... You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?}

[beforus-cringe-collector]

Which ♡ne ♡f y♡u was g♡ing t♡ tell me that tea tastes different if y♡u put it in h♡t water...?

[alternian-cringe-collector]

You were putting it... in cold water...?

[quadrant-advice]

{B.C.C. Mod. Answer the question, mod.}

[quadrant-advice]

Dear Abbaey, please, help! I 《⦾live》 just g⦾t c⦾nfessed t⦾ 《pale》 by THREE different pe⦾ple ⦾ver the weekend, and I d⦾n't kn⦾w h⦾w t⦾ ch⦾⦾se! My l⦾ngterm friend 《g⦾ld》 said she's always had feelings f⦾r me, but I'm scared t⦾ mess up ⦾ur friendship⦿ And my c⦾w⦾rker 《rust》 said I'm the ⦾nly pers⦾n wh⦾'s ever been s⦾ nice t⦾ him, but I was ⦾nly trying t⦾ be p⦾lite! Finally, an ⦾nline friend 《hem⦾an⦾n》t⦾ld me that they've been having dreams ab⦾ut me, but I've never seen them that way⦿⦿⦿ I wish life was simple f⦾rever and we didn't need t⦾ d⦾ this, but⦿⦿⦿ If I have t⦾ pick just ⦾ne, I d⦾n't kn⦾w wh⦾ t⦾ ch⦾⦾se⦿ I d⦾n't want any ⦾f them t⦾ be upset! There's n⦾ ⦾ne wh⦾'s pusher I want t⦾ break⦿⦿⦿ All ⦾f them are g⦾⦾d pe⦾ple I d⦾n't want t⦾ hurt⦿⦿⦿ P⦾lyquad isn't an ⦾pti⦾n, s⦾ I have t⦾ pick⦿⦿⦿ What sh⦾uld I d⦾? ~《༺♡༻》

{...}

{Okay, anon, I'm seeing a lot of "I" and "my", but not a lot of I and My. What do you want from this situation? Who do you have feelings for? I can tell you the statistics, but I can't tell you how you feel. It doesn't sound like you want to date any of them... Or maybe you don't want to date at all?}

{Listen, this is the modern sweep, asexuality and aquadrantism are no longer dirty little words. This isn't the sweep of things like The Glass Closet, where aspecuality was something the 'good' and 'respectable' folk don't talk about. I think you should take some time to do some introspection, and consider that perhaps you just aren't interested in things like this. And there's really nothing wrong with that! I've never been one for croquet or making my own clothes, it's just personal preference.}

{If you really want my opinion, I think hemoanons and olives are a cute match, but your longterm friend would be a better pick, because you've known each other longer. That said... If you have no romantic interest in someone, to the point you feel forced to date them just to avoid hurting them while upsetting yourself... Well, you shouldn't date them.}

{You should consider whether this is something you want or not, though. Do you actually want to date someone, or are you scared to hurt them? You shouldn't force yourself to date anyone, ever. Consider your feelings, not theirs, and get back to me.}

[quadrant-advice]

❥✦Dear Abbaey, I really c⚉uld use s⚉me adv❣ce. ❥✦I'm a br⚉nzebl⚉⚉d w❣th a rust k❣smes❣s and an ❣nd❣g⚉ matespr❣te, and they hate each ⚉ther! Just… desp❣se each ⚉ther! ❥✦I d⚉n't kn⚉w what t⚉ d⚉… I can't ❣mag❣ne leav❣ng e❣ther ⚉f them, but I can't keep be❣ng pulled back and f⚉rth between them, e❣ther. ❥✦I kn⚉w they pr⚉bably aren't p❣tch f⚉r each ⚉ther, I mean, I h⚉pe my matespr❣te w⚉uldn't g⚉ p❣tch w❣th my k❣smes❣s… But any gr⚉up act❣v❣ty leads t⚉ a huge f❣ght. And I just can't ch⚉⚉se… ❥✦What sh⚉uld I d⚉? :(

{Oh dear. That's quite a situation, anon... Naturally, as an bronze, you must be feeling very upset about not being able to get them to play nice with each other. However, a rust and an indigo fighting is... Really to be expected! The do-it-yourself attitude of a rust lends towards dirty hands, and the respectable higher brow of an indigo does not approve of dirty fingerprints. It's to be expected, but that doesn't mean you're expected to tolerate things that are having a negative impact on you mentally. Especially from people meant to make your life better!}

{Unfortunately, it really doesn't come down to you to decide if they get on or loathe each other. All you can do is ask them to respect your boundaries by not picking at each other around you.}

{As for choosing: you shouldn't have to. Plain and simple.}

{Quadrants should not make you feel like you're fighting to have even a moment of stability and peace between the people you care about, regardless of why. They should be complex and bring a range of emotions, but not make you miserable every time they spot each other across the room.}

{You need to sit them both down, individually, and explain how their behaviors are affecting you. Plain and simple. Write down as many instances of these actions as you can remember, express how they made you feel, any social consequences of the behaviors, why they're unfair to you, and then set a firm boundary that these instances need to stop. Your happiness and your safety in public as a lowblood are not optional! If they can't get along no matter what you're doing as a group, that's only going to drive away more friends from you, and as a bronze, being lonely is your worst daymare! So, I know it's hard, but you need to stand up for yourself and explain this behavior is hurting you.}

[quadrant-advice]

Dear Abbaey.

a part of me thinks this is a little silly, but I'm curious. i'm a purple with both an olive matesprit and a gold matesprit, along with a violet moirail. I don't think i need advice, this is more so just for my curiosity! kinda just wanna see what you think about it yk?

