signs that u’ve already forgiven ur ex even if u haven’t forgiven him yet
signs that u’re still madly and endlessly in love with him even if he’s broken ur heart to pieces and betrayed ur trust
he’s above you, crying, crying, crying; he’s a wreck, a drunken mess of tangled emotions, and you don’t understand
he says ‘sorry’ and ur chest deflates
he says ‘america’, he’s begging for forgiveness, he’s asking for a second chance and you immediately ask, ‘what happened in america?’
tell me, tell me, tell me’ you did not beg, ‘let me forgive you’
why won’t he let you forgive him?
he’s crying so much… his tears fall freely onto ur cheeks
your fingers, they seek to touch him, comfort him, sooth him, love him
but he’s messing with you
‘you’re a happy person, always been protected‘ he says
lies, lies, lies, u’ve never known happiness ever since he left you, u’ve never been protected ever since he left you
you get up to leave but you don’t
how can you ever leave him?
you get up to leave but he promises answers so you follow
he promises answers and you let him presses a kiss to your ear, to your neck
he promises answers but all he does is lie
all you get from him are lies being kissed into your mouth
lies, lies, lies, by omission
you miss this, you miss him, you want this, you want him-
-but you also don’t want it at all
You want him to stop keeping secrets, you want him to tell you the truth; so that you can forgive him and kiss him back with all your mouth and love him again with all your heart
you want to love him fully; without ever feeling like you’re doing a disservice to yourself and sabotaging your own self-worth again
you kiss back the second his lips are on his, how can you not?
he’s the first, first, first; he’s always been first in your life
you puckered your lips up for a kiss and don’t ever stop kissing back
you frown, you struggle, because you want answers, because you want to forgive him but he won’t let you
‘if u have ur reasons, tell me,’ you say, as soothingly as possible, as gentle, as coaxing as possible, only to have your plea ignored with a kiss to the corner of your lips
‘if u have ur reasons, tell me,’ you say
tell me something, anything, and i will forgive you
‘let me forgive you,’ you didn’t beg
he smooths his palm over your hair, he taps his finger on your skin, against your cheek, he kisses you, he shushes you, and you go soft and weak and pliant
he knows you, he knows you, he knows you
in all the way that matters, he knows you
you want answers but all you get are lies, and lies, and lies
he lies against your nose, lies against your cheek, into your hair, on your temple, your forehead
the will to fight has completely left you… you’re not getting any answers
maybe, it would’ve been better to not ask at all
u’ve forgiven him a long time ago
(x) signs that u’re falling in love w/ ur rival. signs u’re still in love w/ ur ex.
