feeling super weird right now.Â
the vampire diaries is over, the originals is over, klaroline is over. after so many years it’s all finally over. apparently klaus is also dead in the canon world. hearing about it doesn’t even get a reaction out of me. i don’t know if it’s because those characters just seem so far away from the ones i fell in love with in the early seasons of tvd, or if i’ve just grown up and moved on, or if i’m just having a numb day, but whatever. there’s such a disconnect now and it’s bizarre. my life revolved around these characters and this roleplay, too for so long. so many years. and now it just doesn’t. it was a long time coming and yet feels so sudden. idek.
i miss my loves. i miss being so invested and in love with those characters, with our characters. i miss staying up waaaay later than i should because i just couldn’t put my phone down because of the feels. i miss planning their wedding way back in the beginning when it was the ogs, and i miss all the little moments that were so special. klaroline’s engagement. hayley being the ghost. hope’s starbucks order. mia and stefan sneaking around that first while. stefan writing his letters to mia. caroline announcing her pregnancy with the drawing. that time they got to see henrik at the wedding and put him to rest. mia calling henry her sunshine. violet being a little bully to nik when they were little. all of kol’s nicknames for the kiddos. mia calling kol cat when she was a little one. klaroline’s coffee shop. caroline forever teasing klaus by calling him klausykins, i think it was. all of them being obsessed with gossip girl just because the two of us were and it was too funny. when they all made that fort for little mia and they were singing kiss the girl from the little mermaid. klaus writing his name on his peanut butter so no one uses it on him. there’s so many i’ve forgotten over the years and i know years down the line when i go back to read all of this over i’ll remember so many more and it’ll break my heart that i forgot about them.
now i’m rambling because i’m so sad and i just love this world we created so much. we’ve just made it too big, had it go on for too long. it was so magical in the beginning. this october would have been five years, so we were roleplaying basically the length the originals was on air. maybe this was the year we were meant to end it alongside of it.Â
i’m looking back on the old self paras that were written, the old answered questions. the style of roleplay has changed so much over these years and i like to think my writing has improved ten fold. i owe so much to this world and sierra. kept me going through some of the hardest parts of my life so far.