~ RM

{Well, first of all, congratulations! You sound like you have your hands full! Let me think here...}

{A purple and an olive matesprit is, first off, quite tricky. There can be a great connection, or a lot of pain - sometimes both! It can be painful to pull away and painful to stay, or as natural as breathing, to the point even post split people still mistake you for a couple! A mixed bag on that one.}

{As for purple and gold, well, you might be surprised to hear this, but that's a great pair! If there's a connection, it'll be a good one. Purples and golds can make a fantastic duo who always care for each other, ground each other, and support each other. Or they can fizzle out with no connection at all, of course. But assuming there is one, it's going to be surprising to others how well it goes!}

{Finally, let me get into this one - purple and violet. I'm sure people will be shocked to hear this, but purples and violets go well together! A purple can help a violet get out of their head, and a violet can help a purple get back to ground. It's sweet, and sooo cute! Every purple and violet friendship I've seen could be a cute couple!}

{Final thoughts: if they make you happy, then you should be proud of yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. I'm glad you've found people who make you feel so fulfilled, RM. It shouldn't matter what I or anyone else thinks - if you're happy, then that's what matters in the end. The only person living your life is you, after all! I hope you're all having a great time together, and I hope you know that you're a lovely polycule in my eyes.}

[quadrant-advice]

Dearr Abbaey, I'm the rust from the fuchsia post. The fuchsia in question is in no way graceful, he's a bumbling oaf. Although we haven't met in person, I assume he trips over his feet every other step. Though I do wish to be there to catch him whenever he falls. Thank you for your advice, I will take it to my bloodpusher.

{Oh! Well, I still wish you both all the luck!}

[quadrant-advice]

dear-abbey-how-to-confess-to-my-pitch-crush?

{That depends on a lot of things, anon... But one of the best pitch confessions is just being direct and a jerk, tried and true!}

{If your beloathed is a violet, for example, try insulting their tackier interests! If they're a jade, maybe insult their fashion choices, etc, etc. Best to be as rude as possible as much as possible! The best pitch confession is one made from deep in your spade, after all.}

{Make sure your confession is tailored to all their weaknesses and how you want to better them, and then just go for it! If you're worried about rejection, you can send it over text.}

[quadrant-advice]

[ QUIRK MASKING ]Dear Abbaey, I [ 10, violet ] have a CRUSHING pitch thing for this weeb [ 10?, olive ], and he said he hates me back. We has some spars and it was GOOD! Usually I don't do pitch but they really made me feel like I just HAD to one-up them... And things were going great UNTIL HE SAID HE MIGHT BE KIND OF RED AND / OR PALE FOR ME?! We aren't official, but I don't know how to feel about this... What should I do? Should I try a red date and see how it goes? Or just tell them I want it to stay casual pitch? Am I in too deep? Please help!

-Foggy Feelings

{Foggy, I really feel for you here. It can be surprising when you suddenly have a pitch flipping softer for you! But, olives are very creative and romantic by nature, so this is something that can happen when they date violets, especially the hopeless romantic kind.}

{The best advice I can give you is to just relax a little. The exact labels don't matter nearly that much! You should focus more on what you like about the relationship, and how it feels, rather than what you call it or what people think it should work like. It's more important to focus on YOUR feelings, Froggy, and if your olive semi-spade is catching a redder feeling, it might be because there's something there! Olives are very intuitive with how they feel, and violets can be very hot and cold when it comes to honesty.}

{Ask yourself, Froggy: ARE you in too deep, or are you just afraid of finding out something new and potentially different? You have nothing to lose with giving him a chance!}

{Take a breath. This isn't the end of the world, Froggy, just a chance t start something new.}

[quadrant-advice]

Dear Abbaey...

How does a Bronze and Cerulean Pairing sound to You? I Don't know where I land with Him, but I Know it's Redways. I sort of Hope it's Flush, but I Don't really know. I got Out of a Bad Moiraillegience with a Purple who was Way Too Handsy, and He's been Supporting me! New Job, New Friends, New Life, i just. I get so Aflutter Wearing His Sign. I'm even Parrotting His Quirk. He got Out of a Bad Moiraillegience too. Maybe I can Be what He Needed all along? Ahhh, I just Can't Tell How!

Sincerely, Beforus Bound Bronze.

{Generally, pretty bad. Cerulean-bronze couples are some of the most toxic leaning ones. There's a huge power imbalance that pushy ceruleans will tend to exploit and more easily cowed bronzes tend to fall in line with.}

{Glad you shook loose that purple! Usually, a purple being pushy with a bronze can help them get over their reservations, but taken too far, it's just toxic. So I'm happy you're out of there! And good on him for getting away from his ex, but this sounds like a bit of a double rebound. Just because you're both single and riding high off of a swift exit does not mean you should blow off steam by blowing any chances of a stable relationship going forward!}

{You do not need to be the fixer, anon! If you're feeling the itch to get back on the scene, download a dating app, and let your matches know you aren't looking for anything serious. Maybe try going to a club, a library, some kind of concert, and feel the single life before you get into another relationship.}

{And that's not even touching on the issues that can come from dating your BOSS... If you still feel this way after a few perigees, and you can secure another way to make money, then I'd say test the waters.}

{But you need to heal first and focus on exactly who "YOU" are before jumping into becoming another "WE", anon.}