welcome to hell, hows your day?

the urge consumes me. (i yells into the void about random nonsense)

[agnes-nielsens]

they call me the information withholder for reasons i won't get into

[redstonedust]

rice fried shrimp

[loveridden1999]

in a way i am my own dead wife

[striders]

kind of a milf.

[striders]

none needed brother

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[cutecipher]

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

[red-garden]

Ngl if Shang Qinghua pulled baby Binghe out of the river and attempted to babytrap Mobei Jun with him, Mobei Jun would believe him. So what the baby looks nothing like either of them, they’ve never had sex, and it isn’t even an ice demon. Qinghua is just that powerful.

[genderfluid-and-confuzled]

thought one: yummy yummy

thought two: orange juice in my tummy

[rarehertz]

cock reveal in 12,000 years

[cheddar-baby]

11,999 years

[cheddar-baby]

11,998 years

[absolutelyzoned]

guy who really likes bagels: hmmm... i bagely remember that...

[64mpg]

me: 🧍🏽‍♂️

my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

[wait-still-rendering]

Still playing octopath traveler for anyone who cares lmao

[infimace-blog]

dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go

[pukicho]

I love it when the kids animated movie ends with some wacky character going "dance partayyy" and then a GREAT song starts to play and everyone is going absolutely nuts! And even better yet, the grumpy one of the group almost looks like he's not going to join in... but sike! then he does! and he boogies down just like everyone else, haha, even that ol' lump of coal can let loose every now and then, ey?

[pukicho]

Wait what? Even the bad guys are starting to join in? That... I did not see coming, oh my days! I think this is going to be a night to remember boys.

[tazetta]

if you've ever gone on a romantic "date" at olive garden just block me rn i literally can't deal with you proshippers -_-

[littlebigplanet]

what

[tazetta]

when you're there you're family

[theriverbeyond]

honestly getting cozy in bed is one of the top experiences one can have on this green earth

[sphinxofgrease]

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

[futzingbarton]

what

[sphinxofgrease]

fucking shit up with a wooden shoe

[futzingbarton]

oh my god

[genderhasnobearingonability-blog]

well wooden shoe look at that

[nerdismyhobby]

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE