Bpd+schizo HELL

18+ | Vent account | tw $h, @na, si, psychosis, chronic illness | all the shit I can’t post on my main account

[schizospec-culture-is]

schizospec culture is having a memory you have zero clue if its actually real, a dream, a hallucination or something else entirely

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[schizospec-culture-is]

schizospec culture is being too scared to ask your friends if things that you saw / heard are real, because you think they’ll just make fun of you instead of helping.

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[mindflamer]

it's so maddening that helpful services for my disabilities "exist" yet anytime i try to access one i don't qualify, it's not in my area, it's not accessible, insurance doesn't cover it, there's rules i can't meet, etc. who is this even for

[wheelie-sick]

the minute someone is noticeably psychotic people's social skills fly out the window because they don't see psychotic people as people

"what do I do if I shouldn't call 911?"

well "I'm sorry I'm in a rush" is a pretty good option or "I can't talk right now, sorry" and then move on.

psychotic people, ultimately, are people. they are just as human as you are and the vast vast vast majority of the time they're not interested in hurting you.

when you're approached by a psychotic person ranting about delusions or hallucinations (and possibly speaking with disorganized speech) they are just looking for human connection, that's all. they might not have many people around to talk to and it gets lonely. when someone talks to you about a secret society of mind readers out to kill them they are just trying to connect with people and sometimes process the fear they're experiencing (because a secret society of mind readers out to kill you is rather scary!)

things like mania can also make you very talkative and very social.

someone coming up to you to talk about being the second coming of Jesus isn't trying to hurt you. they just want to talk. if you have time then have a conversation, most of the time you don't even need to say much. you can politely nod and go "wow that's crazy" and "that's so scary" and it might be one of the kindest things someone does for them that day. if you don't have time just say you're in a rush and leave.

it's that simple

[cosmosspace]

“I still have potential”, I whisper with scars, bad grades, no friends and no plans for the future

[vmzoid]

​A bit cliche, but I feel like I’m programmed to just automatically pretend everything’s fine.

Somebody asks how I’m doing? I don’t even consider not lying.. I’m good. I’m always good. What do you want? Why are you asking? Do I look off today? I swear I acted the same as always. Nothing’s wrong with me, I’m doing great. Ignore the obvious rot on me.

It’s not like they can help me anyway. All they would do is pry and make everything worse. I don’t want your meds. I don’t want your superficial conversations about how my day was or if I’m suddenly cured.

I lie for my own safety, because god knows these people will do nothing but harm me.

[mylittlemesseduphead]

it sucks how people dont let you talk about your psychotic experiences and immediately just go "see a doctor about that" or "i am not qualified to help with this" like i actually am not asking you to fix this i just need someone to listen to me because this experience is incredibly isolating and lonely and scary and no one seems to be able to deal with me when i really just need a friend. like why is it ok to talk about your autism or adhd struggles but as soon as it is psychosis it is chucked in the too hard basket.

[wodorotlenekmiedzi]

Its easier for me when my life is miserable.. when everything is good I start to feel uncomfortable.

[jealous-bitch]

It’s kinda unfair that it’s so hard to kill yourself :/

[vilea777]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[ch4nn3l4st4tic]

[killyourstepdad]

sorry man i can't make it tonight i'm in the torture room again (my brain)

[anxietyproblem]

[hisbrunetteroots]

Funny how when you're psychotic everything you do is "anti recovery" unless you're shutting up and taking anti psychotics to please the sane people.

[lostineden-osculum-mortis]

I'd rather have you die with me than ever live with anyone else

[miiilowo]

Killing yourself shouldn't kill you. I should be able to die recreationally

[cheddarrcheese2]

I hate whenever I tell people I SH or they find out about it and they automatically assume I do it because I'm sad, like no I just like slashing my thighs for fun go away