haunt me then!

ryan aaron - he/him - 22 local man found dead inside, reblogs relatable posts about it schizoaffective bipolar + more

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

i guess i’ll make a pinned post lol

i’m ryan aaron, im 22, queer trans man (he/him) tme, and this is my mental illness blog. i blog about my schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), OCD, C-PTSD, and avoidant personality disorder

i do occasionally reblog positivity for disorders i don’t have but want to show my support for other community members

my personal posts are under #ghost.txt

i try to trigger tag major themes like suicidal ideation, unreality, and others when they come up but i don’t have a regular tagging system. personal posts with major triggers go under a read more button

👻 okay bye 👻

(updated december 2025)

[schizoetic]

People see schizophrenic people without homes on the street but don't witness the slow descent into insanity that brought them there. People see us yelling at vehicles but don't see us in our grandparents truck as a young child with a wide innocent smirk as the wind blows our hair. People see us sleeping over dirty cardboard but don't see us sleeping under lit Christmas trees with our favourite present in our grasp. People see us saying odd things and acting strangely but they don't see us shrieking and jumping into a lake before warming up beside a comforting fire. People don't see our first tooth we pull, the pencil marks we made on doorframes to document our growth, our first self-made tree-house so small that we could barely fit in it, our first colourful drawing, first friend, first anything. They overlook it all and if it's not ignorant it's grotesque. People aren't there for our middle-school or high school graduation. They haven't had hours of engaging conversations with us while rain plummets outside. Most aren't there for anything but snippets of a complex life. They see a person in dire need of help and ignore. There's no thought placed into who we can be, who we were, and hell… even who we are.

[lawbutch]

you don't have to be scared of your suicidal friends. you don't have to be scared of your psychotic or delusional friends. you don't have to call the police every time someone says they feel like they want to die. you can say things like, "that sounds really hard" and "I'm going to bring you some food and you can tell me more about it"

[lawbutch]

Important addition thank you! You can absolutely have boundaries about substance use but your friends who use substances know themselves and their needs better than you, and they do not need policing or threats of incarceration. If you want to help your friends who deal with addiction, be patient and demonstrate that you're a safe person to talk to.

[souplover13]

image: tags. #OR YOUR DRUG ADDICT FRIENDS!!!! you don't have to try to get them to stop using you can just be normal about drugs. end ID.

[endcrys]

Happy disability pride to dissociative people, those with personality disorders, people with schizophrenia, and everyone elsewise labelled ‘insane’ and ‘crazy’ by annoying assholes. I hope you all have a pleasant & comfortable July and beyond

[angels-in-asylums]

Some people in asylums in the 50s were crazy. Some of them were psychotic, screaming at things nobody else could see. Some of them were aggressive, kicking and punching and biting without provocation. Some of them were a danger to themselves. Hell, some of them were a danger to others. And they were people. They were human beings. And all human beings deserve human rights, something those people, by law, didn't have.

Some people in mental hospitals now are crazy. Some of us are psychotic. Some of us are aggressive. Some of us are a danger to ourselves. Some of us are a danger to others. And we are still humans, who deserve human rights, which we legally do not have.

Some of us, a few of the crazy people you talk about, are exactly what you say we are. Psychotic, aggressive, a danger to ourselves and others. That doesnt change the fact that we are human. That doesnt change the fact that every individual human that exists, has ever existed, and will ever exist deserves human rights. That doesnt change the fact that we don't have those human rights in every situation. "Few of us are aggressive," while true as a statement, fails to acknowledge and insist that those of us who are still deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as any other person.

[wheelie-sick]

wait I'm curious about something

If you are psychotic, have you ever experienced a hallucination or delusion that there are bugs under your skin?

Yes, I have experienced a hallucination and/or delusion like this

No, I have not experienced a hallucination and/or delusion like this

I'm not sure if I have experienced a hallucination and/or delusion like this

I think I am experiencing a hallucination and/or delusion like this right now

I'm psychotic and I have other nuance

I'm apsychotic so this poll does not apply to me

Voting ended onJul 4

This seems to be a very common hallucination and delusion. I have definitely experienced this so I'm wondering what the numbers look like

[sandmandaddy69]

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

i post a fair amount about my OCD and while i think taking OCD seriously is very important, i also think we don’t talk enough about the types of things people with OCD do that are embarrassing to the person in retrospect and i think that’s a shame because it can isolate us further so here is a list of some ridiculous things i’ve done bc of my OCD so if you’ve done something you feel ashamed about, know i’m in the same boat

slept with all my windows open and in my desk chair propped up by one when it was 15*F (-9*C) because i was spiraling about the idea that i had a gas leak even though i know all my appliances are electric AND i had just had my fire alarm and carbon monoxide detector checked earlier in the week

called poison control at least once a month for about 6 months for the same normal and expected side effect of my sleep aid

only took right turns for a month even if it doubled my travel time because i became fixed on the idea that i couldn’t trust my memory on if my left turns were done on a green light

kept the page for anaphylaxis on the mayo clinic’s website open on my phone browser to check after eating anything, even just plain fruit, to make sure i wasn’t going into anaphylaxis due to accidental peanut consumption because i have a peanut allergy but it is literally always a gastrointestinal reaction instead of anaphylaxis and has for my entire life and has been confirmed by every one of my doctors

felt guilty every time i had a dream about a celebrity i liked who is even just a year older than me (not even a romantic or sexual dream, literally just hanging out as i am fully aromantic and on the asexual spectrum ) because i felt like i was mentally accusing them of being a pedophile (i am 22)

became my own “name 5 of their songs” person for every artist i liked a song of because i was terrified if i didn’t listen to every single one of their songs i would miss one song that was super offensive and if i said i liked them without listening to everything i would be a bad person because of that one hypothetical song

and plenty more. if you want to add your own, please feel free but you definitely do not have to though

and this post is 100% rebloggable because i think it’s good to both laugh at ourselves occasionally and also share the parts of OCD that we shame ourselves for but many of us actually experience

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

i ran out of my zyprexa and my pharmacy just hasn’t refilled it and i had to request the refill multiple times and my app said it’ll be ready tomorrow (idk if that means today as in tuesday because its 2 minutes past midnight or if it means tomorrow as in wednesday) but im not doing great without it. i have a lot of padding for my depressive episodes — on top of my zyprexa, seroquel, and lamictal i’m also on prozac — but my zyprexa is the biggest safe guard against my manic episodes and i already feel hypomania coming on.

i’m usually asleep by 11pm and it’s midnight and i’m wide awake with a lot of nervous energy. i’m gonna take the meds i do have that can help and try to force myself to sleep artificially, i have a prescription sleep aid that may help me get down, but im also going to try and be nice to myself if i can’t fall asleep and remind myself that even resting with my eyes closed is better than nothing

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

i got some sleep. i ended up needing more of my sleep aid than usual but fortunately i had just gone down by half so i was able to take the full dosage i was on before without issue. i didn’t sleep well and i was waking up every hour or so but something is better than nothing i guess

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

i ran out of my zyprexa and my pharmacy just hasn’t refilled it and i had to request the refill multiple times and my app said it’ll be ready tomorrow (idk if that means today as in tuesday because its 2 minutes past midnight or if it means tomorrow as in wednesday) but im not doing great without it. i have a lot of padding for my depressive episodes — on top of my zyprexa, seroquel, and lamictal i’m also on prozac — but my zyprexa is the biggest safe guard against my manic episodes and i already feel hypomania coming on.

i’m usually asleep by 11pm and it’s midnight and i’m wide awake with a lot of nervous energy. i’m gonna take the meds i do have that can help and try to force myself to sleep artificially, i have a prescription sleep aid that may help me get down, but im also going to try and be nice to myself if i can’t fall asleep and remind myself that even resting with my eyes closed is better than nothing

[furiousgoldfish]

parents will be like "We're good parents! We did our best!" while their child is alone in their room, terrified of footsteps, unable to conceptualize being loved by anyone.

[bpdohwhatajoy]

The day I realized that wanting to be saved is in fact a trauma response and that no matter how old I get, I’ll be a small child waiting for someone to save me

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

when it’s almost midnight on a sunday night and you’ve had a good day and then suddenly the topic of your next therapy session makes itself painfully known 🫠

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

me: i’m 22 years old. it is okay to find a 21 year old attractive. it’s a one year difference and he’s been a legal adult for 3 years

my ocd: finding anyone younger than you attractive makes you a pedophile

me: … i’m not sure you know what that word means

[jerreeeeeee]

the best analogy imo for ocd is mosquito bite. its so itchy its driving you crazy and you know scratching it will make it itch so much worse later but you need it to stop right now and scratching it feels so good and even when you dont want to scratch it and you feel like you could handle the itch you cant even stop your hand from scratching the second you stop focusing on not scratching. except ☝️ what if it was inside your brain and instead of an itch it was terrifying overwhelming distress

[name-of-the-radio]

ocd will have you feeling like Orpheus trying not to look back

[housegoblin]

help